Episode #809
Are you ready to transform your anniversary from an overlooked date to a masterpiece of love and surprise? How can you ensure that this special occasion leaves both you and your partner eagerly awaiting the next?
In this episode of “Anniversaries Unveiled,” Doug Holt dives deep into the heart of celebrating anniversaries not just as a date on the calendar, but as a landmark event in your relationship. He shares personal anecdotes and practical tips that can turn your annual celebration into an unforgettable experience.
Doug discusses the importance of planning ahead and breaking free from the monotony of repeating the same celebration year after year. He offers insights into how men often scramble at the last minute for anniversary ideas and gifts, and how simple changes in planning can vastly improve this tradition. From scheduling reminders to brainstorming creative ideas with a community of like-minded individuals, Doug provides a plethora of strategies to ensure your anniversary is both stress-free and spectacular.
Learn to approach your anniversary with the excitement and dedication it deserves, making every year a unique celebration that strengthens your bond and enriches your shared memories. Whether it’s a quiet dinner at home, a surprise trip, or a new adventure, discover how to craft an anniversary that truly reflects your love and commitment. Tune in to start your journey toward an anniversary that both you and your partner will cherish!
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Transcription
Doug Holt 0:00
Anniversaries, we all have them. And we know they’re coming. So how come we failed to meet the requirements, we fell a step to the plate, you know, you’re going to do the same thing for your partner on your anniversary that you did last year, the year before. So what we want to do is break this mold, a conversation I have with my wife all the time is, if we could fly anywhere in the world this year, where would you want to go? And you know, we start dreaming and doing she has no idea I’m planning for the anniversary, you’re showing her that you care. So you want to plan this anniversary well ahead of time.
Anniversaries, we all have them. And we know they’re coming. So how come we we failed to meet the requirements, we failed a step to the plate? I see this all the time when I’ll talk to men and their anniversaries coming up like Oh, my anniversary is next week, what should I do? And I laugh and chuckle and I’ve been there. And I laugh and chuckle a little bit because we know that data is coming each and every time. And odds are, you know, you’re going to do the same thing for your partner on your anniversary that you did last year, the year before something similar in the theme. So what we want to do is break this mold. Now I’m gonna tell you a story. I remember when I was in college, I took a part-time job working at a mall, South Coast Plaza in Orange, and Orange County, California, a great mall, huge. And during this time, I work during the holiday season as well. So I was the stockroom manager and head salesperson for a company. And I’ll tell you what, on about the 22nd of December, the shelves are almost empty, and men would come in run in, and get close to the 23rd. And they would grab whatever’s on the shelf, ask somebody to wrap it for them, and they’d run home. Now I’m talking crazy things like guys would come in and grab a volcano kit, right? And they would wrap it and give it to their wives. Why? Because they would know they knew they needed something under the tree for Christmas, giving to their wife or they’d be in trouble. And they didn’t plan. What caught my attention at this early age was the 25th of December. It comes at the same time every year, the 25th of December, we know it’s coming. So why are we waiting until the 22nd or the 23rd of December to do our shopping to get our gifts, the same things with your anniversary or birthday? It comes on the same day every year. So I’m gonna give you some strategies and some tips on how you can start making things more fun and more interesting for not only yourself, but for your wife, it’s also going to reduce your stress. So being a practical guy, myself, and a businessman, one thing that I’ve learned to do is actually schedule it.
So I literally have it in a project management software that I have to go shop for gifts or plan, just like a project, right? Create a project template for my wife’s birthday or for an anniversary. So for these examples, we’ll just use the anniversary and you can apply it to any other holiday or tradition that you want to. So for our wedding anniversary, I know what day it is, you know yours, right? And if you forgot it, that’s not a problem. That’s what writing it down or putting it in a calendar helps. And then I’ll back out. Okay, so my anniversary happens to be in September. So I know it’s coming in September, then maybe what I’ll do is plan out in June, for an alert to happen an email to get triggered to come to me and say, plan you have one week to plan your anniversary. Okay, so that gives me a timeline. And I have reminders and things coming to me to get plans. I’ll also work with groups of guys that have good ideas, because sometimes you just get stumped like, oh, geez, what did we want to do for the anniversary? Oh, what’s going on around that time? So I might even start the conversation with my wife, you know, a conversation I have with my wife all the time as if we could fly anywhere in the world this year. Where would you want to go? And you know, we started dreaming and doing it. She has no idea I’m planning for the anniversary. But she might say I love to I’ve always wanted to go to quit we just got back from there. So then what I can do is start planning tickets for a trip for her and I got acquired, maybe take the kids, maybe I don’t. I can also plan gifts. What’s a gift, I want to get my wife something different. I’ll also oftentimes outsource this now what do I mean? Actually, really what I mean is crowdsource is I’ll ask other guys. So in the movement that we call the powerful man, we have 1000s of active men, right? They’re very smart. And of those men, they’re not always doing the same thing. So I can just simply say, Hey, guys, I have my anniversary coming up in six months. Any thoughts? Any ideas, recommendations? Right? What’s the best anniversary you’ve ever had? And I’ll get responses from men.
