The Powerful Man Show

When DIY Doesn’t Work

Episode #341

What can you do when DIY doesn’t work?

What will it cost you?

Drywall is something that a lot of people think they can do on their own. Seems easy enough, right?

If you’ve ever tried, you know it’s much harder than it looks to do even a decent job.

If you want your drywalling done right and looking good, it’s simple – hire a professional. The harder a thing is to do well, the more you need an expert. Work with professionals and make sure things are done right.

As you might have guessed, this goes for building up your relationship, too.

The idea of doing it on your own seems manly. But if you don’t do it right, another man is going to come in and tear it all down. We don’t have the luxury of having a second or third chance. So rather than doing it on your own, hire a professional, have them come in, and have it done right the first time.

In this episode, we are going to talk about the DIY approach to relationships and what will it cost you if it doesn’t work.

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00  

If I don’t do the drywall right correctly, now I’ve lost the material. More importantly, I’ve lost the time, the opportunity cost, the idea of doing it myself is kind of manly, and I like that. But I don’t do it right, and someone’s got to come in, tear it all down, just like going through a divorce. If you don’t do it, right, you’re going to get divorced or tear it all down, and someone’s got to come in, which will be the other man, and they’re going to build it back up. They’re going to do it right. Or I can work with a professional and have them come in and make sure it gets done right first.

Doug Holt  0:00  

Hello, everyone, and welcome to The Powerful Man show. I’m your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host, Tim, “The Powerful Man” Matthews. How are you doing, brother?

Tim Matthews  0:10

Very well. Yeah. Amilia’s mum’s here, she’s so great, right. We’ve been working out in the morning. I work anywhere, but I shifted the time to Monday. We’re going to the room where she’s staying Amilia gets her up. She’s like, what time is it? And Amelia’s like it’s boot camp time? I was like, What, what’s that? So she comes into the gym, and she does a full workout with us. I mean, we tell her to do yoga and begin to warm up and need some bodyweight stuff, but man, she had some serious Dom’s. Yes. , it’s like, right. It’s hilariously worked out yesterday and worked out today—a lot. Wow, she has just been eating the food. We’ve given the station a health retreat when she comes here. She just ate the food. Now she’s got the boot camp, and she goes on walks like takes off with Amelia goes, goes either in the mountains or the beach or wherever but yeah, it’s been a lot of fun. It’s been a lot of fun having her here.

Doug Holt  1:19  

That’s awesome

Tim Matthews  1:20

Then she goes back on Friday.

Doug Holt  1:24  

Which is today, as we’re recording, this is a Wednesday for everybody else. It’s Wednesday, a late afternoon for you and early morning for me. So only a couple more days, a day and a half for you.

Tim Matthews  1:37  

The other word you asked you sent me a message of the weeks and how many pull-ups can you do?

Doug Holt  1:42  

I haven’t replied.

Tim Matthews  1:44  

Back to my weighted pull-ups.

Doug Holt  1:47  

Nice.

Tim Matthews  1:48  

Yeah,

Doug Holt  1:49  

looking forward to seeing the video proof of that, as we always talk track

Tim Matthews  1:53

Come on,

Doug Holt  1:54

Men are the men in The Brotherhood are an awesome challenge. They’re doing something called the baseline challenge that we put out. It’s 90 days just to give the guys listening that aren’t involved. It’s 90 days we have two winners, right or two winners in each category, we have strict guidelines, which means no cheating, no exchanging exercises, etc. So we have the best man who’s got the best time to exercise a group of exercises they have to do then the most improved, right. So they have to submit a video for proof, etc. Because not everybody does reps fully you and I know, he doesn’t want to do a squat, and they go down like three inches they’re like, Oh, it’s good, because their legs are tight, or whatever it is. So we got that, then we also have the best time for modified exercises, which they have to get approved by me and modified. Because, if you tell some guy to do pull-ups, and he says, Well, I’m going to modify pull-ups I’m going to do, a 20-meter sprint, like no, it’s not the same. Yeah, banded pull-ups, etc., we. Can we add some of these things with the Asterix in them? So it’s cool some of these guys; the videos they’re posting are amazing, right? Some guys are deconditioned. But they’re going after it, right? And they get 90 days to improve, right? You clean up your diet, you work on recovery, you work on the exercises and the modalities we’ve given them, you’re going to see some major improvements. Some of these guys are just studs, right? All of a sudden, you’re seeing these guys who they’re all business owners, right? They’re all married with kids, then they walk into a room or their garage, and it’s a full gym, they got a rowing machine, they got squat, and they’re ready to rock, and they’re like, let’s go you could tell they got their game face on such a great community loving encouragement with a little bit of trash-talking that’s what

Tim Matthews  3:47  

Yeah, so do as well. We all act like they’re not competitive, then you put them in that environment. How Have You Been anyway?

