Groundhog’s Day – Repeating The Past

Episode #301

Are the complaints you have the same as those you had last year or 2 years ago?

Are you repeating patterns of the past?

Where are we?

Until we get honest with ourselves, we’re not going anywhere.

The change should start within you. It starts with being honest about where you are currently. Take an assessment to see if you’re repeating mistakes of the past.

Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that creates it.” If you want to make sure this year is different, change your filter and shift your thinking. The fastest way is to hire somebody, find a coach or a mentor to give that outside perspective.

In this episode, you will learn the importance of being honest with yourself about where you are currently and the value of getting a fresh perspective from a coach or mentor to change your thinking.


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Head over to our https://www.thepowerfulman.com/the-alpha-reset/ page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man. 

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00  

Are the complaints that you have the same as you had last year? More importantly, are the complaints you have now the same as you had two years ago? Or the conversations you’re having with your wife? The same as you’ve had the last two years? Is your bank account the same as you’ve had the last two years? Are your relationships with your friends and your co-workers and your kids, is it the same? What about your health? Is it the same or even worse? It’s because we want to be honest with ourselves. Where are we? until we get honest with ourselves, we are not going anywhere. You’re gonna spin the wheel.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I’m your host Doug Holt with my co-host. Tim “The Powerful Man” Matthews. Lovin the background, bud. I saw the sunset over the ocean behind you. Your right shoulder and your left shoulder are looking good.

Tim Matthews  0:50  

Yeah, it’s amazing. It’s an amazing location. The ocean, as you know, right, is right there—such a great move.

Doug Holt  1:00  

Yeah, I think it was a smart move. Especially if you’re gonna be, COVID times and what have you, especially what’s going on in the UK with lockdowns? I mean, you guys are in a beautiful sanctuary.

Tim Matthews  1:10  

Yeah. I was locked out in paradise.

Doug Holt  1:13  

Exactly. You’re gonna be locked down. Not a paradise is the place you want to be.

Tim Matthews  1:17  

Makes zero difference to us about locked down.

Doug Holt  1:19  

Yeah. Well, speaking of your change, let’s talk about the opposite. Here we are, Tim coming into week two of the New Year. Now, everybody likes to crap on New Year’s resolutions. All the big names like to make fun of them, etc. I happen to know some of these guys personally, and they still set new year’s resolutions. So what they’re saying to the public and what they’re doing might not be the same. They don’t call it New Year’s resolutions. But here we are into week two. Week two, most people are still going strong. Maybe a stumble or two, right? But they usually pick it up now. Week three and four are from your background in the fitness industry is where people fall short, right? January and notorious gym memberships are through the roof. Gyms are packed well, pre COVID, right. But supplement companies with everything they do a large percentage of their annual revenue during January. During February, liquor sales go up. Fast food sales go up. They take a dip, Tim it’s statistically true in January and February. Usually, we look at advertising, whether it be Facebook, traditional advertising, Google ads media placement, you’re going to see mostly fitness and health. Take the key lion’s share of the real estate. In February, it’s going to be alcohol and fast food. We’re gonna take the lion’s share. Right. So today, I want to talk about Groundhog’s Day. Are you repeating patterns of the past? There are a few ways you can look at this guy’s right. Are the complaints that you have the same as you had last year? More importantly, are the complaints you have now the same as you had two years ago? Are the conversations you’re having with your wife the same as you’ve had the last two years? Is the sexless marriage the same as you’ve had the last two years? Is your bank account? The same as you’ve had the last two years? Are your relationship with your friends and your co-workers, and your kids the same? What about your health? Is it the same or even worse? We want to get honest with ourselves. Right? Where are we? Until we get honest with ourselves? We were not going anywhere. Right? You’re going to spin the wheels. Here we are, week two of the New Year. Right, when we’re recording, this will be released. Right? We’re in week two. Where are you? What’s going on? Is it still not the right time for you to make the change to jump in? There’s still too much money to invest in the class, the course, the trip, whatever it may be for you. What we do is use excuses to protect ourselves. Ah, I fell off paleo, carnivore gasps whatever diet it is because of dah, dah, dah—tomorrow, which is untold. Tomorrow, I’ll do it. Therefore today is good. I’ll have that other cookie. Yeah, my wife and I still aren’t talking. I blew up at her. Things are still not good. It’s been a couple of years, and they haven’t been good, to be honest. Which means it’s been a long time for her. Statistically, we’re approaching divorce day, by the way, guys. It’s been longer for her. But yeah, now’s not the time to get serious about working on me or my marriage. Right next week, month year will be the better time because look, Tim, it’s COVID kids are in school, or the kids are in school. I’m too young. I’m, too, whatever the excuse may be, guys. It’s just time to be honest, and get real. We lie to ourselves when we lie to anybody. Tim and I create the space, and it’s time for you. So now it’s your turn to be honest with yourself. If I’m trying to get in shape, Tim can’t do the push-ups for me. Trust me, I’ve asked him, does it work? I need to do it myself. And that starts with me being honest about where I am currently taking an assessment of where you are currently, and is this a pattern? Are you repeating mistakes of the past?

