This Is A Key Need For A Masculine Man

Episode #701

Have you ever wondered what it takes to cultivate a strong masculine presence within yourself?

In this episode of The Powerful Man Show, Tim and Arthur explore a crucial aspect of nurturing masculine energy – the need for solitude.

By embracing moments of silence and introspection, you can tap into your intuition, gain clarity in your life’s direction, and build unshakable confidence in your decisions. Discover the power of solitude and its transformative effects on your masculinity and relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn the significance of spending quality time alone, disconnected from distractions, and how it can lead to profound personal growth and self-awareness.

Also listen on:

iTunes
Stitcher
Spotify

TRANSCRIPTION

Tim Matthews  00:56

Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Powerful Man Show. I am your host Tim Matthew with my co-host Mr. Magoulianiti. Hi brother!

Arthur Magoulianiti 01:09

Hello. I’m good, thank you. What’s happening?

Tim Matthews  01:11

Yeah. I’m fantastic. I’ve enjoyed doing these past couple of episodes with you. If anyone’s a regular to the show, you will know that we like to batch our episodes. We record a few at a time. And right now, as I’ve said on the last I think I covered it on the last one, not the one prior to that. Mr. Dougie Fresh is doing a road trip across the US. So the wonderful Mr. Magoulianiti has offered his services to step in so that you guys don’t have to get bored senseless by listening to me on my own for three podcasts. Instead, you can listen to the wisdom of this fine man.

So again, you had another great topic for us, right? You were speaking to me about one of the key needs for masculine men. Masculine men, it’s just a key need in order to nurture masculine energy within a guy. And obviously both masculine and feminine energies exist in all of us, men and women. But if you want polarity, you definitely want to be able to cultivate more of a masculine presence so that your partner in an intimate relationship, your wife can basically surrender into her feminine. She’ll do that when she feels a consistent masculine presence in her life that she can trust and rely on, right?

When she knows that that is there and it’s unshakable, quite frankly, hence consistent, that’s where she’s going to be wild and free. And oftentimes men are not aware of this and this is when they fall into dear defend, excuse, explain, react. And a lot of the journey the men make when they work with us is going from deer to wolf, right? Going to wise, open, loving and fierce. And this one thing we’re going to talk about in a minute is a key in order to cultivate that wolf like energy, if you will, as a lot of the guys call it wolf mode. To be in WOLF mode that little bit more, you need to do this one thing. So do you want to reveal the secret as to what it is Mr. Magoulianiti?

Arthur Magoulianiti 03:24

Yeah, thank you. It comes down to being comfortable on your own, right? Comfortable on your own. Being able to spend half an hour without distractions, just being with yourself, okay? The masculine needs, that silent time. And as Tim said, and this is one of the few ways that you can actually really connect with yourself over time by being able to sit with yourself, doing nothing. One of my teachers used to say, get good at being well, what is it? Being impeccable at doing nothing. Right?

And when we say nothing, you’re not on your phone, you’re not journaling, you’re just being comfortable being on your own. And yeah, you can extend this out to being comfortable in doing other stuff without other people because there’s different grades here. There’s guys that cannot be on their own under any circumstances. And so they continually will distract themselves from just being with them, with themselves, their thoughts, their emotions.

So they will go out and they’ll distract themselves. They’ll distract themselves with their phone, with [inaudible 0:04:44] with other people. They’ll go out, they’ll do anything but be able to sit and do nothing impeccably. But this is a real skill that we get to develop because this is, as I said, one of the ways that we really connect with ourselves and listen to the voice inside. Being able to sit and enjoy your own company without doing anything to distract yourself.

Tim Matthews  05:06

Yeah, beautiful. I’ve definitely seen this pay dividends in my life. I remember when I didn’t do this. I didn’t do this for the first 28 years of my life. I mostly avoided this, quite frankly, finding ways to be busy. And it didn’t lead to anything good, that’s for sure. And I remember a period of — I’ll just call it awakening. I don’t mean it in the spiritual sense like I am awakened, but just becoming aware of how I was living and that I needed to change. And that period, really, of change didn’t happen overnight for me. Things tend to happen a little bit slower for me. Apparently, that’s one of the lessons I get to learn in this lifetime.