Doug Holt  3:58  

I’ve been a good man. Good. Got family in town, which is great. My wife’s family but also where, as, I’ve got this. It’s roughly 1300 square feet. I think I changed the number of Moses somewhere between 13 and 1400 square feet. It’s my man cave. It’s kind of half below ground, half up above the ground, and I started doing it with some friends, did the flooring, and was doing stuff by myself. We put in a new wall because we’re building a whole another room out of here. I’ve Put up the wallet itself to get the drywall ready, and things like that drywall are difficult to do well, easy to do. Okay,  tough to do well, and people construction always talk about it like a great drywall guy is hard to find. So today, instead of doing it myself, which never seems to work out nearly as well, right? It’s always not quite as good for a lot of the guys. We have a lot of construction guys or big construction companies here for them. Maybe it’s easier. But drywall is one of those things that has nuances, right? If you don’t get it right, and you walk up to the wall, you can just see somebody like myself did it, and the tape is showing, right? Some of the corners aren’t quite done, right it got me, so anyway, the drywall guys coming today he’ll be working on that fact, he’s coming in a little bit got me into thinking, which is kind of interesting is, I was talking to one of our advisors, and he had mentioned, hey, I got a phone with a guy. His marriage is crumbling with four kids. Tim, marriage is crumbling, he said, the guy said at the end of it, look, I don’t know if I want to invest the time into doing this. I get so much from the podcast. I’m just going to do it myself like I’m trying to drywall myself.

Tim Matthews  5:44  

Yeah, I had that from a get like quite a lot. ? That’s crazy to say quite okay. I say quite a lot, which is great. Because the podcast is so well listened to, and thank you, guys. But yeah, I mean, it’s not the finished article. Right?

Doug Holt  6:03 

Well, so let’s look at this right. I was talking to my neighbor the other day about my neighbor’s retired FBI agent, brilliant guy, and he’s got some great stories. I mentioned something about the drywall because we’re looking for a recommendation we’re new to the area. He said, Look, drought, same thing, drywall, something that a lot of people think they can do on their own. But once you,  doing it well and doing it, if you want it, you want to hire somebody a professional to help you with the drywall. Because it’s night and day difference, and you’ve seen bad drywall I have because I’ve built out I’ve done drywall myself before with people who are good at it even with their help, it was hard to do you need an expert the guy said, Look, he’s like, what’s up? He’s the classic line. What’s your time worth? , he’s like, Doug, I’m going to guess you’re making over 250 an hour. Right? For what you’re doing. Do you hire the drywall guy for 50-75 $100 an hour? It’s like that’s a no-brainer. Right? It’s just, it’s a no-brainer. Yeah, you could try to do it yourself. Sure. Right. You could, are you going to get great results? Probably not. But maybe let’s just say Doug, you can, right? Maybe you can get root, maybe you’re good. Or you get lucky. Or, you watch enough YouTube videos on how to drywall and get the edging and all these things around the corners, just perfectly. So you’re happy with it. But it’s a Remember, you’re going to be seeing this wall every day, maybe for years, and we sell the house. Everybody’s going to be looking at that drywall to see how it was done and it reminded me of people’s marriages. Right. I tried to do it myself, Tim. I was that guy. The ironic part was that I didn’t want to spend the money. They didn’t want to spend the time. Right, I look back at it. I had the money. That wasn’t an issue. 

Right? I made excuses for not having the money. But the truth is I had it right. I could put it somewhere else if I got divorced. I would have lost a lot more money going through there. The time was my biggest excuse, right? My limiting belief was listening to podcasts, reading every book I got my hands on, but it never quite got me there. It reminds me of doing my drywall. Yeah, I can watch YouTube videos, and I did prep preparing for this. I could do it. But if it doesn’t work, what’s that cost me? Right? If I don’t do the drywall right correctly. Now I’ve lost the material. Right? More importantly, I’ve lost the time the opportunity cost, right? The idea of doing it myself is kind of manly, and I like that. But if I don’t do it, right, someone’s got to come in, tear it all down. Right? Just like going through a divorce. If you don’t do it, right, you’re going to get divorced, and you’re tearing it all down, then someone’s got to come in, which will be the other man they’re going to build it back up, they’re going to do it right. Or I can work with a professional and have them come in and make sure it gets done right the first time.