Tim Matthews  5:35  

I’m, this sounds cliche. And this isn’t as to be a plug for what we do. But honestly, my life made exponential changes. When I invested in my first coach, looking back, what I know, now the coaching was okay, but then it was like, wow, because I suddenly had somebody to point out my blind spots that I couldn’t see. And it’s just the reality we cannot see our blind spots. It’s like if you guys listen, if you have kids, right, there’s a little bit different, I guess. But you’ll see the kids acting a certain way, maybe teenagers, they may not know they’re doing it, but you can see if you’re outside looking in. Same if you’ve got employees or staff or whatever, right. It’s just the way it tends to be when you’re on the outside looking in, and you see things very differently. Because you’re not involved in the story. There’s not as much emotion attached to all that kind of ego playing tricks on you to keep you safe and protect you from the truth. So that was really what started to change things for me. I used to do all the right things. I listened to audiobooks driving from meeting to meeting, I would set the new New Year’s resolutions, I would journal I do things, but it was all coming from the same place. There’s a great quote by Einstein, and I love it: “You can’t solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it.” Right? So if you go into this year, and the answer to Doug’s question is you’re having the same conversations, and you’re saying, Yeah, but this year is going to be different. And you haven’t invested into honestly, somebody to give you the tools, our perspective, then honestly, guys, the reality is an issue isn’t going to be different. Because how, how are you going to change your thinking without those things? If you’ve been listening to audiobooks, if you’ve been listening to podcasts, if you’ve been reading, and then I invite you to consider the fact that this isn’t about you doing more learning.

Doug Holt  8:08  

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing, like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it? I get it to go over right now to https://www.thepowerfulman.com/bonus/ to discover the system that other people in business like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies, ten men just like you who have found the solution and found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you. Go over to https://www.thepowerfulman.com/bonus/ right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Tim Matthews  8:49  

You might think, well, Tim, I’m going to do my learning, that’s gonna change thinking by default going to get a different result? Well, that’s not really what we’re saying here because the learnings are still going to run through the same filter. So that’s where outside counsel’s perspective is huge. It’s leverage. It’s the tiny hinge that swings the large door. And whether you go and find a new group of friends, maybe people that have achieved what you want to achieve, and hang about them and ask them how they ended it, sometimes those people can be invested in your growth. And sometimes, you hear stories of wealthy, successful people, not to be rich, but successful people who take people under their wing, right? Maybe you’ll get lucky, and maybe you’ll find someone like that, and that’d be great because it’s the stories of those kinds of people and that they’re invested in your growth because that’s the key. The other thing here when you invest in me, it gets me invested in the coach. I then became invested. Because it was a stretch for Then really it was only I think it’s $10,000 for the year like it was for one-on-one like it was nothing in comparison. So our coach in six figures for the right one; back then, it was our investment in TennCare. The sell. The point being is, but then it felt like a big deal. It was a stretch. And that was a good thing because it was a stretch. I then had skin in the game, that then men, I was going to act on, the coaching advice. But the other thing that happened is because I’d invested, she also had skin in the game. Right? So usually, that’s a recipe for success. By the end of the coaching together, the great thing was that TennCare was no longer an issue. It was more of a drop in the ocean that seen an ROI because she pushed me, and it was a woman, and she pushed me to do things that were very uncomfortable for me. And honestly, the suggestions that she made at the time, I was like, no, that will work. No, you’re wrong, try it and give it in. You know what? It was right because she had a proven track record of helping people how I wanted to hire the right person. So again, guys, I would never have thought of doing those things. Because they’re out of my paradigm now out my filter would have blocked them. So if you want to make sure that this year is a different change that filter, and look at “Okay, how can I change my thinking here?” The fast way is through cutting, but I don’t know what you like; maybe you don’t like the fast way, like take a slower approach and get slow results and see slow progress. I don’t know. If you’re anything like the guys we work with, you value your time and energy and want to get there as quickly as possible. And the fastest way, honestly, is just through hiring somebody or finding a coach or a mentor to give that outside perspective.

