How to Release the Brakes

Episode #383

What happens when you take the brakes off your life?

Where in your life are you still holding back?

No matter what level you’re playing at, the idea of Releasing the Brake always resonates. It can be tricky to know whether it’s something that you just don’t want to do…or if you’re holding back.

The excuses in the stories that we tell ourselves are part of the brake. All too often we have our emergency brake on – and that leads to us living a life that’s defined by dragging and grinding.

When you release the brakes in one area of your life, that same release begins to happen in other areas as well.

Take a quick inventory in all Five Territories, think about what you can do about it, and take an action.

In this episode, we are going to talk about the idea of releasing the brakes, what can you do to achieve that release, where you’re holding back, and what can it do for you when you finally take the brakes off.

————-

Hungry for more?

Head over to our BONUS page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man. 

Also listen on:

iTunes
Sticher
Spotify
YouTube

————-

Episode Transcript

Doug Holt 0:00  

As I started to envision this idea of releasing the brakes and the image that was coming to my head, it felt amazing. Suddenly, I was super excited to meet this guy. And it was that moment of shift in that theory of releasing the brakes that hit me with inspiration. Where else am I not releasing the brakes? Where else does something look like? I don’t want to do this or this; it doesn’t feel right. And all it takes is that slight paradigm shift to push me over the edge. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host, Tim, The Powerful Man Matthews. What’s going on, brother?

Tim Matthews 0:43  

I’m doing well. We have a quarterly planning session on Friday. So today, I was doing some prep for that. And it was cool to review the quarter and see all the amazing things we have achieved, obviously, professionally, because I reviewed it professionally. But yeah, I mean, The Alpha Reset that we did. The email that we received from one of the guys’ wives last week. The guys just seem to be crushing it. It was, yeah, it was a great quad. But the interesting thing was, I didn’t realize how good of a quarter was until I took that time to reflect, which is obvious because of weekly reviews and daily reviews and all that kind of stuff. Let’s go; there’s a great reminder of Wow. Flying a bird’s eye view sometimes and just taking that moment to zoom out and check-in is just so valuable.

Doug Holt 1:45  

It is. I mean, that’s why we have as part of the deep the alpha decompression. But yeah, for weekly, monthly, and quarterly. It’s so easy not to do it, right? It’s kind of like that idea that you could have the best day of your life, and you’re driving down the road, and someone cuts you off and gives you the finger. And it’s you coming home just friggin pissed. You’re mad the rest of the night because that forgets all the amazing stuff. Kind of what happened that day. And it’s especially for men, and it’s so easy. We see it all the time with some of the guys we coach if they forget all the amazing wins that they’re having if they’re not doing the reflection. 

Tim Matthews 2:22  

Well, and also, it’s kind of like the double-edged sword of being an achiever, right? Most of the guys listening to this, the guys we work with, yeah, the class themselves as achievers. And yes, you achieve so many things. So many great things happen, then, so you Zoom out and wow, stack them and realize, wow, holy crap, it’s so easy to lose sight of them and just get swept up in the date today. So it’s, yeah, it was great. I enjoyed it filled me with a lot of energy this morning.

Doug Holt 2:58  

I love it. Well, speaking of energy, what I want to talk about today is something you and I and Arthur, actually one of our head coaches, has talked about was the idea of releasing the brakes. And I shared this with you in a message earlier this morning, and I wanted to share it with everybody else because I also want to expand upon it. So let me give some backstory here for everybody that’s listening. And then we’ll dive into it. So Gosh, a week ago or so, I got a coffee request. And so the coffee request was to meet with one of the chairs for Vistage. So Vistage is a business group that a lot of guys probably know about or heard about. That’s in there. And the chair asked me to get coffee with him in Bend, Oregon. So I’d live just outside of Bend. So last night, I scheduled it, and I said sure I’d get together with you. And I scheduled it. And last night I was like, Oh, I think I’m going to cancel this. I don’t; there’s I don’t see I’m not going to share a relic, and I’ve been asked to be involved in Vistage before when I lived in Santa Barbara, California. 

