The Powerful Man Show

Drink A Little Drink… Smoke A Little Smoke

Episode #300

What role does alcohol play in your life?

What triggers you to drink alcohol?

The potential problem here is not the drink. It’s what you’re using the drink for.

When drinking becomes unconscious or a way to “hideout” and you repeat that pattern, that’s when it becomes a problem.

Women use alcohol to open up and receive, while men do it to release. Men drink to liberate their egos. When you’re doing it unconsciously, you’ll soon lose your perspective…and before you know it, your edge.

You have to be conscious about it, recognize your triggers, get clarity around it, and do something.

In this episode, you will learn the importance of knowing the triggers of drinking alcohol and the importance of being conscious of doing it.

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00  

If you think of drinking too much, you’re automatically an alcoholic. He drinks two beers every night, and he’s an alcoholic. Or he’s trying to take 30 days off drinking, and he must be an alcoholic; he must have a problem. And the interesting thing with this group, what we’re finding is most of these guys don’t drink that much. But they want to know what role alcohol plays in their life. Are they in control? Or is alcohol in control? Are the things that we’re doing in our life adding to what we want to do or subtracting from? 

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host Tim, “The Powerful Man” Matthews. What’s going on, brother?

Tim Matthews  0:42  

Yeah, I’m in a new room; hopefully, the connection lasts. I was rather stressed in the last episode as we were.

Doug Holt  0:51  

It’s all good, man. I’m sure the guys all get it, especially in COVID. Now, you and I have been working together remotely for like three years, maybe roughly, or something like that, somewhere in that ballpark. But nowadays, everybody gets the idea. I posted something on social media, just saying, look, because I had someone I work with come to my house and work out of here behind me a couple of days a week. And she let her dog in, the dogs running down. I’m on a recording. So I’m like, “Alright, I need one of those big on-air type deals to go out there. There are all kinds of things that happened with COVID. And it just makes it interesting. But we’re moving on, and we always want to hear your voice, my friend. So glad to have you back.

Tim Matthews  1:39  

Yeah, let’s do it.

Doug Holt  1:42  

Speaking of COVID, there’s a topic I want to bring to the table, which I think is interesting. And that’s why we got the title for drinking a little drink, smoke a little smoke. It’s a song, and it’s a country song here in the States, you probably never heard of. And I don’t even know the name of it. And I’m certainly not going to try to sing it for everybody. Because I wouldn’t want to butcher it. But one of the things that I’ve seen for COVID, especially well COVID exaggerated for many guys, but you already know some of this, Tim. But one of the things that we’ve done within The Brotherhood within the movement, we invited all alumni into it to do a 30 day, you know, basically, not only a 30 day of no alcohol or substances, right? For 30 days, but also a deep dive into what are your triggers? Why are you drinking? Where does this fit into your life? And I think that’s a lot. It’s different. That’s why some of these guys raise their hands, and other guys have a problem, so to speak, with alcohol or drugs or anything. But the guys wanted to know, hey, where does this fit into my life? Is this adding to my life? Or is this taking away. And we’ve been doing a lot of work on that. It’s been exciting. And the reason I bring this up is not to call anybody out. But the reason I bring it up is we’ve had it within four or five days, and these are elite businessmen; these aren’t chumps that are rolling around. And they’re very healthy. These guys have been through the program. We’ve had people already within four days and missed the mark. Right? “Ah, no, no, no, I’ll call it’s not a problem in my life, Doug, it’s no issue,” “I just have a couple of beers with the guys” or, you know, maybe have a couple of beers here and there. Four days in, we’ve already had people miss the mark.

Tim Matthews  3:32  

I mean, you have a drink?