Tim Matthews  9:04 

Yeah, I mean, I saw I was going to say drywall, you can tear it down, do it a second time, do it a third time, maybe even a fourth time if you need to, maybe because you enjoy the process of doing it yourself. I can do that with marriage. You don’t get a second run-through. , usually by the time it gets to the point where maybe marriage counseling is on the cards, or maybe there’s Talk of separation, or maybe there is a separation or the guys reached out to us usually by that point, the woman is so far out of the door, and the guy doesn’t even realize it, right? Because the guy is so focused on work. He thinks this is the first warning shot that’s getting fired; he thinks it is the first, but in her eyes, it’s like the last right, he does have the luxury of going at it a second time, third time, because the thing is, as well, for the guys, that got it the second time, so I said, warning shots are fired, right? The woman is making subtle suggestions about, hey, I want to spend more time with you; hey, what about if we just did this weekend, instead of doing that, then I’m going to work, I’m going to work, the woman’s going to be subtle about it then maybe arguments stop. 

The guy thinks, Oh, this is great but is bad. Because she started to check out a bit, right? So then, by the time it gets to the point of, okay, fine, I’m going to make a change. She doesn’t trust it either, sometimes if it’s too late and the third time putting up the wall, the second time, or putting up the wall. Whereas if, like you, Doug, you assess a situation you realize, could I do that drywall? No, I could probably put a wall up. But he’s not going to be the real deal. It’s not going to be the real fix. So I’m going to bring in somebody to do it. Right. So I’ve got one shot at this, even though you don’t have one shot at this, but a lot of guys do. Right? Somebody said something to me on a call. Recently, it was brilliant. He said, Tim,  what? It’s a no-brainer for me to do this. Why? Why does Tiger Woods still have a Swing Coach? If the best in the world still has a swing coach? Tim, what could a tennis player do? Look at anyone? They’ve all got coaches, even though they’ve got all those achievement achievements behind them? If they’re still doing it? I think they’re not something that I don’t. So I’m going to hire the best that I know of to help me.

Doug Holt  11:47  

Yeah, I mean, it’s exactly why we rolled out the one on one coaching that opportunity for guys going through as well because we’ve had some guys they’re looking for, they want the best, they want the best, they want the full treatment, and everything else going into it, I think it’s important because I don’t want this to sound like a pitch fest at all. Because that’s not the intent of this move. Julie just got me thinking about the drywall. Right, guys. You don’t have to hire us as your drywall experts to use that analogy. But get someone who’s got a proven track record. So the guy is coming in now. So we had recommendations, right. So I jump on his website, like you, you do, right? You look at it, and this guy was smart enough to have a few testimonials on there. Right? Okay, cool. This is work for guys like me. This is done, right? Because people don’t jump on and give a drywall guy a testimonial. Suppose they’re not if it was a shitty job. It’s the same thing for the work we do. Or the work anybody else does. There are other people out there doing good men’s work out there. We believe that what we’re doing is the best, right? Otherwise, we wouldn’t do it; that’s just the way it is. There are other opportunities out there. But it’s got me that whole DIY approach. I used to be stuck in this mindset. 

