What Are Your Standards?

Episode #25

In this episode, Tim & Doug discuss how to shift your mindset to make progress in your business and personal life and how it starts with asking yourself about your standards.

Using a real-life example, Tim & Doug share a story of a member of the Activation Method who completely shifted his mindset from one of self-limiting beliefs and fear to confidence and abundance to transform his life and his business. Over the course of 1 year, this individual went from being unable to sell in his specialist area to 10x-ing his sales, selling to the same people who had turned him down 1 year previous. It all came from a mindset shift.

In this episode, you will hear how the man achieved this, how he made that first step, the obstacles and biggest mistakes he made along the way, and the man he has now become today.

One of the first and most important steps to improving your life and your business is to shift your mindset. Changing those psychological factors that affect our daily behavior and habits is a long and winding road that Tim & Doug have helped people down on various occasions. One of the most common problems they see is men who start on the journey but fail to follow through.

Doug explains what daily routines were used to change the discussed individual’s attitudes and beliefs and how it took time and dedication to see these huge results.

Things you will discover in this episode:

  • Simple routines you can do daily to shift your mindset
  • The importance of gratitude
  • How happiness relates to abundance
  • How surrounding yourself by inspiring and like-minded people can help
  • How the alpha reset can completely change your life
  • The critical questions you need to answer in the first step to shifting your mindset
  • The biggest roadblocks in mindset shifting and how to overcome them.
  • The importance of your relationships in finding a positive mindset.


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Episode Transcript

Tim Matthews  0:00  

I was blown away that every morning at 6 is, he was saying, “Hey, when are we going to the gym?” “When are we going to the gym?” He then went to the gym. 

Doug Holt  0:08  

And he hit hard. He hit it hard. 

Tim Matthews  0:11  

Yes! It was just also effortless. Mind-blowing compared to where he was in December when he attended and also where he was in January.

Doug Holt  0:24  

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host Tim “The Powerful Man” Matthews. Tim, how’s it going? Brother?

Tim Matthews  0:35  

Very well, indeed. Very, very well, indeed. What about you?

Doug Holt  0:39  

I’m doing excellent, man. I’m doing excellent. Coming off the back of a great conversation that you and I just had. So there’s always fire me up before we hit the record button.

Tim Matthews  0:47  

Thank you. I love it when you say that. So there’s something I want to bring to the table today. And hopefully, it’s gonna help the listeners. So as you are aware, one of the men in The Brotherhood recently had a huge win. Just to set the scene for the listeners. He went to a business meeting in Dubai, and he met with some people they met with last year. His business, he’s in a souvenir business, and he provides different souvenirs, two different outlets that they can then brand themselves and sell them to tourists. Now, he showed the same collection to the same people last year. And the response he got last year was, don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Doug Holt  1:35  

You always do that in the movies. Right? You don’t expect to hear that for somebody?

Tim Matthews  1:38  

Yeah, I was blown away when he told me that I was blown away when he was telling me this; fast forward to this year, two weeks ago, he walked out of there with a deal for £68,000. And that deal for £68,000 is set to rise to £110,000 over the next few months. Now, this guy keeps joining the program back in September. And he believed he had anxiety. He saw Mel’s, the thing that grabs his attention was Mel’s Facebook Live in The Activation Method community about having a paralyzing presence that kind of says it all. He had built up a lot of anxiety in his life to the point where he put trackers on his dad’s car to just know where his dad was going because he’s fearful that something was going to happen to him, he would have a headache and go to the doctors thinking he had a brain tumor. He has then been hiding from going into work and not been into work for three months. All I could go on and on and on the list was huge. So that was only in September of 2018. We are in We are now in March of 2019. So it’s been a six-month journey for this particular man. And Doug, you’ve been working very closely with him. It achieves some phenomenal results; I want to dive into what you believe have been the biggest shifts with him. I’m going to share some of mine, too, in the hope that the listeners here can really pick out some nuggets and implement them into their own lives as well.