Doug Holt  3:33  

Yeah, and I share this because I think it’s relevant. You and I’ve talked about this because I see it come up when guys get open and honest of the percentage of men who say, “Yeah, I probably drink a little too much,” or “smoke a little too much pot,” or whatever it is some guys, it’s coke, what have you. But I’m going to talk about this conversation; let’s talk about drinking people; you can extrapolate whatever it is that you like to do. But one of the ways I like to look at is if I talk to your wife, would she say you drink too much? Your spouse or your or your ex-wife, for that matter? And the answer is almost always yes. When I talk to guys and ask them that question, it’s always “No, I don’t drink too much.” But when I and then I go, “Okay, cool. If I were to ask your wife, what would she say?”, “Well, yeah, maybe she’d like me to drink a little less here and there.” And that’s where it comes in because there’s such a stigma against alcohol or drinking too much or drugs. Because if you’re thought of to drink too much, you’re automatically an alcoholic, right? About him, He drinks two beers every night, and he’s an alcoholic. Or he’s trying to take 30 days off drinking, and he must be an alcoholic; he must have a problem. And the interesting thing with this group, what we’re finding is most of these guys don’t drink that much. But they want to know what role alcohol plays in their life. Are they in control? Or is alcohol in control? Now, I think sugar is much more addictive in my experience. And you can substitute sugar or any other drug or anything else for this. But really, the big thing where I think the real win here is inquiring is the things that we’re doing in our lives, adding to what we want to do or subtracting from? are we drinking because, “Hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere. Let’s go have happy hour cocktails”, or “I’m at lunch at Tim’s, we always get a beer.” And one of those triggers. Now, one of the triggers I noticed for me is coming down because obviously, I’m doing it with the guys. Or maybe not, obviously, but I am doing it with the guys who are coming down from the mountains, right? We were going sledding with the kids. And when I go snowboarding or skiing, when I come down the mountain, I’m usually with a friend, or I’ll meet a friend for a beer and a sandwich, a hamburger or something afterward. So that’s what everybody does. So we came down from the mountain from the kids and all of a sudden, instantly. Beer sounds so good right now. I just started laughing to myself. Because that’s just conditioning. Right? Yeah, beer sounded good. But the only reason a beer sounded good is that I was coming off the mountain. And I was used to associating coming off the mountain from skiing or snowboarding, grabbing a beer with a buddy. And talking about the runs is just hanging out. Right. An epic fun day. And I want to throw it to you, Tim is where do you see this playing out for men? Where they’re not looking at these patterns? Or are they? And how do they serve them?

Tim Matthews  6:46  

Yeah, it’s interesting. I definitely, there’s so much value. We’re involved in things like this because we can’t see our blind spots at the end of the day. It’s a great question to consider. Okay, now I’m an alcoholic; I am not an alcoholic, but I drink too much, or my wife says. And that could be tinted a little bit to some relationship, but regardless, if there is any hesitation in it, there might be something in it for you. And sometimes, as you said, it is just a habit. Coming off the mountain and if you can have one beer, and it just stays, there are two beers or then maybe it’s just habit, whereas if it’s right, “I crave that beer,” “I need that beer,” one beer turns to two and two to three. And you’ve been doing it most nights. And like you said, the key thing is, does this control you? Or do you control it? Right? That’s, that’s the key, and in terms of where it plays out in the men’s lives, it’s kind of like the fast, right, so I’m fasting right now, as you guys know or may not know. And the first time I did this, what I found interesting, I wasn’t expecting to find out about myself, was my relationship with food. Yeah, I learned a lot about how I was using food. I’d use it when emotions arose inside me, and I would then go and eat. I would never have labeled myself an emotional eater because if you compare me to, let’s say, somebody that’s obese, and yeah, I’m not an emotional eater, but by definition, I was. I didn’t want to deal and sit with the emotion, whether I don’t know, anger. And it wasn’t like I was going to go generative of ice cream. I was going and grabbing a snack. But even still, that snack was a distraction from what was going on inside of me. And that’s how I was using food point being with alcohol. I think this is what maybe some of these guys are starting to realize that this process is how they use it. And if you use it to skip or to distract or to hide or to numb, in my opinion, you get to lead into that doesn’t mean you never drink again. But it’s just about having a healthy relationship with alcohol. So that you then control it, and it becomes conscious. That’s the key.