And this, the mindset, for me, at least came from this idea of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, right? And growing up as a kid. My parents split when I think I officially got divorced when I was five, but we kind of joke, and my mom won’t buy anything that’s not on sale. Right? And I come from an upper-middle-class family. My dad only buys the best. Right? So we had that kind of mindset of Okay, drywall, I can do it. Right, I got a couple of buddies and grabbed a couple of beers or something. We can do the drywall, not a problem; I’ve had offers from friends to do it. But I’m going to be looking at this drywall every single day. Right? It’s down here. It’s my man cave. I’m here a lot, relaxing. What entertains you? I’m going to notice it then when I sell this place, assuming I sell this house at some point, right? The other people are going to look at the drywall. I’m going to buy us a shitty job. Why don’t you just get it done right the first time? Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. But I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing? Like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it. I get it. Go over right now to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies of ten men just like you who have found The solution and have found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Right, the thing that I think a lot of us miss, and I used to miss when I used to do all these DIY projects, myself, not the DIY projects that I just enjoy doing, but ones that you kind of have to do. Right. Right, the ones that you just need to get done. Well, I think I missed it when I was in my 20s. I’m in my 40s now was the opportunity cost. I knew opportunity cost you; everybody tosses it around. But what am I? What else could I be doing? Besides watching YouTube videos on drywall? What else could I be doing besides actually hanging drywall, mudding it, doing it properly, making sure I sand it? Well, rounding the edges then cleaning up that crap I’ve done drywall cleaning up is a pain in the ass. I could be playing with my kids, and I could be making love to my wife. I could be reading a book outside. It’s beautiful weather right now. I could be working and generating more cash and revenue. I could be doing things faster that I enjoy the idea of these guys in the relationship, and I get it, and I was there. You could be repaired, and you can have your relationship repaired, not just repaired. But I am doing well. Where is your wife looking with admiration? She’s looking at you with love and respect again, and you can have that quicker. The DIY approach, I don’t know, this guy’s coming today. He’s going to be working on things to do in two days to finish the wall, which is what he’s quoting for us. Two days. This has been up there for a month or two. Right? That I would do my right, we are all these wooden pallet walls, and we’re going to drywall, etc. Two months. Can I do it myself? Is dragging on Tim what I’m trying to say? Maybe I will have to drywall another month or two from now because other things will come up. It’s the same thing with your marriage—the same thing with investing in yourself.

Tim Matthews  15:53  

Yeah, just kind of back to the original thing with this podcast as well. Something happens, right? When you have skin in the game, this podcast is great for guys to keep listening to as an adult. I don’t want it to deter you from the podcast. Keep watching it, keep listening to it; we love doing this for you guys; there’s a shift that happens. I’ll speak for myself, this shift that happens in me as Doug where we invest, that once we put money down and we have skin in the game. We prioritize that thing in our life, and we value its place. Right? And let’s say it is some consulting, right? Let’s say we hire somebody. When we pay, we invest, we then pay attention. It sounds cliche, but we do, right. Whereas if we’re just listening to their podcast, let’s say, Yeah, they might share some great things we might say, hey, that’s a good idea. What if we try that. But we don’t ever get around to prioritizing it. Because inevitably, we also hit hurdles in implementing it, right? Because we can’t see our blind spots. We don’t know the context with which that consultant is giving us that advice. 

Right? And also the context within our current predicament, right. So inevitably, we take the advice, we might hit a few snags, or we might decide, we’ll just wait, we’ll just wait, we’ll just wait, we’ll put it off. Maybe if we hire that guy and go directly to the source, the shift happens much faster. I think something that you and I are constantly in the conversation about is not doing it ourselves to remind ourselves and not do it ourselves. Because for a long time we would do that. Right, I think similar to a lot of the guys, as well. , you spoke about what else you could be doing with that time. Honestly, I think so many guys have got used to sacrificing themselves and struggling. That is just the norm; they’ve gotten so used to struggling to work long hours, even if they’re making great money. They still feel like they are kind of empty to a degree because they’re not working out. Usually, they’re not taking time out for themselves to do anything they enjoy. Usually, they don’t even know what they enjoy doing anymore. They’re just used to being in that emotional state to struggle by trying to do it yourself with the drywall or the marriage. It’s just kind of where they’ve been; they don’t know what they don’t know to the degree of that and one other thing. Finally, they also get kind of embarrassed and ashamed. They don’t know how to figure it out. Why do they keep Quiet and tend to try and, in my opinion anyway, do it themselves?

Doug Holt  18:52

Yeah, and I get that, right. Like when I was going through the hard times in my marriage, I don’t want anybody to know, nobody to know, right? Not a coach, not a friend, not my wife, like nobody I wasn’t, I was, I felt like I should be able to do this on my own. So I get it. I didn’t know so many guys, when they talk to the advisors or get on a phone, phone with you to chat and they only talk to you when they get, have extra questions, if they talk to an advisor, getting on a phone call, guys, just so, it’s not a sales call, right? The advisors are graduates of the program; they’re like, hey, maybe this is a good fit. Let me see if I give you some breakthroughs and send you on your way. If it’s a good fit, then they push you through or allow you to get on a call to talk to somebody about joining the program. But the first call isn’t about that at all. So the point being is that I didn’t know Tim because I’m not on any of these calls. I didn’t know a lot of guys were saying this. I’m listening to you thinking about all these men out there thinking they can do it by themselves in this podcast. I’m feeling a little guilty, right? Because this is our basic program, The Activation Method, an eight-week program. That’s proven, right? Could you imagine consolidating, which I’d never thought of eight weeks into 30-minute podcasts? Right. Now, these podcasts we do. They’re all over the place, guys. Right? No continuum takes you from point A to point z; the program is crazy. To me, it’s almost like giving instructions on building a house, and we always use that house analogy because it’s one everybody can kind of get. But imagine you get the instructions, and you start building as you’re building like Okay, cool. I got the fireplace put together. 