Doug Holt  12:10  

Yeah, I mean, success leaves clues, right? If you want to cut the time, you get somebody who’s been there, done that. And more importantly, right, it’s like, it’s like getting in shape, I keep using that analogy. If you want to get in shape, you don’t necessarily go to the guy who’s got the biggest biceps in the gym, and it doesn’t mean he knows how to get you in shape. Or you go to someone who has a proven track record of getting other people like you in shape. Right, that is the key and going through there. And so Groundhog’s Day, right, whatever that thing is that you’re stumbling on. Or we had a previous product called podcasts about alcohol, right? Drugs, alcohol, sedation, whatever you want to call it, drink a little drink smoke a little smoke, right that Eric church song. And so with that, right, you want to find somebody or something, who’s successfully managed that and gone through it. That’s not our specialty at The Powerful Man at all. We have an open disc discussion with a bunch of guys or alumni. They’ve been through the programs. But you want to find someone who has done that. Or if all of a sudden you want to become a great football player, right? You find an amazing football coach. Right? You don’t go out and go; okay, I’m going to get an audiobook on becoming a better football player. Right? Oh, that’s okay. You’ll probably learn a couple of things. Gotta, you apply them, and are you doing them? Right, etc. Just it’s not the same or a book. What have you? You want to find someone to shorten that gap. But I think even the most important thing, first and foremost, is where you are? We’re two weeks in. Almost everybody I talked to who does not set new year’s resolutions sets goals on the New Year. Right? That’s a friggin resolution. I gotta tell you, whatever it is, New Year’s is a good time to take stock of where you’re at. Often, if we do take stock, we go. Yeah, I still want to learn Spanish. Play the guitar. What is it for you? And if you’ve had this complaint or this goal for more than two years, throw it away. This could be your marriage, throw it away, or do something drastic to work on it. Life’s too short, guys. Life is too short. If you’ve been complaining about your relationship, your marriage, if it’s not where you want to be for more than two years, get into The Activation Method. Today, not tomorrow. Today. If you’ve been complaining about your health, fitness, right, get into the gym or on a program today. Not tomorrow, today. Right? If you’ve been complaining about your business and got the same bank account, or what have you got into a program to teach you about managing your finances today, not tomorrow. You get where I’m going, it’s going to get annoying, but I’m right. If you say ah after this podcast, I’m gonna. I’m gonna write this on my calendar for tomorrow. No! Do it today. Book the appointment today with a coaching book that the counselor Has you is The Activation Method. You’re going to talk to alumni, probably Franco or Ben. Amazing guys. They’re not sales guys. They’re just advisors. That’s it for going to the gym. Just have a conversation with somebody about what’s possible. Hey, have you worked with somebody like me before? I’m a 43-year-old middle-aged guy with two kids. I’m 11 month-year-olds, and I’m not sleeping. Have you helped a guy like me before? And they say yeah, show me cool. Awesome. It should be like, yeah, I’ve helped a lot of guys like you or no. Maybe they’re honest; that’s even better. But make sure they’ve helped people like you cut the gap, right and cut the gap and cut the crap. And taking action is the key here.

Tim Matthews  15:48  

Yeah, for sure.

Doug Holt  15:49  

So gentlemen, if this is your first time with us, first of all, welcome. Welcome to the movement we call The Powerful Man. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/bonus. That’s ThePowerfulMan.com/bonus, and you get free training. It’s free. There are no expectations or anything. The only expectation is for you to do the work in training right to get some immediate results. If you’ve been with us for a while, thank you for coming back. We also asked you to leave a review if you haven’t done so yet. And if you’ve left a review, share this episode with a friend, right show me care. We’re making this movement big. We’re putting a spotlight on men in the men’s movement and leading the way for powerful men just like you. Alright, guys, that’s it for us, The Powerful Man show. We’ll see you next time. Have an amazing week.