But nevertheless, this was one of the key things I did back then. I learned to turn down the noise on the outside and turn up the noise on the inside. It’s one of the reasons why we put the men in the Activation Method on a learning fast. We ask them not to learn anything else from anywhere else while they are going through the program, because they’ve been in the habit of stuffing more, more in. More, more, more. Just consume, consume, consume. And it just increases the static. It just increases the noise and takes them further and further away from who they are and their voice and their truth.

As a result, a lot of the men that we work with, be it when they join us or even after they’ve been in the movement for a little while, they often don’t know who they are. They don’t know what they want. Those two things go hand in hand, and oftentimes they end up in this position where they’re afraid to admit it because a lot of their identity has been focused around what they do, right? What’s one of the first questions men ask? Men ask one another when they meet, hey, what do you do? Right?

And they very much confuse their net worth with their self-worth, and it’s just not true. Right? So, yeah, the need to just be the ability it’s not just a need. Right? When you say it, I’m just thinking it’s an ability. The ability for you to just be with yourself, be okay and be comfortable with yourself is huge. I mean, how does this fuel the masculine? Arthur?

Arthur Magoulianiti 07:37

Well, masculine is all about being grounded. And I think this is a great way to ground yourself as well for one, living to the beat of your own drum and getting clear on what that is because as the masculine, you don’t really want to be following too many other people. You be the king of your life. You get to, as I say, follow the beat of your drum. How do you get to figure that out? You’re not going to figure that out by going outside of yourself.

And so the answers are, as they say, it’s become a bit of a cliché, but it’s true. The answers are within you. So how are you going to get to the bottom of that? Yeah, there’s different tools that you can use. You can journal, obviously, you know, work on yourself. Personal growth is what we all about. But sitting on your own and going deep within yourself is definitely where a lot of the answer is going to come from. But it’s not going to happen on the first sitting. This is a practice, right? And what is a practice? Something that you repeatedly do, and over time, you’re going to get more and better rewards from it.

Tim Matthews  08:56

I love the saying go within or go without. I love that. My biggest shifts, and the biggest shifts are the men in the movement. When I see this, they’ve all come from going within. They’ve all come from turning down the noise on the outside. Whether the guys have realized this and began to live a more minimalist life and sold cars because they realize they don’t need five cars look great, they don’t need them. Or they’ve downsized their house, or whether they’ve got rid of some of their belongings, watches, clothes, whatever, and they feel incredibly and increasingly free when they do this. Right?

They become free to be themselves because they’re no longer acting and living in a way to impress others concerned about how they look to others just so they can get validation from them. Instead, they’re learning to give themselves validation by, like you said, learning to tune in to themselves. It’s amazing, right, when you learn to tune into yourself and you follow that inner voice, that confidence that you begin to feel, right? Just learning, okay, I feel like going in this direction and I’m going to do it. The subconscious narrative that you begin to cultivate in that instant is I matter to me, I trust myself.

And by giving yourself permission to listen to yourself and also act on it, it’s a massive act of self-love. Massive act of self-love. People overlook this because it’s so easy, right? It’s often the basics that get overlooked, isn’t it? So often because they’re easy to do and easy not to do. So they don’t come with a great deal of fanfare, yet at the same time they come with so much depth and so much truth. Easy to overlook, but also easy to do and easy to really reap the rewards from.

Arthur Magoulianiti 11:03

Yeah, we talk about this little voice, right? There’s a little voice and there is it’s your intuition, you know, it’s that inner part of you, that connection to the greater universe. How are you going to hear that if you’re constantly in noise and you can equate noise to activity, things outside of yourself? And you’ve all heard that little voice, right? And most of us didn’t follow it initially. It’s like, oh no, I’m not sure about that, we’ll just do something else over here. But to the degree that you tune in and you follow through on what that little voice is saying to you, then that’s when your life will start turning around. But you got to have the quiet to hear it.

