One Life!

Episode #342

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00  

This ticket is good for one month, but you get the cash for that ticket to live your life, and I have it as a poster as a reminder that we have one life. We know we have one life to live. What I want you to imagine is you have this ticket one life, and you’re bound to cash it. In other words, you’re about to hand it into your maker, your toddler, whatever universe, whatever you want it to be, and the clock is ticking. Are you getting your value out of this? Is your one life worth?

Doug Holt  0:00  

Hello everyone, and welcome to The Powerful Man show. I am your host Doug Holt with my co-host Tim “The Powerful Man” Matthews. What’s going down, brother?

Tim Matthews  0:07 

I am feeling good. What, this past week, found myself working late? Why. It’s because it’s not getting dark until I’m looking at it, and that overwinter has been my trigger to be like, okay, let’s just, it’s kind of lit. But I’ve just been continuing to roll with it, which is great. I love what we do. Right, I could do it. I just enjoy what we do. But the flip side is I end up eating less. I don’t sleep as well, which makes me more tired the next day. So yeah, anyway, it was a nice day, it’s late at night.

Doug Holt  0:51  

What’s the thing about loving the outdoors too? I have a guy turning for a little boy; he’s looking outside and like time for bed. He’s like, what? It’s still daytime, Daddy, and I’m aghast at the way it works. Bud, you’re going to bed. We put our guy down pretty early, a lot earlier than most parents do. Get up earlier. But, sort of why? So it’s not a big deal. But we’re talking about letting him stamp a little bit later these days.

Tim Matthews  1:18

Oh, what time do you put him down?

Doug Holt  1:19 

usually start the process around 6 pm. So, brushing teeth using the bathroom? , we read two books, we’ve always read two books every night to both of our kids. , they now read people,  we anyway, we read two books then we have a little playtime, little family time, in their room before we put them down? So he’s hitting the pillow, so to speak, around seven 645. Seven, it’s a process. But it’s one of those processes we cherish. Right. So it’s a great thing for the entire family.

Tim Matthews  1:53  

Oh, nice, what time do you go to bed.

Doug Holt  1:57  

varies for me. So between eight and nine, I usually get into bed. Somewhere in that ballpark, sometimes a little bit later, depending. But, I was getting up at 420 in the morning. The last couple of days, I’ve been letting myself sleep in just because of recovery. Just kind of testing that, which has been interesting. Right? I’m not sure I’m getting much more sleep, active sleep, but my body’s changing my body, pops up but four in the morning for 20 anyway, because I’m so used to it. I’ve been doing it for so long. But I missed that precious morning time when I’m by myself doing my Alpha Rise & Shine. Having that time to get things done. We have a big-time difference from where you’re living to where I’m living with the rest of the teams all over the world. So sometimes in the morning, I’m able to use that time to connect a little earlier. But yeah, I’ve been sleeping in, and it is you when you let yourself relax, as we went on vacation. Sometimes your body’s more tired, right? Because it’s like, Ah, okay, let’s calm this down. So it’s been interesting to see how that’s been working.

Tim Matthews  3:06 

I love that. I love that.

Doug Holt  3:09  

Yeah, so it also made me think about getting sunlight for anybody watching this with the sun with this wind up coming down my face. Guys listening to this can’t tell, but it’s annoying to keep moving my head to try to make it look like my face has got frosted tips or something on there. Well, maybe think about this, Tim, as you and you and I were talking offline or off of the recording anyway, this idea of having a ticket. Right? And I’ll explain, but I’ve got a poster right here that’s to my right, and it looks like a movie theater ticket or a raffle ticket. Right? If you would, if you can imagine in your mind’s eye a red raffle ticket on that ticket, it’s got your ticket number right as they always do it on the side. But it says one life. This ticket is good for one life. You get right. You cash that ticket in so you can live your life. I have it as a poster as a reminder that we have one life. Now you can get to theology and everything else. But we know we have one life to live where what happens after this. We can debate ad nauseum. But we’re not here to do that. So what I would imagine, what I want you to imagine, is you have this ticket for one life, and you’re bound to cash it. In other words, you’re about to hand it in. Do your maker, your toddler, whatever the universe, whatever you want it to be. So I want you guys to imagine that you’re doing this; the clock is ticking. Right? Are you getting your value out of this ticket? Is your one life this ticket you have? Is that worth it? Right? My poster here is, it’s not a poster. I don’t think it’s hard to describe because it’s like yours behind you, Tim. It’s thicker, and I haven’t seen it, etc. 