So I thought, man, this is just not going to be for me. And I laid out shorts and sandals, and I thought I’d just go super comfortable. I have a quick coffee with this guy, probably a great guy. I’ll chat with them. And then I’ll move off to the other things that I want to do. Right. And so last night, Tim, I’m thinking, one, okay, is this professional to come in sandals and shorts to a guy who’s requesting to meet me regarding my business acumen? It’s like, do I want to do this right. Is this as we talked about? Is this a hell yes for me because it is about a 35 minute drive each way. And I was sitting there, and I even went as far as to reach out to my brother, who has one of my brothers anyway, I was like, I just talked to him about it and like, hey, look, this is what I think something just doesn’t feel right to me. And he replied, and he said, hey, look, it’s hot up there. And this doesn’t sound like it’s really important. Do you per se, and do it go for it just if you’d meet with a client this way, then dress that way. So I went to bed. Tim and I had the shorts laid out because we’re recording this right now. And then immediately after pretty much, we have another meeting, and then I’m going to take off and head down there. And this morning, I got up, and the concept of releasing your brakes came to me. And I said, geez, man, what would Doug do if you release the brakes? And it was almost like that, a snap of the fingers, like one of those insights that came to me. 

And immediately, I changed my focus; what would I do? Well, what I do, I would dress the way I feel comfortable in, I’d wear a nice pair of jeans, a nice button-up and some decent shoes that I can walk around in because I want to walk around the bend downtown Anyway down by the waterfront is just absolutely beautiful down there. I look good; I feel good. And take some time and do a few errands I’d like to do and enjoy myself. There are a couple of phone calls I want to make. And as I started to envision this idea of releasing the brakes and the image that was coming to my head, it felt amazing. Suddenly, not surprisingly, I was super excited to meet this guy, like, wow, I can meet this guy be great. I’m sure there’s a lot of things I can learn from him. I can share what I do with him. This will be fantastic. He’s running, he’s chairing a business thing, you and I, Tim, we do a ton of business coaching. And as we share that in common, this is going to be amazing. And it was that moment of shift in that theory of releasing the brakes that hit me with inspiration. So then, and this is why I’m sharing this with you, Tim, and the rest of the listeners, I started thinking, where else? Am I not releasing the breaks? Where else does something look like? I don’t want to do this, or this doesn’t feel right. And all it takes is that little paradigm shift.

Tim Matthews 7:00  

To push me over the edge. It’s a great concept; right can change your paradigm by asking yourself the right question. And it’s the power of who you surround yourself with as well. Because a lot of this came up in the conversations, didn’t it between you and I all three of us. Does it always resonate? Doesn’t it, no matter what level you’re playing, the idea of releasing the brakes, always resonates, and yet to ask yourself that question. I love that you arrived at that point of real excitement and inspiration. Because sometimes it can be tricky, right to know whether it’s something that you don’t want to do, or you are just holding back, right. And the reality is, if you if the brakes are on in an area of your life, like let’s say this meeting, then, as you said, the chances are there will be the brakes will be on for whoever it is in another area. And also, the same is true that when you release the brakes, you start to release the brakes in other areas as well. And it is a powerful concept, that feeling of lightness like yesterday, funnily enough, you and I are in the conversation of releasing the brakes, keep reminding them, prompting each other and pushing each other which inspires me. 

And so yesterday, I went to a kickboxing class. So now I’ve been thinking about Hey, should I know and similar thing, I’m like, Okay, well, okay, I could go there, it’s at 9 am. I’ll take my laptop, and I’ll go and work from this little coffee shop I’ve wanted to go to. I’ll be able to go there for a couple of hours in glorious sunshine. And it just turned the idea of waking up early to go to this class into an experience that stretched beyond the class itself. I went to bed a little bit later on Monday night and set my alarm for earlier than usual Tuesday morning. And like when I was setting it, I was like, ah, but I felt the excitement as well, for what I was waking up to in the morning because it became more than just the class it became something that okay if I release the brakes, what does the experience look like? And as a result, yesterday, I just fell on the fire. 

Doug Holt 09:23

That’s awesome. I mean, you start to develop that, and you get that snowball-like effect that you’re talking about. It carried over for me as well, and I’ll explain why it’s important to the listeners because of the energy I went into today’s my day off and as I have a strained quadriceps, leg muscle. And so I went in and talked to a friend of mine who is a fitness professional. And he said, Hey, try some light squats. So I went into my garage, I have a gym there, and I went in there first. I went for a little light jog. And then I got into the bar and did a couple of squats, and it’s like I feel stiff. And then again, boom. Little voice in my What would it look like if you release the brakes, and almost instantly the depth of my squat? Guys that workout understands this, and the fluidity of the squat came super easy to me. And I started repping out, and I said, hey, let’s add some weight, add some weight, no problem with the leg at all. 