Doug Holt  3:17  

Yeah, sure. First of all, I think it’s important for the listeners to know that you give a lot of pretense to what was going on. But I want to set the scene the way that I saw it so people can get it. Here we have a very intelligent business owner who had essentially created a story around his business. That was blocking him in. So if you’ve ever had the feeling in business, like you’re whatever you try to do, you’re just not going anywhere. You wake up in the morning, and you’re tired. You don’t feel energetic, you’re not excited about going into the office, yet you do it anyway, you start taking courses, maybe it’s courses on sales, that latest sales funnel, marketing, you’re taking leadership training, whatever it may be, yet, no matter what you do, you don’t seem to progress. Despite the business meetings you’re going to, the business doesn’t grow anymore. And that’s what was happening to this gentleman that you’re talking about. And he made some amazing shifts. So when I started working with them, this was the post Activation Method. I’ve met him at The Alpha Reset as I meet many men after they’ve already gone through intense training with the other coaches. 

And he’d already made some major paradigm shifts, right. He made some big distinctions in his life, and as you always hear me say, Tim, a business only grows as far as the business owner’s mindset. Now, of course, if they have, they’re surrounded by board members and a huge C suite office that can carry them, that’s a little different. But for most businesses, it’s the business owner, the buck stops there, and it stops with their mindset. And that was what was happening for this guy. It’s really hard for me not to say his name because I know him so well. He’s just a great guy, a phenomenal person, huge heart, very smart. And so for him, he was going through that kind of what I call the passive energy within his business. And what we worked on were the basics and then some of the basics, going back to The Activation Method and The Alpha Reset some of the course materials, the foundation courses that we teach, and he’d gone through those, right, and he thought, “Hey, I’m done, I’m done. I don’t have to do those anymore”, which is just not the case. It’s analogous to going to the gym for eight weeks getting in shape and then saying what, that’s it, I’m all done with my workouts, I don’t have to ever work out again, that’s just not the case, we’re all on a journey. We’re all going someplace. So to catch you up where he’s at, and what we did, one of the things we focused on was his morning routine, how do we start his day, in such a manner that’s tailored to him, where he wakes up, and he’s able to push back on these old stories that he’d had. 

He’s reinforced these old stories, what I call stacking; he stacked one belief upon another, to where it’s been, for so many years, over decades at this point, that they become part of him, part of his internal belief system. So what we did is we worked on rewiring, the neuroplasticity in the brain we’re working on rewiring, that starting with his morning routines, and then we gamified his life. So Tim, as what we do, takes the men out, and we gamify different areas of their lives like their health, their relationships, of course, their business, their wealth, and their self. And we gamified these areas, so we’d have a holistic view. But we also wrap them around the idea of his business giving him thus giving him more unstoppable confidence, a sense of abundance around time, money, and freedom in his area. So he was able to attract the right people, resources, and opportunities into his life. And it was with that mindset work that we were doing, which included him very devout with his religious faith who happens to be a Muslim. And so making sure he was reading the Quran and going to prayer, and looking at starting with baby steps, chipping away at these self-limiting beliefs that he didn’t even know were there, right. And that’s the thing that if anybody’s listening to this is going, well, that’s not me. Well, guess what? He didn’t know they were there. And most people don’t until they have a chance to start chipping away at them and seeing what’s lying beneath the surface. So we worked on his morning routines and got those going. 

And once his morning routine started to pick up steam, he had more and more questions. Questions about business, of course, he wanted strategies and tactics. But it was the mindset shifts that he started to have. And as he had these mindset shifts, he started to see the playing field grow bigger, bigger, and bigger. He was able to see moves on the board and business ahead. He was now moving the chess pieces, three, four steps ahead because he could see the plays coming out. And when we lead up, and I want to go into all the details, of course, I know you have a bunch of questions. But as we led into the Dubai trip, he was going back there really with confidence, and he worked his routines going through there and his mindset. And when he walked in there, he was on fire. He did a little routine. And you heard the story in the office right before he did his pitch to get himself into the state to remind himself of The Powerful Man that he is. We exercise within The Activation Method, where we look at your shadow versus the man you truly are. And he was able to call forth himself, right, his real self. And in doing so, these people not only ordered as you said, but they invited him to come back again because they wanted to buy more. That’s amazing,