So it’s nice. It says limit one per person, right? You only get one ticket, and it says make it count; it makes me think I like it up there. Because I am making this one life count? Or am I settling? I’m human, and I’ll tend to settle for certain things. One of the reasons I’m sleeping in is not settling, right? I want my body to get rest. I was working with a professional, his diagnostics, so to speak on our communication was He’s like, Man, you need more sleep. He’s like, I think that’s your number one focus. It should be sleep, not exercise, not nutrition, just sleep. So I looked at this ticket and was like, that’s interesting, right? That concept? If this is your one life, your one shot, your one ticket, you’re cashing in. Are you making it worth it? Are you making it worth it in the five territories? So we talked about The Powerful Man, and just to remind the guys here, the five territories? ourselves, right, let’s just talk about that. Are you filling yourself up? Are you doing things that you love? Right? Are you doing those things that fill your cup? Are you sacrificing for other people? So for me, right, I live right as Tim, I backed up to the National Forest on multiple sides of my property. , I go mountain biking right through the mountain bike out there. I can go for a trail run go hiking. Am I doing that, though? My filling my cup? Or as we talked about in another podcast? Or am I stuck in this room trying to do drywall by myself? Right so self-first territory, secondary territory health? Are you taking care of yourself? I’m sleeping in strictly to see how it affects my health where an aura rings, so I’m tracking it, looking at it. But guys, are you working out? Are you doing your Alpha Rise & Shine? Are you eating well? Or have you just given up? Do you have the dad bod? You’re like, yeah, I’m in my 40s screw it in now. This is the way it is. I’m getting old, and my knees are not going to whack exercise. That’s BS. Are you taking care of yourself? At least moving? You don’t have to be a male model. Right? But are you making progress in that territory? wealth, right abundance? Your soul or financial abundance? Right? 

Are you taking care of that? Are you in scarcity mode? I don’t want to spend money. I don’t want to spend the time I don’t want to,  making excuses for things? Or are you playing full out? Guys? Are you going after that big deal? Are you looking at time as an abundant source for you? Right? Being able to spend time with family with friends? I have family here in town and, after this, I want to spend time with them. Right? Are you in that category of wealth? relationships, right? Fourth, territory? relationships? How are your relationships? You have your one life ticket you’ve cashed it in? Are you playing full out in your relationships? What about your friends? When’s the last time you talked to your buddies? The guys that you hang out with? When’s the last time? Or was the last time you met new guys playing at the level you want to play at? What about a relationship with your kids? One ticket? Right? Are you cashing it in?

What other relationship with your wife? How’s that going? Are you investing everything into that? Everything you got? Are you making excuses? Well, when she does this, then I’ll invest more. When she treats me well, then I’ll treat her well. When she works on herself, then I’ll work on myself. That’s a level two relationship, guys. That’s not where you want to be. There are three levels of relationships and intimate relationships. Right? You don’t want to be there. You want to be on a level three, right? The best of the best in your relationship, where you ultimately love each other unconditionally. You’re doing things for her with her because you love her. Because you have to not because you want something for then the fifth category is business. Right? We’re business owners, right? That’s how we play. Am I doing everything I can in the area of business? Am I in a job? Or do I own a business? Right? There’s a big difference in No Man’s Land. Between those two, can I replace myself? If you can, maybe can? I’m passionate about what I do. I don’t care if you sell widgets or you’re helping men change their lives through changing their marriage as we do. Are you passionate about it? Do you love it? Can you find love in it? Are you doing everything you can so Yeah, Tim, I was thinking about it as I sat down here in this chair, and I have this awesome poster? If you guys want to see it, I’m happy to showcase it to you or show it to you? But again, you have this raffle ticket, this movie theatre ticket, whatever you want to visualize. It’s got your number on it, your numbers, your unique identity, who you are, your thumbprint, so to speak, you got one ticket, you get one ticket per person, you have to make a count, are you making it count?