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. But I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing, like, there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it. I get it. Go over right now to ThePowerfulMan.com/freedom to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies, ten men just like you who have found the solution and found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/freedom right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Doug Holt 10:59  

It’s that concept of releasing the brakes. And then came. Well, what next? And I started doing these little things. I looked in the garage, and I saw these things. Do we have car tires, right? So we live in a mountain town. So you have seasonal car tires, and they just annoyed me, and they’ve been there for a while. And next thing, I’m picking these things up. And I’m putting them where I’ve wanted to put them for a while, again, releasing the brakes, things that stop us or prevent us. Now I know you, Tim you talk to our advisors writes the alumni who get on phone calls with the guys, and also made me think about how many men out there listen to this podcast, and have an excuse of why they haven’t done something, maybe it’s signing up for The Activation Method, maybe it’s going to The Alpha Reset, maybe it’s joining a gym, or maybe it’s finally taking better care of themselves. And they have an excuse. And that excuse is the right break excuse in the story that we tell ourselves is part of the break. And then, with the analogy that works for me, you can imagine you have a high-performance sports car. You take whatever car you want. Recently, I got a copy of the ROB report. And I love to send you this to Tim, and I will try to get a copy sent to you in the UK. But I didn’t want to ship it there. So I’ll have to figure it out. But I have the best of the best. And part of that is cars. So imagine the best sports car you can imagine. And imagine you get into this car, and it just feels good. this thing can move, and you’re just getting ready to go. You turn on the engine, and you hear it hurts. that perfect nice car, if you’ve ever been to a good car, it’s just got a different field in most cars, and then you go ahead and step on the gas. 

But the car doesn’t go anywhere. So you hit the gas harder, and it moves. But it feels like there’s a drag; it doesn’t feel like a sports car anymore. It feels like you’re driving a pickup truck or a van, something along those lines. And that’s what a lot of us men are doing throughout life. We have this sports car, which is us, right who we are as men as powerful men, yet we have this emergency brake on. And its emergency brake causes the sports car, which is us in this life that we’re living, it causes us to have dragged. Now I know The Alpha Reset; I think most of the guys who’ve been to one would say, yeah, that’s an easy way to release the brake. Right? That’s a mechanic going in. And there’s a break; let me pull that out. Right. And so it’s not an issue for you. However, we wet the emergency brake in all kinds of areas in our lives. For the rest of us, it makes me reflect, and the guys listening and asking you to reflect on this as well. And take a moment as You’re listening to Tim and I talk about this: where in your life are you holding back? Where in your life? Are you pulling the emergency brake as an excuse, rather than letting your sports car really go full out, right? You’re driving on the road; the sign says 25 miles an hour, yet it’s clear straight away with no one around. Why don’t you put your foot on the gas a little bit, put your foot on the gas and release that emergency brake and still go 10 miles an hour, get that sucker up to 80? Right, and get it going. And that’s the feeling I had this morning. And it’s continuing into this conversation. 

And I hope that my hope is in sharing this with some guys who are going to take some action. Like I said, maybe it’s for a couple of you guys. It’s like finally joining the gym, or maybe you’ve made it an excuse like I don’t want to spend money on a personal trainer. Yet you have the income to do it. Maybe for some of you guys, it’s Look, I don’t want to update my wardrobe. yet you walk around the house in sweats, wondering what and old t-shirts wondering why your wife doesn’t want to drop to her knees when you walk in the room or things of that nature. Or maybe it’s that your marriage isn’t working as well as you’d like it to. And there can be more, yet you haven’t gotten the phone to talk to one of our advisors about The Activation Method, a proven method for men just like us. Or maybe it’s something different right for you. Maybe You’re just a yes man at work, rather than actually speaking up for what you want and calling things out properly. Whatever it is, guys, I want you to think about those areas. And we use the five territories at The Powerful Man: self-health, wealth, relationships, and business. Those five territories to start with encompassing the majority of your life to focus on. And where are you just mentally? If you’re at the gym listening to this, you’re driving. Take quick inventory on each of those areas. So I’ll say I’m again, self-health, wealth, relationships, business, where are you not releasing the brakes? And then what can you do right now, this moment of insight, right? What can you do right now? Maybe it’s, like I said, to pick up the phone, call the nearest gym and say, I want to book a console with the trainer. Maybe that’s it for you.