Another part of this is obviously you got to be extending this beyond just sitting in silence is being comfortable in your own company, being comfortable in your own company, being able to occupy yourself and do things that fulfill your needs without having the need to rush to find somebody to provide those needs for you. We see a lot of guys get into codependent relationships where all their needs must come from this other person because they haven’t developed the ability to fulfill their needs.

And obviously certain needs you can only get met through an intimate relationship. But there are so many other needs that you can actually fulfill yourself, right, that another person cannot possibly completely fulfill for you anyway. And so you get to develop the ability to entertain yourself in healthy ways. But a lot of guys don’t know what they like. They’ve lost that knowledge about what they enjoy and what they could do on their own.

And so they default to try and find a shortcut by finding somebody else, a connection with somebody else. So this is the other part of it. You got to get comfortable in spending time on your own and being able to fulfill your own needs and desires in a sense that having fun on your own, otherwise you’re going to be looking in the wrong directions for that.

Tim Matthews  13:18

So well said. So what are some of the ways that you do this?

Arthur Magoulianiti 13:21

Well, I’m clear on what I like to do and okay, this is probably not the most healthy thing, but I do like to take like an hour and smoke a cigar sitting outside by the pond, you know. But the water bubbling, you know, could be any afternoon. Doesn’t happen every afternoon, but I’ll just sit down there in the almost silence except for the bubbling of the water and just have my cigar, you know. That’s a nice hour of relaxing, being with myself.

So that’s one way, obviously walks in. Nature is another way. My morning walks on the beach, beautiful way, you know. And sometimes I listen to something. Like today I was learning all about breath work while I was walking along one of the courses I’m doing. But other times I just take out the earphones and I just walk, you know and just be within my own thoughts. So nature is a good way of connecting with yourself and just being those are at least three ways.

Tim Matthews  14:18

Beautiful. So yeah. Look, guys, if this is resonating with you all, which I’m sure it is, the world we live in today is man, there’s so many things fighting for your attention, all of our attention, right? Obviously there are things you can do with your phone, for example. There’s white blockers that are great. There’s things kind of relevant but a little bit different with this. I’m just thinking about how you can begin to disengage from certain things that are trying to catch your attention.

In fact, let’s just stick mostly with this idea of solitude for the masculine. Yeah, look, I don’t really have anything to add, to be honest, because I think you’ve given some really easy ways for the listeners to go ahead and do this and the message is very clear and very simple. Right? Masculine needs solitude, needs it in order to be grounded, needs it in order to be connected to itself. It’s going to get its greatest insights from that place.

And that’s exactly the energy that your wife, your partner, most people in your life quite frankly, want and need from you. It’s the energy that people are going to respond to. You can’t connect to others if you’re not connected to yourself. You just can’t. It all starts with you. So you either go within or go without.

Turn down the noise on the outside so you can turn up the noise on the inside and just trust yourself. Have fun with this. Follow your intuition. Don’t let your mind come in and question whether it’s right or wrong or stupid or whatever. Just follow it. You’d be amazed at where it leads. It can lead to some wonderful places, but you just got to take one step at a time. Without questioning the logic and just embrace more and more solitude because it’s going to lead to wonderful things. Mr. McGoo, thank you very much. Wonderful topic. I love topic of solitude served me greatly. I firmly believe in it. And as Dougie Fresh always says what does Dougie Fresh always say? Mr. McGoo?

Arthur Magoulianiti 16:25

At the point of what?

Tim Matthews  16:27

Yes. Good. I’m glad you don’t remember. I won’t let him live that down.

Arthur Magoulianiti 16:31

Insight, take action. There you go.

Tim Matthews  16:34

At the moment of insight, take massive action. Gents, thank you again for joining us on another episode. It means the world to us that you listen to this. That’s a wrap for today’s episode, so have a fantastic day and see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.