Doug Holt  9:19  

Right, consciousness. So what I don’t want to get into in this episode is: Two drinks too much? Three drinks…18 drinks too much at all? No judgment here. And that’s the first thing when we form it: this group for this 30 days, zero judgment, right? I have more respect for the guys that came clean and said, “Fuck, I drank, I lost it.” “I got stressed. I went out, got a six-pack, and I had four beers.” Right? But I have more respect for them. And in the end, I’m starting over. Right, and I’m doing the journaling exercises I wasn’t doing them. So it becomes exciting. It’s the introspection here of what it is doing. When I did my fast, I noticed that when I come out of my man cave office down here, I go upstairs, I always pass the pantry. And when I was fasting, I still would turn open the pantry door. And then I just started laughing at myself. “Why am I here?” Right? It wasn’t perfect. And I would do it every time, just like the beer. I’ve noticed that since this is there’s a woman – Darcy, who you know – who works for me comes here twice a week. She comes here and works all day. We’re all good friends. She hangs out with my kids, my wife, etc. At the end of the workday, I open a nice bottle of wine. We sit around and chat. She plays with the kids. We have a good conversation. It’s COVID we don’t see anybody. We all had a good time. Right? Yesterday, Darcy was here. I’m not drinking. So I didn’t open a bottle of wine. Darcy left. So I’m sure it’s circumstantial. But you start to notice patterns, and you start to notice things. And one of the things you said, I think even when you and I first met, whatever one that was three, four years ago, however long seems like an eternity. But when you and I first met, one of the things that you did is you looked at all your friends and said,” Who can I have clean fun with?” And that’s a requirement for me. I think this is important when I say drink a little drink smoke a little smoke, why are you doing it? If you’re going, “Hey, man, I just want to clear my head, I want to turn off the noise, I’m gonna smoke, I’m gonna drink, I’m gonna do it.” Cool. You’re doing it consciously. You’re making a choice, no judgment. Or if you’re like, I want to get drunk tonight. Or I’m going to go to happy hour or whatever. Awesome. If it’s conscious. I want to narrow down and get across to the guys listening to this when it doesn’t become conscious, and it becomes hiding out. Right? Are you doing this to a hideout? Are you doing this? For whatever reason, just because you’ve been doing it for years, right years and years and years. Every night at five o’clock, you make a cocktail at six o’clock, every second one, seven o’clock, you have your fifth one, right? And then you’re passing out in bed, you wake up the next morning, I’ve talked about this before…6 am you say I’m not drinking today, I’m going to work out and a nail today…6 pm you say, “Ah, one drink, two drinks, it was a rough day.” And you repeat that pattern.

Tim Matthews  12:23  

The key here is that you rely on willpower. I have not done the introspection in that instance, and you have to understand the kind of symptom versus root cause of the symptom; the problem isn’t the drink. The problem is what you use in the drink to do. Inevitably, maybe these guys that kind of caved a few days in maybe that’s what they did. Maybe they were relying on willpower; kudos to them. They recognized. Hey, there’s something I want to change here. Rely on willpower; that’s just a tough thing to do. But then when they realize Hang on a minute, willpower isn’t enough, I get to go deeper with this because the other side to this coin right is okay, so what I understand what I am using alcohol to do, be it. Let’s say I’m using alcohol as a way to, whenever alcohol, I then become the CFO; we have spoken about being the CFO before, right? And really, the story than might be well, and I need alcohol to be that fun—happy go, lucky guy. Okay, so you use alcohol as an excuse or a gateway to be more of who you want to be. Okay? So if you take alcohol out of the picture, that will require you to get a little bit uncomfortable and be vulnerable and express a side of you that is your side going to look silly. Is it going to be rejected? Is it whatever, right? So it’s you who starts to lean into what you’re using it for. And it’s mighty, it’s like, a leak in a bucket. Right? We’ve spoken about this before, and you’ve got a book where you’re trying to fill it with water, you’re turning up the pressure on the tap. And the book, he just isn’t rising. And you look in there, and there are a few holes and a few leaks. Well, when you start to plug those leaks, guess what book it rises, and this relationship with alcohol might be one of those leaks that you can plug, and it’s not about never drinking again. It’s not about that. It’s just about getting, as you said, the consciousness around it.