Tim Matthews  09:59 

I love these conversations, and he’s always having me reflect reminds me of The Alpha Reset. It’s the work that goes on there. It’s always been a reflection. I always leave that I’m grateful for your empty mood given so much. But yeah, I mean, for a long time, for me, that was I didn’t, I kind of told myself I did. But then I looked around my life, and I was in a relationship that I didn’t want to be in. I was in a business partnership that I didn’t want to be in. I worked with people I didn’t want to work with, and I wasn’t making as much money as I wanted to make. I could go on and on and on. In many respects, I was successful, and I definitely did not feel it at all for me. The thing that I used to do a lot of ignored my gut instinct. To be honest, if you’re going to make the most of this one life that you’ve got, the last scenario must tune into and pay attention to. Back then I didn’t, I didn’t listen to it, because it terrified me to listen to it, terrified me to end that relationship. So, what would people think of me? Who would I be with? What would I do? I’m going to start over again. So instead, I know I’ll propose maybe that will make things easier, maybe that’ll be the thing that she’ll finally be happy to change. No, that didn’t work out. Kids will buy a four-bedroom detached house; maybe that’s the thing. Nope, it didn’t change. I knew it was the wrong thing to do. Each time I was just ignoring what I  felt called to go for me, my life started to shift. 

Not overnight. But it started to shift when I became aware of what had brought me into the position I was in ignoring my gut instinct, intuition, whatever you want to call it, and making a commitment to start living my life from that place that one shift for me there’s been other things, but that’s the main shift for me, the man guiding light that, in my opinion,  helps me to make the most out of my life, I will make the most out of it can always be more, right? I’m happy there’s nothing in my life right now that I do not want to be here. Be a person, be a project, be a place, be a relationship. There’s not one I find. I’m grateful that I can say that. Because it wasn’t always like that at all. It was the total opposite for the most part. So yeah, I do think I am making the most of my life. But whenever we think of this question, I immediately want to get busy. I immediately want to start, and I’m going to book this. I’m going to book something that I want to do that I know isn’t the solution. Because for me, one of the ways to live, make the most out of my life is to also live in a way whereby life touches me and life lands with me. So I have a depth of experience within what I have going on in my life, rather than trying to fill it with so much craziness to make the most of it. Because, in essence, that just comes from scarcity. Anyway, I’ve got to do this because I need to make the most. After all, if I don’t, that’s just the same energy as before. That might lead to a different material world within your life, but emotionally you’re going to feel very similar.

Doug Holt  14:28  

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. But I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing, like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it. I get it. Go over right now to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies of ten men just like you who have found the solution and found their way on their path, but we want to share that with you go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus right away. Now let’s get back to the show I think a part of this for me one learning to tune in a two-way feeling called to go who you were feeling called to be what you were feeling called to create having the courage because it takes courage to then follow that because it’s not always the most logical thing and it is not the easiest thing. You risk kind of setting yourself apart from people around you. You risk upsetting people to a degree. But learning to tune into them follows that along with doing it to cultivate depth and presence. It’s a constant work in progress then the final piece for me is learning how to communicate as well. Because if I’m able to communicate why I’m making a certain decision, and I’m not doing it reactively or making it about me, I’ve been selfish, then I’m able to communicate why it’s important to me that I’m, I’m doing this follow my instinct, why that’s important to me it just makes it so much easier as I’ve learned all communication from you. Dr. Mann is watching you and listening to you. So yeah, I love I just love the conversation is one You and I are in weekly, if not most days.