Tim Matthews  9:24  

huh? Yeah, I remember him posting in the Workplace community. Before the meeting, we sat there in Dubai. One of the exercises that Arthur had him do was start getting out into nature, really be in nature, and just sit there and observe and experience all the abundance and all the miracles around him. And I remember him posting in the group blown away by what I saw, simple things simple, everyday things that have been there all along. But he just wasn’t seeing them, such as he saw two older chicks hatching in a nest, then he was watching the bees fly about, the birds and how the trees were and just simple, simple things. But when you take time to sit and be with it, it profoundly impacts the level of abundance that he was then experiencing within his own life, which I have not asked him this. But why imagine what happened as well then going into the meeting, and him being able to command and ask for why wanted naturally? It feels like it’s more of it’s there, doesn’t it? Because he’s feeling more abundant anyway, whereas on the flip side, when now 12 months prior, when he was running on fumes and feeling empty, and feeling scarce, in asking for a big deal would have felt scarce, because it wasn’t enough whether it’s abundance is abundance, isn’t it, whether it’s money, love, health, whatever, it’s all the same things, it’s the same energy. 

So as you were working with him, Doug, and you were setting up some of his routines within the morning, there are just two things I want to know more of the gratifying, which have a good idea, but I want the listeners to be able to digest this in the hope, well, maybe they’re able to apply gamification to their own life, but that side of things, and I want to know more about the specifics of the morning routine that you’ll get him to do. To know that he’s just volunteered at  The Alpha Reset we’ve just had in New Hampshire, and he was there for months prior. And in the morning, every morning, the guys are led through a workout. And in December, when he was there, he slept through every workout. This time, he was the one that was up at 6 am be like, “Guys, when we go into the gym!”, like, night and day. So what were some of the keys in his morning routine that you had him do the specific exercises?

Doug Holt  12:09  

Yeah, so I mean, first of all, as a Muslim, he has early morning prayer. And so we got him to commit to that because his faith is really important to him. And he was using excuses, and I can’t get out of bed, all the excuses a lot of us use when things aren’t going right, and so that was one of the first things I had him do because his faith is so important to him, I wanted to use that to piggyback off these other ones. Now, we had them start with a practice of gratitude. It’s a practice; we have all the men do going into deep gratitude. This is not just an I’m grateful for all the money coming into my life. It’s a much deeper practice of gratitude that has several steps to it. We also had him because scarcity mindset was an issue that we as coaches determined if we had them work on abundance, right? Abundance is such a funny word to me, it’s almost tree hungry, for lack of better description, but looking at the amplitude, all the stuff around him that was available. So as you mentioned, one of the coaches, Arthur, talks about nature. Well, he was supposed to go out and find an abundance within nature, abundance on his way to the mosque, abundance in his home, abundance in his business. So he was tasked to writing down and finding evidence for abundance in his everyday life. And as he did that, he started to make some big shifts. And then, of course, as we also test him, he had to break a sweat. Right? We went as far as making sure that he got a trainer and nutrition plan. We helped him pick the right trainer in his area and get hired. 

So we did a concierge for him they’re made sure everything was on point with the person he had. And we started looking at his relationships, Tim we talked about once when scarcity or any mindset starts to creep in, depression or anything else, it bleeds into every area of our life. A lot of people I hear this time and time again, I’m sure you do. I’m good at putting things in containers, right. This is my business container. This is my personal, it’s all BS; it bleeds over. We had them start reaching out to friends, right, reaching out to acquaintances, reaching out to people he hadn’t talked to. These are all parts of his morning routine. And of course, we went into his diet. We went into it as soon as you got up, you got to hydrate. When you wake up in the morning, you are dehydrated. So drinking a glass of water immediately upon waking will hydrate your cells, it’s going to get your body moving. It’s also going to start some of the metallic metabolism, the metabolic processes in your body. So these are some of the simple things that we had them do. We’ve built on the Over the time, it’s only been, I guess over the time, it’s only really been three months. But we keep building on these as they become a habit. So they’re habitual. If they’re ingrained in who he is, we start building upon these over the course of a year. And that’s our plan that we’ve laid out for him. 