Doug Holt  14:38  

Yeah, I mean, you fast. You’re going to eat again. You get to choose how many after this, you might want to go, hey, let’s drink a beer. Right? Who cares? The point being is getting clarity around it and getting clarity on what you want to do. I talked to one of the guys in the group with us amazing guys in The Brotherhood, a one-year mastermind group of guys who must go through The Activation Method to get into. But he and I were talking, and he was like, “that’s not a big deal for me.” And as the conversation progressed a little bit, I asked, and he talked about social anxiety; I drink at social events. And I went through my history. When I was in my early 2I started business 0s as the youngest business owner on State Street in Santa Barbara, California. And it is like the main drag, and I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. Right? But I tried to act older, and I go to all these like networking events. Because that’s how you’re supposed to do it, and I would be socially inept looking back at it, and I was just nervous. Everybody was in suits, and who were I and my story as I was so young, and you started drinking. Get a glass of wine, there’s always wine in Santa Barbara, everywhere you go, get a glass of wine, cool, kind of downing it. No big deal, talking to people a second glass of wine, no big deal. The third glass of wine, no big deal. In the fourth glass of wine, you’re not even buzzed. All of a sudden, boom, it hits you. You’re like a holy cow. All the alcohol is your point, which is embarrassing. When was this guy saying, “Oh my god, the same thing has happened to me,” Right? He’s like he was relating. I was at a party. And this amazing dude is at a party, and nothing was going on was hanging out suddenly, next thing I know, buzz to blackout drunk. This is a common occurrence. And people don’t want to talk about it. Right. And because there’s a stigma behind it, what I’m trying to do is rip off the stigma. What’s going on? And to your point, Tim, what happens is guys need to get to learn who they are as a real man. Well, we call The Powerful Man. And until they get to that point, it’s really tough to look deeply into that situation, though. It’s hard for them to go to the party and be without alcohol, or it’s hard to do these things without that crutch. Guys that go through the program, especially The Alpha Reset, have a different perspective. They’re very secure with themselves. So they can look at this from a different lens. Case in point I was I invited one of our alumni into the group just said, Hey, man; this might be for you want to throw it out, no stigmas, nothing, just thought of you. And he came back with me, and it’s like Doug, alcohol is not a problem, my life, etc. Now, granted, I’ve been coaching for over 20 years. So you can read between the lines fairly easily. And it’s not this, it’s not that I was like, well, you have the opportunity to take a deeper look, if you want to, like go through these exercises that we have and do this and do the work. It’s 30 friggin days, no big deal. And he said no. And I think it’s because there’s no judgment on him at all. But it’s in these situations that people don’t want to look at it. We come up with this excuse. I’m not fat. And then, all of a sudden, it gets too late. And you’re 300 pounds, or I don’t have a drinking problem. Yet people around, you’re like, Hey, you drink a little too much here going through there. It’s before that would be the ideal, but otherwise, taking stock of where you are and why you’re doing what you’re doing. And I’ll tell you what, Tim, I think that this bleeds over to men’s businesses. Oh, for sure. And this bleeds over to their relationships because you can’t have authentic, deep, connected relationships with somebody unless you’re fully present. And alcohol is a depressant. Pot is a depressant, and cocaine is a stimulant. You can’t be fully present with the person to be there. And you can’t be full whether it be a father or a husband. And so you’re giving yourself the opportunity or the possibility of missing out. They may choose to do it still. But you gotta make sure it’s a choice, is what I’m trying to say. 

