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Episode #80

How often do you think about things that you want to do but put them off?

In this episode, Tim & Doug present another incredibly motivating 30 minutes of audio about how we fall into the trap of procrastinating and putting things off with excuses and lies that we tell ourselves.

“The beggar and the billionaire have the same amount of time in the day” is a quote reference by Tim in this episode to try and explain why we need to stop using time and other things as an excuse not to do things in your life. If your instinct and your subconscious are constantly reminding you to do things it must be with good reason, but if you put them things off all you are doing is damaging yourself, your relationship or your business.

How often do people wait until things are broken to fix them? Discover how you can improve on things by working on them while they are good to break away from the constant cycle of going through bad days to good days, stress and anxiety…Enjoy a life of good days and great days!

Tim explains process of “Feel – Act – Feedback” instead of “Feel – Think – Think….”

Not acting on your instinct, beliefs and inspiration causes you to constantly question it to a point where you will scare yourself out of acting. In this episode Tim & Doug will tell you how, if you act on inspiration NOW, your life will change forever.

What you will discover in this episode:

  • What makes you put things you want to do off
  • How to get over the barrier of putting these things off
  • How your business is directly affected by your procrastination.
  • The BIGGEST change Tim discovered that changed his life.
  • The constant cycle we fall into of being inspired but failing to take full action.
  • How to trust your gut instinct and how it can change everything
  • Actionable exercises to stop procrastinating and start living a more fulfilling life.


Hungry for more?

Head over to our BONUS page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man.

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00  

Whatever it is, you’re thinking, that’s just not the right time. Call your BS out, or I’m going to call you out right now. If you’re even thinking about that, something I’m saying might be true; it starts today. 

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host, Tim “The Powerful Man” Matthews. Tim, how’s it going, Brother?

Tim Matthews  0:26  

Awesome, man. Awesome. I am feeling very excited. You and I have just been brainstorming and planning for the upcoming brotherhood event, which I am about to say where it is, but I don’t want to reveal the details just yet.

Doug Holt  0:41  

No, not yet. Not yet. It’s going to be epic. As we like to say, bucket list events for those that don’t know. They’re listening. Well, Tim, tell them what The Brotherhood is about.

Tim Matthews  0:52  

So The Brotherhood is our upper-level coaching program, I say coaching, but that doesn’t do it justice. The Brotherhood is all about growth, connection, and adventure. Doing epic shit is epic places with epic people, And not everybody gets an invitation into The Brotherhood that isn’t some kind of marketing play or sales play. It’s a reality; guys have to have gone through The Activation Method first. Those guys show that they are committed to that next level to using The Activation

Method as a springboard and a platform. Those are the ones that I get the invitation to for those that choose to step forward, it’s just amazing to see what happens for 12 months in there because so often, we are fed a message through different media channels and marketing channels that change happens overnight, and it doesn’t. We see a fantastic transformation happen for the men in The Activation Method, but then we take the next 12 months to build on that to create a substantial lasting change, And it’s exciting. But the other side of this is, and this feeds into today’s topic, is sometimes men show up in such a big way in The Activation Method. They extend that invitation to join The Brotherhood sometimes, and it always pains me whenever I hear this. Still, sometimes you hear the guy say, “Oh, yeah, when it’s the right time, that’s when I will,” when it’s the right time, that’s when I will insert the blank. Whether it is joining The Brotherhood or joining The Activation Method or leaving the relationship or changing the relationship or losing weight or investing in my business, or whatever it is. I hear it repeatedly; we listen to it throughout the process of guiding men into The Activation Method and into The Brotherhood, but also throughout the process of coaching them to so that segues into the topic that I would like to bring up with you today. That is, “What are your thoughts? When you hear somebody say to you, “Doug, I’d love to do this, but it’s just not the right time.“ When is the right time? That’s when I will boom, insert the blank?