Doug Holt  15:19  

Yeah, I mean, that’s the interesting part, right? I mean, you and I have an advantage because being involved in the movement we call The Powerful Man, is we’re in this conversation with men all over the world, daily, almost right? Not even almost it is daily, we have a private group for each of the programs and a general group for the guys that’s private for them, where they’re discussing things like this openly guys are just really not everybody’s in there talking all the time or what have you, right? There’s a lot of us guys that are introverted and a little bit more just busy. But they’re checking the posts; they’re in the conversation of where we even tell guys. There was a guy that had a call today, right? It was a group call for one of our hiring groups; the guy reached out and said, Look, I’m just not feeling good. About, I’m having a rough, rough week. I don’t want to bring the other guys down. So I’m not going to show up for the call, right? No, no, no, no, no. Show up for the call. This is what it’s about. You don’t have to bring the guys down, but just be there and listen. Because by being in the conversation with other high performers, who are successful in their own right but also have issues, we all do. Anybody that doesn’t have issues is a liar. That’s what they are. We all have issues that we all have struggles with, and one of the five territory self-health, wealth, relationships, or business, right? Sometimes we have struggles and all five night at the same time. 

But it’s about being in that conversation is what allows you to think about yourself, right? When I talk about my one life, my ticket automatically you think about yours, vice versa, when you’re talking about Tim, maybe traveling I’m thinking Ah man, maybe I want to travel or what am I doing my stuff doing the drywall going to keep using that as an example because it’s so true. I used to be the guy, it’s like, Okay, I’m going to do the drywall, rather than going out mountain biking, rather than grabbing a beer with a friend rather than doing what I want to do or spending time with my kids, my wife or what have you. So what’s it worth to you? And I love this concept, and it’s why I have it. I mean, it’s a friggin big poster I have over here is one life. You got one ticket, right? One golden ticket is coming through. Boom, here’s your ticket. Right? Are you getting your ticket, your tickets getting punched? Right or getting onto a train or what have you, they’re taking your ticket? Are you getting the value out of that ticket? Are you getting the experiences you want? Are your relationships thriving? Or are you just friggin surviving? Right? How’s your health?  what to do? That’s not a question. So are you taking action? right, you’re not taking action; get a trainer. Do it. Guys, I have a background in fitness and wellness with 18 different degrees and certifications. What did I do? I hired a trainer not because I don’t know what to do because I wasn’t doing it. Right, I just took massive action. Look, Doug, you’re not succeeding with your one ticket in this area of health. Where do you want to be? Tons of excuses, new baby, all new house, new all of these things? There were tons of excuses and all justifiable for why I wasn’t putting my workouts ahead. So what I do is I invest money. Right money I did not want to spend right. I got the best of the best and took a trainer at two of them. Actually, and then also time, right? The guy that I’m working with is like; I’m only available in the middle of the day, Doug, I’m running multiple businesses, The Powerful Man, we got coaching all over the place. I can’t do it in the middle of the day. But I did it. I made it a priority, so again, guys, when you’re looking at these five territories, are you surviving and making excuses? Because I get it? Or are you thriving? And I think one of the things that I’ve learned to do, Tim, and I’m still working progress, man, is, I am by far the imperfect guy out there. But one thing I’ve learned to do is when I’m not taking action towards something I want, or something I’m saying that I want, at least, right, because it’s probably what I want, is when I take massive action, I invest in it, right? I put the money in it, and I put the time in it, and hired the coaches to go through the prep; whatever it is, that’s a catalyst for getting me where I want to go. Right? That’s the catalyst fast forward. I put on like 20 pounds of muscle.

