Episode #790
Are you curious about what it means to embody grounded masculinity in today’s society?
Do you want to explore how this concept can positively impact relationships and personal development?
In this insightful episode of the TPM show, hosts Tim and Doug delve into the concept of GROUNDED MASCULINITY, discussing its significance and practical implications.
Throughout the conversation, they offer compelling insights into the essence of grounded masculinity, emphasizing qualities such as quiet confidence, self-assurance, and leadership by example. They challenge listeners to define masculinity for themselves and explore how embodying grounded masculinity can lead to greater fulfillment and success in various aspects of life, from relationships to mental well-being.
In this episode, you’ll learn about the key components of grounded masculinity and how it can empower individuals to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and authenticity.
Tune in as Tim and Doug provide valuable perspectives and practical strategies for embracing grounded masculinity in a world that often overlooks its importance.
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Transcription
Tim Matthews 00:00
But when their intuition is locked in, they are clear and connected to who they are and what they want. And typically they are able to be aware of what are some of the next key steps for them to take, whatever that may be, whether it’s having a certain conversation, speaking up for themselves. It’s almost like your radar. It’s going to guide you, your internal compass, you’re aware of it, you dialed into it, and it’s guide in you. Whereas if your intuition isn’t locked in, you’re kind of flapping in the wind. To be a lighthouse, you’re going to have to have the intuition locked in and have confidence in yourself to act on it.
Doug Holt 00:38
Hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of the TPM show. I am once again joined. I’ll say great, by my presence master, of course. I’m just going to read what you have here on your [Crosstalk]
Tim Matthews 00:52
Yeah, we all know where that came from, don’t we?
Doug Holt 00:58
Tim Matthews. If you are watching this or if you’re not watching this on YouTube, Tim, let me know. I am number one in his world in a very direct way. Guys, you know, that’s just deciding as well.
Tim Matthews 01:11
[Crosstalk] — If you want.
Doug Holt 01:14
I bet you can. I bet you can. So, Tim, this is going to be a relatively short one. And the reason that I wanted to get us on here is I think this is a topic most men don’t know anything about. And I want to use this episode to set the stage, if you will, because I think it’s an important topic for men and for women that we have a lot of women that listen to this show or watch us on YouTube. So I think it’s an important thing for them to understand as well, especially in today’s society, where being a man can be a problem. Right?
You can be looked at as a threat, if you will. And the concept I want to define today, or at least broach the subject, and it’s a big one. So we’ll just start. Is this concept of grounded masculinity?
Tim Matthews 02:00
I love it. I just smile when I think about it. Yeah, like you said, 15 minutes. So I think we’ll probably have time to touch on it a little bit and hopefully give the listeners a few insights. I just kind of want to preface it. Probably one of the easiest ways to lead into this is the concept that we talk about, DEER versus WOLF. DEER would be the complete opposite of grounded masculinity. WOLF would be a really good example of the embodiment wise, open, loving and fierce.
And for those that don’t know, dear, would be defend explain, excuse and react. And if you listen to the last episode, we spoke about animal experiencing some really monumental shifts in his relationship. And he puts a lot of it down to his ability to be able to develop his grounded masculinity. And as a result, that’s where the artistry comes in. Right? You’re able to become playfully cocky and other little pieces that weave into it because you’re comfortable in who you are. It’s not about bravado, it’s not about being chauvinistic. It’s not about any of those things.
For me, and I’m sure there’s listeners that have maybe got other definitions, but for me, the way that I would define or look at grounded masculinity is a man’s ability to be connected to and grounded in his masculinity with his heart wide open and his intuition locked in. So I think those two bits are really important because it’s easy to be in your masculinity, but with your heart shut, that’s not really what, in my opinion, it is. It’s heart wide open and also your intuition locked in.
Doug Holt 03:47
Let’s talk about that, because I’m just trying to put myself in the listener’s shoes here. Tim, what does it mean, your intuition locked in?
Tim Matthews 03:57
So we all have great ideas at times, right? How many of those do you actually act on? Most people will say few men in the movement will say a lot because we’ve kind of trained them on this. We talk to them about the FES life and other bits and pieces that can kind of stem from this. But when their intuition is locked in, they are connected to. They are clear and connected to who they are and what they want. And typically, they are able to be aware of what are some of the next key steps for them to take, whatever that may be, whether it’s having a certain conversation, speaking up for themselves, whatever it may be. Right?
It’s almost like your radar that’s going to guide you, your internal compass. You’re aware of it, you dialed into it and it’s guiding you. Whereas if your intuition isn’t locked in, you’re kind of. Kind of flapping in the wind. To be a lighthouse, you’re going to have to have your intuition locked in and have confidence in yourself to act on it, because for some guys it’s locked in, but they don’t even have the confidence to act on it.