Maybe it’s going, Hey, I’m going to message. Frank, Orion, one of our advisors, has been through the program, and I’m just going to get on a phone call with them and find out this is the right fit for me. Or maybe it’s something else for you. But whatever it is, you have to take action. And that’s the key. And the difference for me this morning was I recognized that insight. Whoa, my thing. As silly as it sounds, I was going to wear shorts, sandals, and a T-shirt to a business meeting just because my story was, I don’t care. Like, I’m not getting anything out of this. I’m just this guy who wants to meet with me. Cool, right? I have no skin in the game, or what have you. I’m just going to go ultra-comfortable. But yeah, when I had that paradigm shift, I was still going ultra-comfortable. But I’m going to look good. And all of a sudden it made me feel good. And it was just like releasing that emergency brake and letting that high-performance sports car do its thing.

Tim Matthews 16:45

Now one other thing I’d like the guys to do is set an alarm that goes off on the phone every 3 hours, starting at 9 am, to 9, 12, 3, 5. I think it’d be useful for 8 pm as well. I just want you to have that alarm, ask you the question. Are you releasing the brakes? When that alarm goes off, I want you to take a momentary pause, just even for 10 seconds and reflect. Am I releasing the brakes? What would I be doing right now if I released the brakes? And if you’re doing what you think you would be doing and great, you’ve released the bugs? And you can answer that question with Yes, I am. But if then, you get to shift to do whatever it looks like when you release the brakes. This is a very easy thing to do. Easy not to do. But it’s almost going to be like having your little mini coach in your pocket that’s going to prompt you with something. And the guys that use these alarms in the inner circle and The Brotherhood often get great results. 

Doug Holt 17:54

They are great advice. So guys, give that a shot. And I’m always going to encourage you guys; maybe it’s your morning routine. Maybe that’s where you’re holding on to the brakes. You need a morning routine. We teach the Alpha Rise & Shine. If you guys want to see the morning routine that Tim and I do, how it works and get insights like these, go over to our Facebook group. It’s a free Facebook group that is private, so people can’t see that you’re a member.  They can see what you post, and I know how that feels. But you can go in there. And I’ll put a post up there this week where you guys could comment. So if you want to see what Tim and I do and what the other men do with the Alpha Rise & Shine, we’ll share that with you. We’ll share what’s going on there. I’m going to encourage you guys also to post in there, and I’ll continue to share if you guys want to know where I’m releasing the brakes; you let me know where you’re releasing the brakes. Right. This is a community we call a movement of men around the world as it truly is. We have over 2000 members in the Facebook community, but over 40,000 people are involved in the movement in some way or another guy. This is a top chance for you to step up, turn that ignition on that sports car, release the brakes and let that baby fly. It’s like the image I have is putting your head out the window and just really feeling the wind as it brushes through your skin. He’s you safely and just really just hit the gas and feel the power, and it’s the power inside of you. And that’s what I want for you. So Tim always appreciates you being here, man. Given insights to these guys. It’s always a highlight of my day, gentlemen, as I always say, take action. We’ll see you next time. powerful man show

THe latest and Greatest

How To Be There For Your Partner

In this episode, we are going to talk about how to make your partner feel more valuable in your relationship and what to do to evaluate your decisions in the past. Love your partner in the best way you can. Start building a healthier relationship – because life is happier when we are living it with our most precious people.

Read More »

How Do I Achieve Work-Life Balance?

Today we’re discussing some “best practices” on how to execute your priorities in life. Be versatile in implementing your plans and always give it your best shot – because you can do greater things in life.

Read More »

When Do You Call It A Day?

In this episode, we talk about when to end the relationship, how to make a wiser decision, and what to do to value yourself more. Be firm according to your boundaries and protect your worth.

Read More »

Are you ready to change your life?

Get clear. Get unstuck.

Develop a passionate marriage.

Be a superhero to your kids.

And be proud of the man you see in the mirror.

Sign up now to start the rest of your life.

Reignite
Your
Relationship

Get this FREE Reignite Cheatsheet from The Powerful Man! Put the spark back into your life, your relationship, and your happiness NOW.