Doug Holt  3:27  

We often hear it and step outside of The Powerful Man as a business owner and someone owning multiple companies. I hear this all the time, And I hear this a lot from people who reach out and want to know, “Hey, how do you start your own business?”, “How do you run seven companies?” and all these things that they want advice, because they want to do it and it’s their dream, etc., etc. But you know what, it’s not the right time I cringe at this point, Tim, because that is almost like a farmer, right? A farmer was going, “I need to harvest my crops in two months. I need to harvest my crops to feed my family to make money. But I’m going to wait three or four months to plant the seeds because it’s just not the right time” that would never happen, right? People don’t realize the right time is now for whatever it is; you have the idea to do it. This is the right time. Because what are you waiting for? You’re not guaranteed another life, at least not in my eyes. I got one shot at this, and as far as everybody I know has one shot, so waiting for the right time is just an excuse that we tell ourselves so we can play small. An excuse so we can repeat the same patterns or the same reasons that we’re not successful. The reasons why our relationships aren’t great. The reasons we’re not in great shape, right? Ah, it’s not the right time, but soon I’m going to start going to the gym, and soon I’m going to start eating well because I know my health is essential then next thing we’ve seen time and time again, right? The business owner or entrepreneur drops dead of a heart attack suddenly, right? Wow, he was so young, didn’t see it coming or things of that nature. I can go off and off and off on this, Tim, because I’m so passionate about this; the only time we have is right now. When I hear people say, “Ah, it’s just not the right time” or, “I’ll join The Activation Method when it’s the right time, just give me more information. I just need more info”, which is, again, another excuse that pains me. Unfortunately, you and I get the opportunity to deal with thousands and work with thousands of men worldwide. We know, when we hear it’s not the right time, we’re going to hear back from these men when it’s too late. That’s sad.

Tim Matthews  5:54  

It is. I mean, wow, I was just thinking, a few instances of guys that happened to, and does happen to some real vivid examples. I think it could be really powerful, Doug. Just imagine what if, instead of being driven by pain, and waiting until things get so bad, that they’re almost beyond repair, that’s when people then take action? What if you were able to be pulled by pleasure instead of that, and you’re able to build on things while things are still good, so it can then be great. But instead, what we see time and time again, is people that wait until they hit rock bottom until a change is the most because of what is going on in their environment. “I’ve got to change; otherwise, she’s going to divorce me” we hear that so often, “I’ve got to change; otherwise, I’m going to lose the business,” “I’ve got to change Otherwise I’m going to have a heart attack.” These are real scenarios that we often hear from men. What if these guys, what if they would have decided they’re on their own accord to make a change when things were still good? Imagine how much further along they’d be than they are today. Now, something you always say is, and I love this, this is one of the many reasons why I love speaking to you so often. One of the things you often say about you and Erin in your marriage is that you guys like to work on things while they’re good. So then you can make them great. Rather than waiting until they hit rock bottom to then after picking them back up to that set point of good because you forever them bouncing up and down off that upper limit of good and shit. Good, shit, good, shit, good, shit. Imagine if you were able to raise that, then bounce off the ceiling and have a good, great, good, great, great, then all of a sudden great becomes a new normal, it’s great and phenomenal, great, phenomenal, great, phenomenal. How much more enjoyable would life be? Instead of waiting until you’re at rock bottom? 

Doug Holt  8:17  

it’s so so true. I mean, when you think about it, we talk a lot about standards. I don’t want to get too off-topic here. But when you look at where your life is today, right? If you’re listening to this, you hear my voice, and there’s an area of your life that isn’t working perfectly, not all the time, but because nothing’s perfect. Still, it isn’t at least, and if you were to grade on a scale of one to 10, the areas we teach in the CoIL, and in The Activation Method, if you’re not at least a consistent eight, that’s a gap. That’s something you want to work on as such. When is the right time to work on that? Is it later? Is there another day that gets to go by where you get to be in pain, where you get to struggle, where you sedate yourself with porn, binge-watching Netflix or TV, or playing video games or something else, or maybe even work right working too much? Being busy, not being productive, And you’re missing out on greatness. Less time for average; this life isn’t meant for you to be average. It is not meant for you to live an average life. That’s not a life; you’re meant for greatness. 