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Tim Matthews  19:38  

Yeah, I mean, again, but why do you use alcohol? How do you use alcohol? For all the guys I’ve spoken to anyway, how they’ve used it similar to using money, similar to how they use cars, similar fatalities, possessions, is to fill themselves up because they arrive home from work. And honestly, they feel like they’ve been meeting everybody else’s needs but themselves. They don’t know what they like to do for fun anymore because everything’s about work. They don’t understand how to fill their cup or even if the cup is empty. And they know that alcohol is the quick and easy thing that they have been conditioned really to go to over the years in society, right? It’s just an easy thing. Is usually what they do, they’ll go to alcohol that they’ll feel better because it numbs the anger, the frustration, sometimes even gives the guys an outlet gives them an excuse to express the anger that the feeling gives him an excuse to start shouting at the kids or the wife and you know, a lot of the guys like so they don’t do that. But a lot of the guys will say they do not say anyone does or doesn’t. But the point I’m making here, as you say, bleeds over to business certainly does. And often, the way you unconsciously use alcohol is probably going to be the same way you use your business and money and other things outside of yourself. But it’s living from the outside, and it can be anywhere, even from the outside in depending on how you’re using it.

Doug Holt  21:10  

Yeah, I’m afraid I have to disagree. And I can’t remember who said this. And many have been David Deida, who’s written many books, especially around masculinity and things of that nature. But we talked about masculine versus feminine. It’s the feminine nature to dance, have sex or drink to open up, and right women drink to open up or have sex to open up and receive. We’re men, and we do it to release. You look at men tribal dancing versus women. It’s very different. I’ve done tribal dancing before, and it is friggin masculine when it’s done right.  It is powerful. The same thing with drinking, a lot of guys, will drink to obliteration. We drink to obliterate our ego. And I think that’s really where until guys realize that that’s a different paradigm shift. And you can still do it, right? It’s nothing wrong with that. I like drinking. Quite honestly, I like having the buzz, like having a couple of beers with the guys talking a little trash, having some fun. But you got to be conscious about it and then recognize your triggers, in my opinion, of why are you doing it? And when does it become habitual or subconscious going through? And I think that’s the key. If you recognize that men do tend masculine men, which will be the listeners we have, masculine men tend to obliterate or destroy. Like we watch action movies, we watch action movies because we want to destroy stuff and obliterate our ego, men will zone out to a show far faster than a woman. Far faster, right? Because we’re obliterating the ego by jumping to the show. Let’s watch sports. Let’s watch leads lose whatever it may be, right? We’ll watch something, or we’ll do something, just for the obliteration effect and alcohol pot. What you have is the obliteration of the ego is the same thing. But you have to be conscious about what you’re doing. It’s a slippery slope, and I’m guessing most listeners, business owners especially, have been in situations in business with either themselves or somebody else, a colleague or what have you, has started to drink too much, right? Then they start stumbling their words, and they start losing their perspective, their edge, not knowingly, and that’s the difference—the not knowingly part.

Tim Matthews  23:25  

Yeah, for sure. It reminds me of the time when I almost died from taking too many drugs. And now I think back to that time, and the way I used to use alcohol and recreational drugs was a way to escape. I used to pride myself on being the license or the party if you will. But it’s known for it. Now, you can’t imagine that can you, Doug?

Doug Holt  23:52  

No, no, no. Was I the center of attention? No.

Tim Matthews  23:55  

Yeah. So the point is bringing it back to when I realized, yeah, I was so empty back then. When I started to do the work on myself, when I realized, hang on a minute, I understood why I was using the alcohol in the way that I was. And you know, it wasn’t a big deal. We all said no big deal. No big deal. You know, I’m not an alcoholic, compared to whatever, and when I started to do the work on myself, but I started to feel good about myself, without needing things outside of me. Oh my god, it was addictive. It was great to experience peace and connection, and kind of like you walk in through life just flowing through life to a degree, and then that’s what led to the whole rule around. I want to be in a relationship with friends who are clean forward because of alcohol for me at that point and almost done a complete 180. I used to use it to escape how I felt, and I used to enjoy that. But that then became what I wouldn’t say I liked because I used to then, or then started to feel so good in my skin that I didn’t want to escape it. And so it’s a great place to be in a thing looking back for me that the first thing was recognizing where I was and how I was using them. For me, it took an event like going into hospital to I knew I was using it in certain ways to a degree, and it wasn’t like I was some, the stigma coming in. Right? The story wasn’t like there was some dysfunction around it. But you know, even still, it was there.