Right? I feel great about running with my kids. My health feels great. I’m not going to be on the cover of Men’s Fitness magazine tomorrow. But that’s not what I’m trying to do. But if I wouldn’t have invested, right, if I would have gone through the story of Doug, what this stuff is, and tomorrow, tomorrow, you’re going to start? there’s no tomorrow on your calendar, guys. There’s no day on the calendar. You take action now. Right now, if you’re not going to take action, then you’re just indecisive you’re lying to yourself I’m talking to myself, as I’m talking to you guys because I’ve done this so many times in so many different areas I did way back in the day when I was with my wife and our marriage. It’s marriage, and I should be able to figure this out. This too shall pass, this will get better over time. Here’s a hint. It didn’t. Didn’t. Week after week. Not having the sex that I wanted to have a connection that I wanted. I was feeling fulfilled. Right, feeling like I had a roommate with a ring. I want that ring back. , it’s like, it’s all her Why does she just change and wake up? And it wasn’t until I took massive action. I realized, wait a minute. Sure. There are things that she needs to change. But if I work on myself and leave that and exit this relationship, I will be a better man. That’s a bonus. I like that if I work on myself, and we’re together, we have what we used to admire, respect, and passion. I’m a better man still. I got that. I like that, too. So I took massive action and put my money where my mouth was, put my time where my mouth was, and I got it. , just the other day, as we talked about the podcast, my birthday. It’s amazing, amazing time fun. Laughter had some drinks, a great lunch through axes. , it was just friggin awesome. Man. It was just a connected, loving, passionate time with my wife with my kids later on. For one ticket, right? Did you get one ticket? How are you doing the five territories of this one ticket? This is a ride. Is your life a ride? This is a ride worth being on? Right? Would you do it again? If you want to change something, guys, do it now. push pause right now. Whatever you’re watching with this, write down your five territories. That’s why I’m going to ask you guys to do self-health, wealth, relationships, business five territories, right? Write them down. One ticket, you got your ticket? Right here. This is a business card. But if you got a ticket, you’re getting it, and imagine the train conductor punch in it. What areas do you want to improve on? What areas do you want to change? Now take massive action. What’s one thing you can do? right maybe it’s hiring the trainer. 

Right and your health? Right? Maybe if it’s your business, you get that consultant that you’ve been talking about for sales, marketing, right operations, the interim CMO CFO, CEO, I don’t know what it is for you. Maybe it’s your relationships. Maybe your marriage isn’t where you want it to be. Maybe you’ve lost that loving feeling. Right maybe you’re just roommates, shitty roommates as the case gets on a call with one of the advisors, their alumni right there guys just like you. That took action, though. They went through the program, and it meant so much to them. They said, hey, I want to talk to other guys. So that I can tell what my experience was. Are these aren’t guys just super excited to get on the phone with people? Now, these are real guys, Real Men, Real business owners, right guys that had businesses some have shifted. Because they like talking so much, I want to do this full time. Get on a call with one. It’s not a sales call. It’s just a conversation, a breakthrough call, and moves forward. But whatever you do, take massive action, guys. One life, one ticket. Are you getting your rides worth you getting your money’s worth, so to speak, for that ticket? I know a lot of us out there want to refund. Hey, on a refund. Now, this is time to double down. If you’re like me, and you’re kind of a buddy, my calls that you’re back 40 right, your first 40 is your front 40. Now you’re back in your 40s, guys, life expectancy is over 40. Yeah, we’re on the back end of this. Now it’s time to double down, double down on our relationships, double down on our investment itself. Or you had those buildings years, and you’re still in them. But this is your shot to take. This is your time.

Gentlemen, as I said, take action. If you don’t write those five territories down, you don’t take action, then, in my opinion, my loving opinion, you have no reason to make excuses. You cannot complain. You just can’t. You’re not taking action; don’t complain. Don’t. So write those five territories down self-health, wealth, relationships, and business. Where’s the gap? Where are you missing there? Where are you? Now, if you guys want the worksheet on this, just go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Gap. That’s the ThePowerfulMan.com/Gap; we have a worksheet. I’ll put one together so you have to write a note because I haven’t done it yet. But I’ll put together a gap worksheet for you guys. So you can do this. That’s how important it is to me. I’m going to spend my time to make sure you have this. All you have to do it’s free. It works. So well. Guys, this has changed my life, and I wanted to change yours for the better. Right? That’s what I’m here for. That’s what Tim’s here for. There are a million things we could be doing. We choose to do this because it’s so rewarding to see you guys. Uplift, become the husbands, the fathers, the leaders that I know you are that you are. It’s just waiting inside for you. But you gotta take action. I can’t do the push-ups for you. My trainer can’t do the push-ups for me. I’ve asked him. Trust me. You can’t do it doesn’t work. I just wanted for you guys to go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Gap easy. You can type it right into mobile. Get it right away. Download the worksheet. Take time to fill it out. Go to a coffee shop, pour yourself a glass of scotch. I don’t care what you do. Take the time to fill it out. One ticket, one life. It’s worth investing 30 minutes to fill this out. Gentlemen, that’s a wrap for us today at The Powerful Man show. As always, we appreciate you guys again. Take massive action any insight you get. Until next time, have an amazing week. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man show.