And I can’t remember the name, the number, but I want to say it’s something Tim likes when ejaculation happens, there’s over 250 million sperm on average, and you’re the one that made it. You’re the one! You’re the champion. So don’t waste that time. Don’t waste it being average work on it now. As you said, my wife and I, we saw this early on, and we say, “Hey, look at couples when they go through fights, that’s when they seek out marriage counseling and support help.” that’s a pattern, why don’t we do it before it’s an issue, because now is the right time. So we transparently invest in coaches as a couple. We invest in coaches that will bring our relationship closer, which affects our businesses. When our relationship is better, our companies run better when that happens. Our family runs better. When our family runs better, our friendships run better, it all becomes so easier now, we have a new standard or a unique set point of what’s acceptable in our lives. We work on it now Because that’s when the time’s Right. Right? The time it’s easy to come up with an excuse, the time is never right. I have kids, businesses, friendships, and I like to travel and do fun things. So it’s easy for me to make a million excuses for why I don’t have time to do whatever is put in the blank, right? I’m saying I don’t have enough time. It is not my priority.

Tim Matthews  11:08  

I love it. There’s a quote I heard recently that said, “The beggar and the billionaire both have the same number of hours in the day.” Like just choices, isn’t it? It only comes down to choices, what are your priorities and linking back to the first point here about The Brotherhood and what it is and what happens there. One of its most powerful elements is The Brotherhood element, surrounded by other men who are either playing to a higher level than you currently are or are committed to going to another level. As you said, thereby default, what that then does is it has you reflect and look at the level you’re currently showing up at. You stand a dress because better quality people surround you in terms of when it’s the right time, so often we speak to men that are at the top of the tree within their lives, don’t we? That either the business owner, so they have no one above them to hold them accountable, or call them out. Whatever they often run their families in the sense that they’re the provider. They provide financially, often struggle to give emotionally, and are usually pillars in their community. 

And that’s kind of part of the mask, to be honest. But the point I’m making here is they’re very much at the top of the tree in most areas of their life, or at least they are perceived by others to be at the top of the tree, which then means they can get away with saying things like it’s just not the right time. Because when they look around themselves and look at the life that everybody else is living, they’ve got a great life for the most part. So they’re able to take comfort in that you know what, Doug? It’s quite strange because we’ve spotted a trend in people who don’t attend the enrollment conversation. Now we have a high show-up rate. I think about 70% to 80% show up for our work and our discussions. I love that gap of people that don’t show up. I dissected what I found was, it was the people that had higher revenues. Now, typically over 100,000 a month, they were the people we’re able to delay change. In my opinion, I’m guessing that is because they have the money and the lifestyle, and they have the comfort there around them. So that they can tell themselves, “Well, you know what, it’s just not the right time.” And if they go through the divorce, they’ve always got the money to fall back on. All those are the stories and beliefs that usually go with it. This isn’t me jumping on those kinds of people. It’s just the reality. Now I’ve seen it when we speak to some of these people. As you said, now is the right time; you know how bad things have to get some time before people make a change.

Doug Holt  14:30  

Hey, guys, I had to interrupt the show because I want to talk to you about a case study we put together; it’s only 11 minutes. What we do is we go over and show you how almost 300 men have taken control of their life, already have 4X of business revenue, and are having more connected intimate sex with their partner using The Activation Method. They’re doing all of this without burning down their relationships and without suffering and sacrificing their health. We want you to have this too. So go over to https://www.thepowerfulman.com/bonus/, the number 11. One, one, and get this right now. It’s only 11 minutes, and it’s going to show you exactly how these men have done it. Let’s get back to the episode. I feel like we’re beating a dead horse here, almost. 

Tim Matthews  15:19  

We are!

Doug Holt  15:21  

But it drives me nuts, so there’s a gentleman that you and I are talking to, a fantastic guy. One of those guys that I could see being just a great friend and is a great friend, and I should say, and getting to know him better it’s the same thing we hear all the time. Well, Doug, or Tim, you know what, I’m just so bad, I want to do this, I know, I need this. My family needs me to go through this. So I can be a better father, husband, a better man, but I just need to get my business in order first, man, that’s, this is what got you in the, in the situation you were in before you met us now things are great we love that, right? But you’re ready for the next step. We’re extending our handout and saying, “Hey, here’s the path, and we showed you the path before you trusted us. Thank you for doing that. It was the right path for you, And you got that now you want to wait to get your business, and you’re going right back to the same issue because it’s not the right time?” The truth is, guys, for anybody listening to this, if you better yourself and show up as a better man, will your business improve? Yes or no? It will. The business is only as good as the leader. The business only rises as high as leadership. 