Hey, guys, I want to interrupt this episode because I want to talk to you about something important. We put together a case study on how almost 300 men have taken control of their lives, their 4X in their business revenues, and they’re having more connected intimate sex, all without sacrificing their relationships or their health by using The Activation Method. Now, many of you have contacted us, and they want to know how they’re doing it. We put together this short 11-minute case study just for you. So you can see how these entrepreneurs are achieving this level of success. To get this case study, all you have to do is go over to www.thepowerfulman.com/bonus. And you can get the case study right now. All right, it’s only 11 minutes, it’s going to show you exactly how these men have done it. Alright, let’s get back to the episode.

Tim Matthews  16:11  

It’s amazing because when you surround yourself with other men besides you, before you, and beneath you. So what I mean by that is this man, in particular, is surrounded by certain men that have gone before him, me, you, and the other coaches. So that way, we inspire him, and he can learn from us. He’s also surrounded himself by other men beside him or the men in the trenches doing the work permitted to go where he’s going. And what he’s also done by volunteering at  The Alpha Reset and getting involved with the men in The Activation Method. He’s surrounded himself by men that are beneath him, which then holds him to a standard, and what’s going to happen because he’s surrounded by those three types of men as well. He is now having a real sort of drip down effect, isn’t it? The other men in The Brotherhood like, “Shit!” 

Doug Holt  17:07  

He stepped up! 

Tim Matthews  17:12  

Yes, standards are stepped up big time. It’s there; the habits are ingrained in and have ingrained in his daily routine. I was blown away that every morning at 6 is, he was saying, “Hey, when are we going to the gym? Why don’t we go into the gym?” he was up; he was ready. He then went to the gym any hard,

Doug Holt  17:33  

And he hit hard. He hit it hard.

Tim Matthews  17:38  

Yeah! Smashed in the gym. And how we then and then to hold space for all the other men at  The Alpha Reset as well, during those four days. It was just also effortless. It was amazing to see mind-blowing compared to where he was in December when he attended and also where he was in January when it came to The Brotherhood event in Windsor, didn’t they? And that’s where we sat him down, and we were real with him because, as you said, he came up with The Activation Method thinking he made it in his own words, after  The Alpha Reset, I thought I’d made it. I didn’t have to do any more work because it felt so great about me.  The Alpha Reset and The Activation Method is designed to set you free and to get you going. And like you said, you gotta keep doing the reps and going to the gym. So when I came in January, I think it’d been about three or four weeks since it finished  The Alpha Reset and been in The Brotherhood. He took his foot off the gas, didn’t he, and wanted to go back to old habits and old ways. And that’s where we were very real with him. We told him it was unacceptable has been part of The Brotherhood. This is the standard you have promised to play out, and you’re not doing it right now.

Doug Holt  18:49  

I’m gonna pause you for one second here. And only because I’ve just realized how jaded you and I can be. Because we see this happen so often, we’re able to work with so many men. In his defense, he is a tote,  The Alpha Reset and The Activation Method is a huge life change for these men. I mean, phenomenal, and so for all of these men, if that’s all they did, their life would be changed forever, their family’s life would be changed forever. So in his defense, he had made such huge strides. And as I hear you talking, I’m agreeing with everything you’re saying. And I’m going wait a minute, had I never seen or been through the program and seen hundreds of men going through it? I might think, “Oh, it’s just another program”, which is not the case at all. He made monumental shifts in his marriage and business, all before going to the next level, The Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is like the pro leagues. Right? It’s when you start just playing a sport. I’m going to call that The higher Activation Method that’s an accelerated program. It’s intense, and then coming out of that, he decided to get tapped for the pros, and that’s where we’re very honest and real with them. So anyway, Tim, go ahead, do that everybody understood the significance of those changes.

Tim Matthews  20:11  

Yeah, thank you for that, because I see what you mean. But yeah, I didn’t need to be firm with him in the pro leagues and said, “Look, guys, I’ve done some great work, but I want you to be firm with me and The Brotherhood,” so Okay.

Doug Holt  20:26  

Not a problem.