There’ll be really creative, really interesting things that I might not have thought about. And I can liberate, if you will, those ideas and make them my own. There’s nothing wrong with that. Right. I want to create a memorable experience first for me, but then secondly also for my wife, so I can plan ahead. So the first thing I do is look at the important dates. So the number is three mines in September, and I’ll back it out. Right and so say it’s June 8, Doug, you need to start planning, I’ll work at like a project as I would do for a startup that I’m investing in, or anything else I’m working on, I’d work on a project with the end in mind. In September, there’s an anniversary in the end, there’s what I want, here are the feelings, I want my wife to have wanted to be excited to want to be intimate, you know, then I can start planning what that is. Also, trigger something, I’ll be able to buy a gift to get a card, right? You want to break this down like a project that doesn’t take the romance out of it. I’ve heard people say this to me, like, oh, that doesn’t sound romantic at all. And they’ll go, Dude, if you ever missed an anniversary are been a couple of days away from an anniversary and not gotten anything. And I get this all the time. Oh, man, I’ve done that before. It’s horrible. Exactly. It’s stressful. It’s horrible. Your wife knows you didn’t plan it, you know, you didn’t plan it, you try to pass off a card and a good gift card someplace or whatever else it is, and you feel like crap, that’s not romantic, either. But planning ahead reduces the stress, you’re showing her that you care. So you want to plan this anniversary well ahead of time. The second thing you want to do is be creative, and be different, right? A lot of times mental think, wow, what does my wife like to do? And we’re gonna go do that? No, what do you like to do that she also may like to do, then you go do that. Because just like hosting a party, or if you’ve ever been to a party, where the host is stressed, they’re running around, they’re not having a good time. The guests also don’t have a good time. If that’s the case, you can go to a different party, where maybe it’s just pizza, there’s not many that haven’t been set up really well. But the host is having a great time.
That tends to be the experience of the guests as well. So when you’re planning your anniversary, make sure you plan something that you want to do, right and an event that you want to do. Also, take your wife into consideration. Don’t take her to a monster truck show, if that’s not a thing, right? Do something you both want to do and do something different. Maybe it’s going to a concert, maybe it’s traveling, maybe it’s take a dance lesson. Maybe it’s a cooking lesson, maybe you stay at home for an indoor picnic, which I’ve done most of these things with my wife, and they’re fun and they that spiced to the relationship and depending on where you are, in your life in your marriage, or in your financial career that’s going to decide maybe you can’t just go fly first class to cry. But maybe you can do or you definitely can do an indoor picnic and a movie, right, and get popcorn and you make it just like a movie theater, you get the big thing of Milk Duds or candy or whatever. And so it doesn’t. You make it just like a movie theater experience. Except, for now, you have intimacy, right? The ability to do because you’re not doing that in the movie theater, hopefully. So this is something else you want to do you know that date is coming. So you can plan it accordingly. Against crowdsource get some ideas from other men, ideas of things that you can do ideas that are fun, don’t just ask your bros, the guys that your wife knows, because chances are they’re going to do the same things that you do. Right, you want to be playing with guys who are playing at a high level. They’re constantly farming out new ideas. You need to be around men who are playing at a big level. iron sharpens iron as they say. So I’ll ask this in our community. At times, I’ll talk to other guys that I know are also in the same mindset and want to have excellent lives and extraordinary marriages. Like these are extraordinary businesses what can you do? What are the things you want to do? And I’ll even ask my wife from time to time.
And oftentimes when my wife will tell me it’s like she’s I love it when you take charge and planet. Absolutely love it. And so I just do what I think is going to be fun. Another mistake I see guys make is they try to buy their way into the anniversary. They think an expensive gift is going to do it. And it can, but you need to know your wife’s love language. My wife’s primary language is quality time. So I know on the anniversary, she wants to spend time with me. Now she may want the kids there, you know, whatever. But it’s quality time. My wife loves gifts. Don’t get me wrong, but it’s quality time is her number one on her love language list. So you need to know which of the five love languages is your wife’s primary. If your wife’s in order, our quality time physical touch words of affirmation. And gifts is maybe one of the last when you go out and you buy an expensive piece of jewelry to show her how much you love her. Yeah, she’s probably going to like it. But that’s not going to be as quality because she knows all you do is go online or go to the store and buy something for her. That’s gonna be her story. Right? But maybe acts of service are hers. Maybe you do something for her, you fix up her car, you cut down the trees in the backyard, whatever it is. You do that as her gift so to speak. That’s going to fill her love tank more but you need to know what it is. Alright, guys, there’s a lot of little tips here for you. The key here is don’t be the guy that comes into the retail store and asks, you know, 19 year old kid, you know what’s left on the shelves, buys it, and puts it under the tree because he didn’t plan. You know, your anniversary is coming every year. You know the day it’s coming. It doesn’t change. It’s not going to it shouldn’t surprise you at all. You know Just like Christmas or just like tax season, your anniversary birthdays, you know they are, do yourself a favor and put them in some kind of reminder system, like a project management system. So it reminds you of what the days are so you can plan ahead. Heck, even Google Calendar has reminders on calendar dates. You can set your anniversary to repeat every year in Google Calendar or Outlook and have a reminder 234 weeks in advance. If that’s just all you can do, that’s the bare minimum. Whatever you do take some action today to make sure you don’t fall into the same trap on your next anniversary and your end up being a horrible disaster. Instead, make your anniversary something your wife is going to brag to all our girlfriends about because you are the catch you are the prize. As always, gentlemen, I’m in your corner. I’ll see you next time on the TPM show.
