Pain

Do you always feel like something is missing?

Here are 9 reasons why…

It’s not that enjoying your life is difficult, millions of people do it. 

Enjoying it on a consistent basis without worrying about everything you didn’t get done, need to get done and should have done better is what’s difficult. 

You might be reading this and thinking, “this doesn’t apply to me”, if that’s the case then great, I’m happy for you. Truly. 

We all deserve to live a life we love. 

On the other hand, if you’re reading this and you’re finding yourself nodding your head to the struggle to enjoy the moment then I might have something that could really help you! 

You see, for the past 5 years I’ve surrounded myself with businessmen who have figured it out…

…they’ve discovered how to get the balance between business and life in a way that they can enjoy their success with the people they love without worrying about work or feeling like they don’t deserve it. 

Also, I’ve been fortunate to work with HUNDREDS of businessmen from all over the world who are on the other side of the fence….

…they WANT to figure it out. 

They come to us bored, burned out and broken, feeling like they should be further ahead than they are. 

But the truth is, regardless of how far ahead they were they’d still be telling themselves the same story and working harder to achieve more doesn’t fix the problem, it actually makes it worse. 

Here’s what I’ve found to be true from spending time with both of these guys…

9 reasons why you struggle to enjoy your success…

#1: You’re waiting for the rug to be pulled from beneath you 

A common fear amongst the businessmen we work with is that they are waiting for the day that they are “figured out” for not being as good as people think they are. 

They often tell me that they don’t know how they get to where they are. 

Do you ever get that feeling? 

One guy for example, walks on stage to speak in front of the top 400 financial advisors in the US and he doesn’t understand why he’s there. 

Why is HE the one they’re listening to? 

Everyday he’s waiting for the moment that people are figure out who he really is and when that day comes he’ll be out! 

They won’t want him anymore, and then what? 

He’ll look like a failure to his wife, his kids, his staff – everyone who looks up to him. 

This isn’t a problem exclusive to the guys who’ve “made it”, I hear this from men that have set up companies doing high six figures and seven figures but no one is speaking about it. 

It’s an underground parasite that’s draining the fulfilment from great men.  

Maybe you can relate? 

If you can, my advice, speak to those close to you or find somewhere where you can open up otherwise the parasite is going to eat away at you until there’s nothing left. 

#2: You’re living a double life 

How do you handle the stresses of running your business? 

If you’re anything like the guys above here’s what usually happens…

On one side – you look like you have it ALL! 

The home, the holidays, the car, the family, the freedom. 

On the other side – the fear that you secretly wrestle with on a daily basis is draining you and you arrive home on an evening ready to erupt.

Who pays the price? 

The people you love the most – they walk on eggshells around you never knowing which version of you they’re going to get. 

You pour yourself a whiskey to switch off. 

One turns to three. 

Your no use to anyone. 

This isn’t the man that everyone thinks you are. 

And when things get really bad, you turn to harder things to numb the pain and calm a chaotic mind. 

The reality is, no one is perfect. 

We all have a dark side, but it’s in thinking that you’re the only with a dark side that turns your dark side into a pit of shame. 

Ask for help – the chances are that you aren’t a special case, my bet is that there are millions of men out there with similar struggles (we’ve worked with a lot of them). 

The key is to not struggle in silence, that’s a game where no-one wins. 

#3: It’s never enough 

The trouble men are facing today is that they’re living based on a broken system that tries to make you believe that the key to your happiness is MORE. 

MORE money, MORE sex, MORE homes, MORE holidays, MORE watches, MORE cars. 

As soon as you buy into this you’re trapped because if the key to your happiness is MORE then the only way to get that is to work harder, longer, faster so you can have more. 

The trouble is, you never arrive. 

You’re always striving for the next thing, hoping that this one is going to be the one where it’s finally enough. 

But, it never is. 

As soon as you hit it, you go again. 

You’re stuck in a strange place – the more you achieve, the worse you feel. 

Why? 

Because you have everything that you thought was going to make you happy and it hasn’t, so now what? 

Slow down. 

It’s impossible for anything to EVER feel like it’s enough when you’re living life at 100mph. 

Nothing ever has the chance to land. 

Let it land. 

And I’m talking about the small moments here. 

You can’t appreciate your big wins until you let the small wins land.  

#4: You can’t switch off 

You’re always working, even when you’re not working you’re working. 

Your mind is constantly going. 

You lay awake in bed at night going over scenarios in your head. 

Catastrophising. 

It’s exhausting, you wake up feeling like you’ve not slept.

You rely on caffeine to get through the day and this makes it worse. 

You can’t keep up with the pace at which your mind wants to go. 

Anxiety sets in and the day passes you by. 

Day after day, week after week, life passes you by in a blur of confusion, chaos and anxiety. 

Take a stand. 

Say no more. 

Turn your phone off at 6PM, I doubt your business will burn to the ground by morning. 