Doug Holt  25:41  

There’s a stigma around it said, No, you call yourself, which I think is awesome, man, because you’ve been so transparent about your experience. And so rare, it’s one of your gifts. But there’s the stigma, like what are other people going to think they’re going to think I’m this junkie on the streets, scoring heroin every day. I think that stigma, you know, coming from almost a puritanical culture, that stigma is what stops these conversations, just like the stigma of what does it mean to be a powerful man? Guys, we’ll talk about it, but within a room with a bunch of women, they’re like, Oh, you know, yes, dear, is not standing in your power, when I think bringing light to something is always great. Right, then you can make decisive decisions from it. And that’s what I was trying to do with this group is take away the stigma and allow people a comfortable, “safe place” to look at this and say, Hey, is this serving me or not? And if it is, why, and if it’s not, why not? And then I can choose from that field of what I want to do.

Tim Matthews  26:47  

Yeah, for sure. Again, I think the key is like everything, and you need to understand where you are. If you want to get feedback from the people around you, like your wife or whoever else called, get it. And also, maybe keep a diary for a week. Write down what you drink for a week. Please don’t change it because you’re keeping a diary. But write down what you drink for the week, but also why you drink it. And maybe you don’t even know some nights, maybe it’s just like, I’m just doing it because this is what I do. I think from that place. Yeah. What if you were to try then, just okay? I realize I’m drinking. Thursday to Sunday, I’m drinking. Okay, well, what about us out Thursday? What then arises for you when you cook Thursday out? Do you then start to get annoyed, pissed off? Agitated, because you can’t have the alcohol? Maybe there’s something that, and maybe it’ll lean into that further? What was that providing you with? Maybe you don’t; maybe you are just fine. I think you know if this is. If you’re even getting triggered right now, listen to this conversation. It would help if you had jerk reactions now. Not me, not me, not me. And there’s no openness to it; maybe that’s a sign that you get to lean in. But if this you just resonated and you want to lean in, then I think there’s a great opportunity for you here to plug one of those leaks in that book that goes towards you being that powerful man and standing in your power. Now it isn’t easy to stand your power. If you’re leaking power all over the place, you have to put those leaks in, and then this might be another one of those leaks. We’ve all got them. But the key is finding them and plugging them.