Doug Holt 05:07
Yeah, I think I agree with you. It’s multifaceted. When I hear the term grounded masculinity, what comes up for me is a strong guy who’s not only strong physically, because that does come up for me, but it has the inner strength of knowing who he is and being good with it when I say good with it, like loving it. So to your point, he’s not being a DEER. And dear is an acronym for the guys that may not be aware. It’s defend, excuse, explain, react. And react is the big one, the R. Right? The R and DEER to me. Because you can be a masculine man and be an a******. And that’s not what we’re talking about here.
Tim Matthews 05:24
Oh, no way. Yeah, no way.
Doug Holt 05:54
This is pretty much the opposite of that and still being masculine, this is kind of the idea of it’s better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. And the warrior in the garden, which they call it the warrior monk, some people talk about that archetype in coaching is being strong and have that inner strength.
So you can be fierce, like the WOLF. WOLF is wise, open, loving and fierce. You can be fierce, but you don’t need to be. Guys who have grounded masculinity. They’re unfuckable with or unfuckable withable, or whatever that term is. You can’t mess with them. You can’t push them over because they’re so secure in themselves. Sure, they have ups and downs, but they’re grounded.
Tim Matthews 06:33
Yeah, this reminds me of. So obviously we have a definition of what alpha means in the movement. Right? I’m going to read it out. I think you nailed it when you described what grounded masculinity is, and it reminded me of this. And I think this sums it up really well. Curious to what you think. So being alpha means a quiet confidence, a quiet self-assurance. You know what you need to do. You know what’s best for your pack. You lead by example, and you’re very comfortable with that. And you have a calming effect.
Doug Holt 07:07
Yeah, I love it.
Tim Matthews 07:09
Yeah, I love it. The whole quiet confidence and quiet self-assurance. Nothing to prove. And when you’ve got the grounded masculinity, you don’t have anything to prove because to your point, you know who you are and you’re comfortable with it. Right? You know what you need to do. That’s the idea. And you know what’s best for your pack. That’s the idea of your intuition. And you lead by example. Obviously, it comes from that place and being very comfortable with that. Right?
You trust yourself, essentially. Then you have a calming effect. I think that’s one that’s really important, be it at home. We talk about being the CFO. To be the CFO, it’s going to be the easiest for you to be the CFO and the most effortless at times when you are more grounded in your masculine. It’s going to be harder if you’re coming from your head, know you’re. Yeah, I think that really sums it up nicely.
Doug Holt 08:05
And so, yeah, what I want to do in the coming episodes, Tim, with you, is dive into practical ways men can tap into this grounded masculinity. Because a lot of know, listening to this one just sounds like a foreign concept. Right? I’m sure. But a lot of guys are struggling in the area of their marriage or in areas of self. Right? We know that from the CDC in America, the number two cause of death for men our age is suicide, and number one is accidental death. Now we hear about stroke and heart attack and all these things, but no, those are three and four. Right?
So when accidental death, a lot of times they believe are suicides and guys like driving off the side of a road so it looks like an accident so their families could get insurance money or what have you. And in the UK, it’s the number one cause of death is suicide, if I’m not mistaken. So this is where we look at, hey, how do we get grounded masculinity? So men can feel more grounded in their world. Right? And the areas that you’re struggling, when you feel stuck or you feel lost, it really can allow you to pull yourself out of that rut.
Tim Matthews 09:11
Big time. Yeah. Because those moments can still happen at times even when you grounded. Right? But the time that you spend in them is so much shorter and the ability to come out of it is so much easier and so much faster because you don’t have that internal wall that’s raging inside of you that typically exists prior to experiencing this.
Doug Holt 09:34
It’s very true. And when I’ve seen this apply to guys who start delving into this idea of grounded masculinity, what seems to happen to them, Tim, is they become leaders in their family. Their kids start to step in line, for lack of better term. What I mean by that is their kids aren’t as reactionary. They’re more respectful of their father and their mother, typically, but specifically their father and also their wife. Their wife looks up to them, looks up to them more because they’re grounded. They’re safer.
We’ve talked about this when Erin was on the podcast. We also have Marie on there who’s a doctor. She said the same thing, like, women need to feel safe emotionally. This is a thing we’ve been teaching the guys for years, and now we have women coming on here and going, yes, we need to feel safe, but it’s not physically safe, energetically safe. And that’s the word grounded masculinity. They want a masculine man, but they also don’t want to be scared of him, so to speak. Right?
They wanted a man who is going to be a protector and a provider. And most of the men that listen to this nail the providing thing, they got that. No problem. We got that, you know, I joke around, a lot of us guys would be like, if s*** hits the fan, I’ll get a job at Starbucks, a job at know, whatever. I’ll work eight jobs if I have to. It’s the energetic stuff we haven’t been taught. And there’s a way to do this in a masculine way. You don’t have to be sobbing your eyes out every single day, know, watching hallmark movies or anything like that. That’s not what this is about. This is about being a masculine man. Right?
We have guys that are in special forces, martial arts. We have guys that are just accountant. We have guys all over it. It doesn’t matter. You naturally have more testosterone than women do. You’re naturally a masculine man, and society has just stripped that away from you. And we’re going to help you get it back with these conversations.