Workout. Eat Clean. Rest. Look after yourself. 

No one can get the best of you if you’re not getting the best of yourself. 

#5: It’s costing you too much 

Have you ever found yourself asking… “Is it worth it?”

If you have, then my bet is that your loved ones are paying the price for your success. 

In fact, not only that, I bet you are too. 

You’ve sacrificed your health, happiness and relationships, and why? 

Is it really worth it? 

Is it really success without your health, happiness and relationships?

Of course not and you know that this isn’t working for you but you don’t know how to break the cycle. 

You’ve tried many times before to work less, finish earlier and enjoy more time with your family but someway, somehow it always goes back to how it was. 

Why is this?

One of the main reasons we’ve come across is what it means to be a successful man. 

You’re successful when you can hustle, grind and force your way through anything. 

Nothing will stop you, no matter what the price! 

That’s when people respect you. 

You’re in demand. 

You become “THE MAN”.

That’s the old way, and if you’re reading this then I’m going to assume that the old way isn’t working for you just like it didn’t work for me. 

This is where you get to remember why you’re doing this in the first place. 

My bet is it was for FREEDOM. 

FREEDOM for you and your family. 

#6: You thought you’d be further ahead

You thought you’d be fitter, be in better shape, have a better relationship with your wife and kids and that you’d be making more money. 

But, you’re not and it kills you. 

You know you could (and should) be doing better than this. 

The reality is…

You’re always going to think that – we call it “the curse of the achiever”. 

What’s their greatest strength it also their greatest weakness. 

We have a saying in The Powerful Man… the journey is the destination. 

In other words, you’re always going to be on the path, that’s the fun part, learn to balance it and then you’ll enjoy it. 

You’ll miss it when it’s gone. 

#7: You’re lonely

You have no one to talk to. 

You’re the man that everyone comes to, you’re supposed to have the answers but you don’t have the answer to why you feel like this. 

And the worse part…

…you feel guilty because everyone keeps telling you how great your life is. 

No-one gets it. 

You’re like a man on an island. 

Find ‘Your Tribe’. 

A group of men who get it…

…who understand the stresses of running a business and who are also struggling with similar problems you are.

You’re not alone brother. 

#8: You’re exhausted 

It’s often said that time is the most precious commodity in the world. 

I don’t think it is, I think it’s your energy. 

You can have all the time in the world but if you don’t have the energy to enjoy it then what’s the point? 

The problem I see a lot of men struggling with is that even when things are going well they’re too exhausted to enjoy it. 

And when you’re tired, everything seems darker. 

The biggest win doesn’t seem as big, and the lowest low seems much lower. 

I used to struggle with this too, I remember this one time where I got in bed after working 20 hours in the day.

I laid there with a huge smile on my face, feeling smug and proud that I’d done, I was THE MAN, no one could out work me and all I had to do was continue like that and I’d have the life of my dreams. 

Maybe you can guess what happened? 

I burned out. 

And I’d struggle with burn out every few months because my body was in fight or flight mode. 

The stress I was putting my body through caused me to put on weight, lose confidence and lose passion for life. 

But the strangest thing was, no matter how hard I tried to change I always ended back in the same place. 

Why? 

Because I was addressing the symptom vs, the cause – I thought the problem was in how I worked my day so I put in more breaks, a longer lunch, fewer meetings. 

But I’d still end up at the same place because that wasn’t the problem, the real problem was my belief. 

I believed that to be successful I had to work hard, to be a man I must persevere and do it on my own and these beliefs stressed me out. 

When I changed my beliefs my energy changed and I started to enjoy life again. 

#9: You beat yourself up 

Are you regrets haunting you? 

Like a black cloud they follow you everywhere go and no matter what you do you can’t rid yourself of them. 

Not for good anyway. 

One word…FORGIVENESS. 

I think one of the toughest battles men face is the fight to forgive themselves. 

One of their greatest skills is their ability to critically analyse a situation in business so they can turn it around. 

The dark side of that, is if they are training themselves to always look for what’s wrong then they often see themselves in the same way. 

Looking for what’s wrong with them, focusing on the ways they’ve messed up in the past, the lies they’ve told, and over time this eats away at them like a cancer. 

Brother, if this is you, forgive yourself. 

Have the conversation that you’re afraid to have, do the work that you need to do so you can release the burden of guilt, shame and anger that you’re carrying. 

Ask for help. 

Brother, here’s the reality…

You are already a POWERFUL MAN.

You’ve just forgotten how to be one in a world where men have been left behind.

It’s time to redefine what success means to you find inner peace, rediscover your purpose and unlock your personal power…

…so you can LEAD your life, enjoy your success with the people you love and FINALLY feel fulfilled…

…WITHOUT worrying about work or feeling like you don’t deserve it.

Because you do!

Tim Matthews
Founder, The Powerful Man

The Powerful Man

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