Doug Holt  28:31  

Yeah. And we’ll end soon. And I’ll leave on a note is one of the common objections I hear from guys is, Doug, I have business meetings. And my business meetings are social. They involve taking clients out drinks, etc. The second thing is what my friends are going to think, right? All of a sudden, I’m the social guy. I’m the life of the party. Like you said, Tim? And what are people going to do? And it’s a real fear. I know, a guy, very well respected guy, super intelligent. And he was terrified. Like, what are my friends going to do? I’m the social guy. I’m the guy that makes Margaritas and gets beers and everybody,  has a great time, and he’s in his 50s. And I’ll tell you what; I’ve done this several times, almost every year I take 30 days off, right? It’s kind of for me, it’s, uh, keep myself in check and check into what I’m doing. I have family members who are alcoholics. And so I want to make sure that I don’t go down that slippery slope. Right. And again, I do like to drink; I like the buzz. I like the taste of all of those things, which can add to a problem if unchecked, so I do it like 30 days every year. I’m going to do it. And it’s worked well for me. It served me well. And I can tell you, every time I do it, I get a bunch of guys that talk a bunch of shit to me. Always. “Oh, what are you doing?”, Uh, wimp in these other words, come on, go, come on, come out, get a beer with me, etc., etc. And every time 100% of the time, Tim, that same guy when I stand my ground, like, No, I’m not doing it, this is why I’m not doing it. And you know, it’s been exciting for me. Every one of those guys goes, Yeah, man, I really should do that. I’ve been talking about this for a while. And I know my wife, and we got in this rut, we’re, you know, we’re having like, three or four beers a night now, and just not feeling good. Anyway, whatever the story is for them. Yeah, 100% of the time, you know, I would say, I get crap. 30%, three out of 10 people give me a little bit of crap for it. 100% of those three out of 10 people want I just explained, and I’m doing this, I’m firm, they see that you know me, I’m stubborn. I’m not moving from this ledge at all. And I feel very secure with my decision. Every one of them goes, man, I’d like to do that too. And the same thing happened to this guy I’m mentioning who was extremely social, you know, he runs multiple international companies. He was terrified about it. He went to parties, and people kept offering them drinks. He said no. And they were giving him crap. And the next thing you know, everybody’s drunk except for him. And he’s looking around going, wait a minute. This isn’t quite as fun as it used to be one or second thing is people calling him up afterward, going, Hey, man, what are you doing? Like I wanted to cut back for years, you know what’s going on? So he’s formed deeper relationships with people he’s known for 20 plus years. Because of his choice, he is now leading from the front. And his friends are all international business leaders. I mean, he’s got amazing, you know, Black Book of people that are close friends of his, they are now even closer because they’re now saying, hey, look, this has been a closet concern of mine. I just haven’t seen anybody jump ship in a healthy, responsible way for a long time. And he’s making choices and whether he continues or not. And but again, all comes from leadership and choices, your optics. And guys, I can guarantee any fears you have around this or any stories you have around this are all false. Write 30 days, as Tim said, or start seven days and write down what you’re doing now. If you do for 30 days, every time you want to reach for a drink. Write yourself down. Why is he like me? Like you’re coming down from the mountain, and you’re like, ah, I hang out with my friends. We’re done snowboarding or skiing; grab a beer. Right? It’s habitual. It’s just funny; it’s a funny trigger. I laugh at it, or like one of the guys said, it’s COVID, so my wife and I open a bottle of wine every afternoon now, but we normally don’t do it; I have no triggers. Not true. The clock is your trigger. Right? So these are things that you want to get, guys and as Tim and I always say on these shows, is get optics with optics on your life you can start making decisions you can start having the control you can start driving the ship of that is your life you know we talked about you can be a tugboat or you can be the lighthouse right? Both bring ships in safe harbor, tugboat goes out, grabs a ship needed to do it, or a lighthouse stands strong in any storm. Be the lighthouse guys? Do what you want to do. Any closing remarks?

Tim Matthews  33:18  

I was just thinking about the lighthouse versus tugboat, such a great analogy.

Doug Holt  33:22  

I love it.

Tim Matthews  33:24  

Huge. Yeah. Not really; I mean, I think we’ve covered some great ground here. I think the guys have got some great action steps to take. And take action guys, you will get fierce resistance. I imagine you’re going to face resistance from the people around you, especially if they’re used to being in a relationship with you that involves alcohol, by default. You behaving in this way is going to cause them to look at their behavior. Like you. That’s not your responsibility. That’s not your thing. That’s their story. That’s, you know, it’s up to them. And who knows, maybe with your wife, if it brings some stuff up for her, maybe that will open up some great conversations between you guys and bring you guys even closer. But yeah, guys, if this is now ringing true for you that I encourage you and implore you to take this further, do the work and see what opens up.

Doug Holt  34:22  

Always, always guys, as always, take action. And if this is your first time with us here at the show, we invite you to go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/bonus. That’s ThePowerfulMan.com/bonus to get free training. Try it for yourself. You know we are here as a movement of men. This is beyond courses beyond coaching. This is a movement of men that is truly something that’s worldwide. And we want to give you something so that you can experience the greatness within you. And of course, if you’ve been with us for a while, I’m going to ask the same thing I’ve asked the last couple of times because it means so much to me to see and for Tim to help other men is leave us a review Takes 30 seconds, maybe tops on the platform that you catch this on an honest review so other men like you can find this. So guys, as always, take action to be amazing. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man show.

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