That’s why throughout history, great titans of the industry have given up their businesses to other CEOs who have more experience, who have more knowledge, who can take the pressure. Because growing a business is only as good as the leadership that’s involved in it. It pains me to hear about this particular guy you and I were talking to you. A week ago, he was just hemming and hawing going through the same excuses, and we extended him an invitation out of pure love. We don’t get anything really from this other than helping this guy, And it was, “I just really got to get my work on my business,” and that’s true. But the problem with his business is not the people in his business. It’s not the industry he’s in, and it’s him; the business has only risen to the level that he’s capable of. So he’s going to wait to plant the seeds for a crop that he needs to harvest today. It makes no sense to me, and it drives me nuts because I want to help these guys and almost shake them or shake the crap out of them sometimes. Because then they’re falling into the same fears, the fear of the unknown, the fear of what’s on the other side of their greatness. You and I see it so clearly, look, and it’s okay. Becoming a better man is scary because it’s uncomfortable, right? You’re changing things about yourself, and you’re looking at things in a way that you probably haven’t looked at them. But it’s an invitation, and it’s a journey as you do that, you uplift everything around you. 

So when is the right time to do it? The right time is now! Even if you have a clue inside your body, as you’re hearing me talk about whatever it is you’re thinking of doing, whether it’s The Activation Method. Whether it’s doing another course, starting your own company, growing your company, or ending or starting a relationship, whatever it is. Whatever you’re thinking of, but it’s just not the right time to call your bs out, or I’m going to call you out right now. If you’re even thinking about that, something I’m saying might be true; it is to start today and take massive actions. I’ll even say pause this podcast for the show, wherever you’re watching on YouTube or iTunes or Stitcher, pause this and take the first step, whatever it is. So if it’s The Activation Method, get on a call with Andrew, who currently heads up our enrollment or talk to Tim or Mel or somebody on the team and see if it’s the right Avenue, right? Those guys are going to pre-screen you, two different calls. We make sure it’s the right time for you. This is a movement of men that have come together to better other men. So we’re here for you. But take that action now and put something else to it. Either way, take action now. The right time is now to stop using time as an excuse.

Tim Matthews  19:34  

I love it! Boom! One thing we speak a lot about: The Activation Method is reducing lag time. We talked about this with my brother too. When men come to us, we start working with them. So often, they’re in this pattern of thinking while feeling, so they’ll get the inspiration that “Oh wow, this is a great idea!” or, “Oh wow, I want to make this change!” Whatever it is, I’ll think, and then they’ll kind of act, and then they’ll kind of get resolved if you can reduce the lag time between feeling to act in your life will transform. The biggest change for me in my life over the past and going through my journey and arriving where I am today has been listening to my gut instinct. For 29 years, I ignored it, and I did. I was afraid of it. Because every time I felt something, he was often an inclination or an inspiration to do something terrifying. So what I would do is I would go into my head, I’d think about it, our deliberative, I would wear, and I’d hold off, and I’d wear it. I’d hold off, and then more often than I wouldn’t act on it then, six months later, something happened, and I got the same idea and went through the same process I never used to understand why my life was a pint of stress, struggle, and sacrifice. I was completely living out of alignment with my inspiration and off my path. It was down to the fact that I just didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel worthy of having what I wanted. Acting on my inspiration would have meant facing those fears. So when I realized this and made a commitment, I can’t remember when I ended that relationship. I was called off the wedding, never moved into the house, got rid of the business partner, and changed the business. I could go on and on. But the one promise I made to myself was I was going to do it my way. My way was following what felt right. I can remember that decision like it was yesterday. It was such a simple decision. 