Tim Matthews 11:21
I love it. I’m very excited for these. We had lots of conversations about this. We teach it a lot with the guys. Right? Over the years, yes, we’ve dived into this a lot with them. We just haven’t chosen to speak about it publicly as much. But to your point, men that come from all different walks of life, they go through this journey, if you will. And it’s one of the things. The Activation Method is a big piece of it, too, but it forms part of live like a king system, The Alpha Reset and such. So, yeah, I’m excited to speak about it more. I think it’s going to help a lot of people.
Doug Holt 11:56
Yeah. So what I’m going to encourage the guys to do, and this is kind of a weird question, right? So for you guys that journal and you guys that actually listen to me at the end of these podcasts and take action, for you guys, you one percenters out there, I want you to write your own definition of masculinity. What is a masculine man? Not what society is calling it today. I don’t care about that. I want to know your definition. What do you define a masculine man?
And sometimes for me, Tim, what I’ll do is I’ll look at role models, and if I can’t find a role model, maybe an actor who’s portraying what I think is a masculine man, an example and a reason why a lot of guys are attracted to that movie. Gladiator, right? Here’s a badass dude who doesn’t have to brag about being badass, and he’s doing all this to get back to his family, right? You get the idea. I don’t want to give any spoilers. It’s not exactly that, but he’s got the energy within sight of him. He’s a masculine man. He’s quiet and he owns his stuff.
And men gravitate towards that movie because I think that’s an archetype of grounded masculinity. He doesn’t get shaken too much by all the things that are happening with the emperor and everything else that’s going on. He’s steady in his movement. But I want you guys to write what your own definition of masculinity is, because as we go through society and we see so many things, so many social media reports, newscasts, talking about how men are evil or bad, and they’re not all to that level, but there’s a lot of undertones that men aren’t good. Right?
We’re the cause of all the problems, and I just don’t believe that to be true. I think there are men who cause problems just like there’s women who cause problems. But really defining this area of masculinity is critical, and especially if you have kids, we need to define this not only for ourselves, but also for our daughters, so they understand what a masculine man really is and how a masculine man can play a part in their lives, but also for our sons. Where are they going to grow up to be? There’s no more rite of passage for a lot of these guys. I know we’re working at one at The Ranch that we’re going to be hopefully hosting pretty soon for men and boys. Men and their kids, right? I don’t want to call them boys because some of these guys coming are young men, but you get the idea here.
So define that for yourself. What is masculinity? And as we go through these podcasts, if you guys are interested, Tim and I will dive into this subject in much greater detail. We’ve been talking a lot in the last couple of years about relationships, but we really want to open this up. Talking more about business grounded masculinity, the idea, concept of self as it applies to you guys.
So, gentlemen, I’d love to hear from you. I know Tim would as well. So if you’re in the movement, you are an alumni, go to our private community and leave something there. And if you’re not in the movement yet, we do have a, you know, look, it’s Facebook, but it is a free group where you can go in and you can leave comments, people. Basically what they do is they culminate those and they get those to Tim and I. So we can help, but we do have some of our coaches that are in there as well as some of our advisors.
So go over to Facebook, search for the powerful man. You’ll find it. It’s for business owners. You will have to apply getting in there. We do have a program coming out for non-business owners, hopefully at the end of this quarter, guys, and we’ll be announcing that where you guys can get in there, because we want to help everybody. We’re on a worldwide movement, we’re on a mission, and we really want to provide as much value as we can. So, Tim, as always, man, thanks for being here. I’m excited. Unfortunately, you can’t get back in the country, so we can’t do this live yet. But hopefully in a couple of months we’ll get that back. But in the meanwhile, it’s great to have you back in saddle, buddy.
Tim Matthews 15:24
Likewise, brother.
Doug Holt 15:25
Gentlemen, in the moment of insight, take massive action. We’ll see you next time on the TPM show. All right, guys, that’s a wrap for this episode. But as I always say in the moment of insight, take massive action. You see, there are two types of men that listen to a podcast like this, those that go on from one podcast or show to another just hoping things are going to change and realizing that they’re going to be in the same place month after month, year after year.
You see, I was this guy so I completely get it. You may just not be ready. But there’s also a second man, a second man that listens to a show just like this. And this is a guy who takes massive action so they can shorten the learning curve, compress time, and get RESULTS to be the WOLF. See, WOLF is an acronym for Wise, Open, Loving, and Fierce.
Now ask yourself, which one am I? And just be honest with yourself there. And there’s no judgment on my end. But if you’re ready to move from deactivated DEER mode, which is Defend, Excuse, Explain, and React to activated WOLF, Wise, Open, Loving and Fierce, then go over to thepowerfulman.com/grow. And go there now. In fact, I’ll make it super easy for you. I will even put the link right in the description here so you can just click it and go over there now to learn more. Guys, in the moment of insight, take massive action. Go from deactivated to activated, because like I said, life is too short for average and I’ll see you on the next episode!