Tim Matthews  20:27  

Yeah. So you’ve made some great changes; kudos to you for life-changing changes completely. And, you know, we’ve seen other men’s dogs that have gone through it. And he does; he completely changes their whole world, the whole paradigm. And every guy always says they cannot unsee what they’ve seen, and children’s thing, go to another level and step up, require you to play to the level another level, otherwise, what happens you get relegated. And again, for this guy, as I said, it’s only been six months. A tiny amount of time is now for decades. He has been building a certain story, as you said at the beginning, and has been building a certain story and stacking evidence for a certain story. It’s only been six months, compared to decades. So yay, great transformation, and The Alpha Reset and The Activation Method plateaued a little bit, then boom went off again. And where he is now to see his Well, it’s shedding weight, his habits, his businesses flying, is just phenomenal. It inspires me, it makes me look at my game, and I think “Shit! Am I showing up?” But it’s great to be surrounded by guys like that Because like I said, it inspires you, doesn’t it?

Doug Holt  21:50  

You’re the product of the five people you spend the most time with.  I believe that to be true, if you can add that multiplier that maybe it’s the product of the ten people, it gets even bigger. The thing that he keeps saying over and over again, or at least he did come out of this last Alpha Reset, whereas volunteering? Is the mantra that you brought up in Wales, which is “What are your standards?” and that’s motivated me too because we look at it, “What are your standards?”, “What are you willing to tolerate?” Right, this goes right back to buying the sale? Right? What are your standards for your mental state? What are your standards for your confidence? What are your standards for your relationships? What are your standards for the way you show up to your family? What are your standards for the way you show up at work? What are your standards for filling in the blank, right? And all of us as men get to look at that list? What are our standards? What are they? And for him, again, he came in trying to solve a particular problem that he was facing, and he resonated with one of our coaches, Mel, you mentioned. That he’s gotten so much more because he keeps raising his standards. And he’s turned into just such a natural leader, and a leader of leaders because you look at the guys in  The Alpha Reset. They’re all businessmen at the top of their game. And he stepped up and led them through a life-transforming process, and I couldn’t be more proud of them—just an amazing man.

Tim Matthews  23:23  

Yeah, I was speaking to another guy in The Brotherhood yesterday. And he brought this particular guy up to me, and this particular guy was going up and down with his commitment levels, quite honestly. And then as soon as he hears what, it’s so hard not to say the names, isn’t it? As soon as he said what they said, the gentleman achieved and created it completely inspired him. Sometimes when, until the tangibles, they’re at the six-figure deal, to then think, “Oh, actually maybe there’s something in this,” so often can be the case, but in terms of Be-Do-Have, wait until the money’s there to prove to you that it’s time to do something…it has to be doesn’t it? We hear that so often from the guys coming in. Still, this particular guy has chosen, as you’ve said, to just raise his standards and continue to adopt the Be-Do-Have mentality that is so key to you living a productive and fulfilling life to any of us living in a productive and fulfilling life where a business grows. The relationship flows, and now you’re finally fulfilled is key.

Doug Holt  24:44  

Absolutely. So in wrapping up here for the men listening to this when we look at this gentleman and what he was able to do in such a short period of time, I mean, a true 10x, right people talk about on a 10x my business whatever this guy did, and one sale, a true 10x, it had to do with the mindset. So if I were to leave the listener, the man listening to this right now what I would ask you is where your mindset is, right? What level are you playing at? And what are your standards? So three questions here. What is your mindset? What level are you playing at? And what are your standards? And also just throw in there the possibility of if you don’t have somebody helping you with your optics, right, you’re looking at your blind spots. That is the first thing to get, right. A coach could be a mentor and could be going through a program like The Powerful Man. It’s really up to you, but you need to find somebody to help you look at those blind spots where it’s a safe place for you to discover what they are because there’s a reason for their blind spots. They’re hidden from you for a very, very specific reason. I’ll give you the cheat sheet. It’s because it’s fear-based. So you naturally find it very hard to find him. So find somebody that can help you do that. And then set your standards and continuously raise them.

Tim Matthews  26:22  

I love it.

Doug Holt  26:23  

Alright, Tim, I think that’s a wrap. Until next time, we will see you guys over in The Activation Method group.

Tim Matthews  26:29  

See you guys!


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