And it’s a muscle at the end of the day. The more you do it, the more comfortable life is and the better results you see And quicker too. What do you do? You naturally want to do more of it the more you feel. The more you act, the more you think, the more you work. We’re really big on reminding the guys that muscles feel, act, feedback, feel, act, feel, feel, act, feedback, instead of feel, think, think, kind of act, and get a result? Is it scary to feel, act, and get feedback? Yeah! It can be at times, and it really can be. But it’s also really, really exciting. Now, I sent you an inbox this morning, Doug saying, “Doug, I’ve just got this feeling, and I’m going to act on it. Because I know whenever I do, amazing shit happens” you were like, “Tim, wow! That excitement in your voice!” I was so excited Because I know that whenever I get that inspirational hit, or whatever you want to call it, and I follow it, amazing shit happens. At least I could deal with it a thing for me that well; I get it some days on a much bigger scale than others. A lot of times, it requires taking a risk. It does. But really, the risk isn’t a financial risk. Although there is money involved sometimes, and the stakes are there and all the rest of it. But it’s not a financial risk. It’s not a risk in time either. Some of these decisions are going to require an investment of time from me. But really, what the risk is the risk in me being seen. That’s what it is. Am I going to go out on a limb here, trust what feels true for me, and act on it? Not having a clue how it’s going to turn out? Am I going to risk being seen in that way? That’s the risk, and when you’re able to realize what you’re risking, unable to be rock solid in your practices and your self-love and self-belief along the journey along the path. It’s very different, very different, and now the time has become so much easier. I’m sure you’ve experienced this. You love this too. 

Doug Holt  24:42  

Absolutely. Without a doubt. I’m sitting over here, both kind of shaking because I’m excited. I’m also shaking, thinking about that guy I was just talking about; I want to shake him. Tim for the men listening to this right now, and the guys that they’re using the excuse, they know they’re using the reason of, “Oh, it’s just not the right time” for whatever it is. We hear it from all areas we hear it and health, we hear it in business, we hear it in relationships, and we hear it. You know about their money. We hear it about them stepping forward to do The Activation Method, our flagship program, which I don’t want to over-promote. But at the same time, I would be doing a disservice if I wasn’t talking about it because I think it’s the best just because I didn’t want people to think I was promoting it. I just think it’s amazing, so for those men that are like, “Hey, look, I want to do this, it’s just not the right time.” What would you say to them?

Tim Matthews  25:41  

What would I say to them? What feels true for you? Make a decision based on what feels right, and fuck the rest. An exercise I’d like you to go through those areas of your life, like Doug was saying earlier, and grade them is 10. Grade your relationships, grade your finances, grade your business, grade your health, grade your happiness, and fulfillment out of 10. If it’s not at least an eight, what gets to change there? I bet that you already know what gets to change, but you’re just not doing it. I firmly believe that we all already have all of the answers. I really, truly believe, and I think you do, too. I just also believe that it’s more than likely that you’re not trusting yourself enough to follow what feels right. So grid those areas, ask yourself what needs to change here and make a decision based on what feels right and do it quickly. Do it quickly. For instance, don’t do anything else until you’ve taken some action to align with what feels true for you. Let’s say you get to have a conversation with someone, message them, and arrange the conversation. Let’s say you get to show up more in your relationship. Get your diary, go out, get some food, and cook a surprise meal for your wife. I don’t know whatever feels true for you. Go and do it and base this on what excites you the most. You get to be playing in an area of what excites you, inspires you, and scares you, then that’s the feeling that’s the arena that you want to be playing in. Because when you do that, you follow that and live life in that way. Well, you can imagine how fantastic an experience becomes, how fantastic life unfolds for you. Day by day, it does if you’re struggling with this and put some alarms on your phone: feel, act, feedback, feels, act, feel, act, and feedback, but just please stop lying to yourself. Now is the time to feel, act, and give feedback.

Doug Holt  27:55  

There you go, guys; feel, act, feedback. Great advice, Tim. Look, the time is now, guys, time to step up to step into the man that you know you are; otherwise, you wouldn’t be listening to us talk right now. That’s the truth of it. The truth is, you would not be listening to us. I’m probably going to piss some people off. But you wouldn’t be listening to this unless you wanted to be a better man if you desire to be better, which mine is to your desire is to be better than taking massive radical action today. Whatever it may be, take some action if you don’t know, raise your hand, and just be like, Look, I’m confused. I don’t know that’s okay, that’s okay. We have a group in the Facebook group for The Activation Method. Go ahead and apply to be in there, post your questions there, get feedback from the other men and the coaches, and get feedback. Honest, raw feedback, not your friend telling you, “Yeah, everything’s good, bro. Just let’s go get drunk at the bar again”. Not that stuff. Just get feedback and take action today. You deserve it.

Tim Matthews  28:56  

I love it. I love it.

Doug Holt  28:59  

All Tim. I think that’s a wrap for another episode. So until next week, guys, we will see you back here at The Powerful Man show. Thanks so much.