All right, great. Okay, next week, they’re going to give you another instruction. Right on the podcast that you’re listening to now, they’re going to tell you how to do the door trim, great, great, got the door trim. Awesome. Right, then the next week, they tell you how to do the foundation, you’re like, if you don’t know that there is an order, the foundation should have been on first, right? And the plumbing should have been thought about, right, the electrical where that’s going to go, all of these things, and there’s an order to build a house if you don’t do it in the right order, you’re not going to get a good result. You’re just not. It’s the same thing with the program, and This podcast was never designed for this show. If you’re watching on YouTube, as well, it was never designed to take a man from a systematic approach to saving their marriage. Right, we have all kinds of other topics; we talked about health, wellness, going into business as well. So guys, uh, if anybody expected this to be a systematic approach to this show, my apologies for you having that expectation or thinking because it was never the intent, right? The program is the program, that’s what’s designed to take you from point A to point z, that’s what’s designed to make sure the architecture of your house and your foundation is solid, and everything is put together in place at the right times, to get you what you want. We’re here to give you insights, Tim, and I come on, onto this show, we just share our ideas and things that we see going through there we’re glad, and we hope this brings value to people that’s the intent, right is to bring value, but in no means was it ever intended to be a systematic approach. Yeah, otherwise, we wouldn’t have so many shows. I think going through that if you look back in the archives, so this is again, the whole thing which made me think about this was again looking at this wall that’s over here to my left. I’m speaking to you guys, and the frame is up, but there’s no drywall. Right, So thinking that I can do that myself and spend those weeks and days just doesn’t work right.

Tim Matthews  22:43  

And look, you’ll be able to build a wall, but it might not be the best drywall, even great drywall, I think, for some of these guys. The guys who listen to the podcast and choose to go out on their own are awesome, and the reason they choose to go out on their own is that they see a little shift right when they’re using the Hidden Motives Technique. Things are different. They’re using the Alpha Rise & Shine. Okay, but guys, I think some guys and I were guilty of this. You don’t know how great it can be. Now when you go from terrible to neutral, neutral seems so much better than neutral. But you can go from terrible to neutral to great, and I think for some of the guys that kind of sell, this isn’t anything against anyone. They just settle with neutral because, like I said, neutral is so much better than it was guys, it can be so great. We have guys that go from arguing three times a week to having sex two or three times a week? These guys, they don’t count how many times you have sex, the notch on the bedpost. But we see it, and we see it day in day out with demand. Just imagine what else that opens you up to in your life, guys. Because just like a business can become tough when things aren’t going well. Well, just imagine what’s possible on the reverse of that things are going well at home, and you are having his shift from arguments to sex. Just imagine what that does in energy, how you want to work out, how you want to lead in business, how you feel like a man of just all sorts. So anyway, the T drive, I think he’s a smart move to bring somebody in. He can use that time a lot better, as, and the end product is not only going to be done faster, I think it’s going to be one that you’ll be a lot happier with too.

Doug Holt  24:48  

I agree. I agree. So, gentlemen, that’s a wrap for us here at The Powerful Man show. As always, go over to The Powerful Man dot com forward slash bonus; that’s ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus. We’re changing out that bonus every single month. So you should get a new bonus there, of course, if you’re late, you’re going to miss out on the one doing it. Right, the one that is up. So we want to make sure you guys get something new every month. Going through there, if you’ve been with us for some time, I greatly appreciate Tim and I both would take it as a personal favor. Suppose you can leave us an authentic review over wherever you’re finding this YouTube, iTunes, Stitcher, wherever you’re finding us Facebook. In that case, I think the team puts us out in various places, guys, and we always love the comments that we get from you guys. Tim and I love doing this; if there’s something specific you’d like us to talk about, please let us know as well. Alright, guys, have an amazing week. As always, get an insight to take massive action

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