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Mindset Matters: Shifting Your Thoughts In Transitions

Episode #641

Are you struggling with life transitions?

If so, you have an opportunity to cope with life transitions by choosing to adapt to change positively because you are capable of doing great things. It’s time to step up and make a positive difference.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to overcome what’s holding you back so you can change your mindset and what you can do to embrace challenges so you can focus more on what you want in life.

Hungry for more?

Head over to our BONUS page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man. 

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Doug Holt  00:01

Hey guys, welcome to The Powerful Man Show where we help married businessmen save their marriages without having to talk about it, get unstuck and gain clarity in their lives. As I like to say, life is too short for average. I’m your host, Doug Holt with my co-host, Tim, The Powerful Man, Matthews. Now let’s get this started.

When you look at change through a transition or anything else, you need positive adaptations to that change. And the only way you get this positive adaptation is to abandon fear, and abandon basic self-satisfaction.

Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. Tim, thanks for being here, brother.

Tim Matthews  00:46

Thank you.

Doug Holt  00:48

Yeah, it’s a great day here looking at transitions. Something we’ve done before, Tim that we haven’t done a lot of, and I think we should, is really celebrate the men in the movement. You see, guys, if you’re listening to this, and you’re not involved in the movement, we call it Powerful Man, we often spend most of our time celebrating the guys’ wins. I mean, also the guys have some hardships too. But as an organization, as the people who run the behind the scenes, a good portion of our time is celebrating the men.

And Tim, I’m going to read one of the posts. We have a channel in our private community that’s called 365 Days of Gratitude. Now, this is a challenge for guys that come in, they can join in or not, it’s completely voluntary. Guys, if you’re a member, and you’re listening to this, and you haven’t seen that group, just look for it in the community, you’ll find it. And we have one gentleman that just posted on here, I’m just going to read his post and share with you guys and for you listening. And maybe I can get our audio visual guy to post this up there. I want to make sure we take out the names for the person’s anonymity here.

But these are real posts and real shares that men just like you listening have. And this is day one. “I am grateful for a group of like-minded men who are there to listen and help when I need it the most. I cannot express how much help I have had already and what it has meant to me. Thank you for giving me internal peace and external motivation. Without this team, I would just be another stoic, scared man sitting on a barstool, who is insecure about his ex-wife and blames her for all of his problems jumping from one failed relationship to another. Instead, I am finding myself working on fixing my marriage, being a father and finding who I used to be. This is really what is important in life.” And then he has a picture of his family, which is great, just showing them out there.

So, he’s completely, this is one man, in his early days into the program. And like he said I think a lot of our guys listening to this are on the brink of divorce. And they know what’s on the other side of that, Tim. It’s the idea that they’re going to be smart, stoic men, but sitting on a barstool by themselves eating the TV tray dinner. And instead, this guy is finding himself working on his marriage. So, he and his wife are reconciling and he’s being the father that he wants to be as well as finding the man that he knows was always in there. And literally, we get probably two to three of these a day that we could read through. And I’m happy to read through some more, but Tim, I want to hear your thoughts on that before we move forward.

Tim Matthews  03:20

Well, we always say, hell is meeting the man that you could have been. So, that’s what comes to mind when I hear that. And you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, right? A lot of the guys get involved because they don’t have any other men around them that have marriages that they would want to model, or operate or live in a way that they would also want to follow as well. There’s a lot of surface level relationships around them, and they don’t have anyone to turn to. And everyone else looks to them for the answers. Whether it’s people in the community, their employees, their family.

So, being able to find a community of men where you can show up and rise up because he used a team, right? When I have my team around me, it’s about his pack, which I think is an amazing word that he used to describe his pack. So, one amazing man I was looking in the channel then looking through them all, there’s so many of them, so many of these guys choosing to step up and do the work and step to the line. And this is why we started this movement, right, for guys like this and this guy in particular. And all the other guys in the movement that are choosing to do the work on themselves every day regardless of how uncomfortable it may be imperfect, it may be, ugly, terrifying, whatever they’re choosing to step to the line and that line shifts and they continue to step and that’s why we do what we do.

Doug Holt  05:00

Yeah. No, I completely agree. And we always say the hardest thing for any guy, we have a lot of guys that will be like, ah, I’ve been watching you guys for over a year and finally just got on a phone call with one of the advisors. One of those guys here, as one of his wins, I’m just going to read this, it’ll be the last one I read before we get into the show. And he says to his coach, and then we have a screenshot of it. Again, we have a Client Wins channel in Slack that the whole team. The guys that run the behind the scenes of this movement, The Powerful Man, there’s about 36 people. But our channel in Slack, that’s the most prominent is Client Wins, because that’s what we’re here for. All of us have left other careers to be here to serve the men that we serve.

And this guy says, “Hey, look, to his coach, I’m quitting therapy. TPM has helped me 10 times more than therapy ever has, and this is only week three.” Now, full disclosure, we don’t recommend quitting therapy or anything like that. But this is a common theme that we see. In fact, we even have a gentleman whose post I read earlier, his wife’s a marriage counselor, and she’s like, I want to refer all of my clients to you guys. And that’s just such a great recommendation because the things that we teach within the activation method for relationships is really fundamentals. It’s a practical application. We have theoretical, but unlike looking in the rearview mirror, we’re giving men practical tools they could do to turn their marriage around. And this is what their women want. They’re dying for this. And so the women are our biggest advocates.

And again, like you said, these guys that are here, that are stepped to the line, it’s the 1% of the 1%. Because we have, say 100,000 men that have inquired, right, guys on our list, so to speak, very few move forward, just because of out of fear, right. And I get it. It’s scary to raise your hand and admit that there’s a problem. And especially in a marriage when there’s so many ups and downs. You know, when you have an up you think, okay, great, we’re finally out of the woods. We’re good, we’re good. And then it crashes back down. And you deserve something more stable, right? There should be more up. Not like a hockey stick up, although initially that’s what it’s like for most men, because it’s been so bad. But really, what you deserve is a marriage that’s got some stability, some stability in there where you have a partner that’s got your back.

It doesn’t mean she has to understand all the things you do at work and all the things you’re going through. But somebody who supports you, supports you in your endeavors and you work like a team, not a roommate with a ring, but a lover, right? Someone who shares your passions and shares your insights. And so Tim, what we’re going to talk about today is how mindset really matters. And again, our theme for this month is transitions, right? Transitioning from a winter to a spring. And so how do we shift our mindset through these transitions, through these transitory periods? And so that’s what I want to put to the table today.

Tim Matthews  07:45

Hmm, it’s a great topic. As always, we just got off the inner circle call, love those guys. Incredible, incredible men. And what comes to mind for me is the idea of each up leveling, right? Every time these guys set a goal and they achieve it and they reset and they go again, there’s a transition. Obviously, there’s other definitions of transitions that happen in life, be it moving from one career to another, or in relationship, or having kids or whatever it may be, right? But the thing that mainly stands out is when these guys set these incredible goals. We call it the fuck yes life. They set these goals and you work with them. I work with them. Arthur works with them on helping them come up with these goals that are exciting and scary. These goals that make them oh, really? Make them nervous because they’re playing to win.

They’re going to hold themselves and each other to a standard that they see themselves and each other capable of performing. And that’s scary. Because in the process, you realize what you were made of, and you choose to become the man that you see yourself being. And there’s a transition that has to happen there. There’s almost like a rite of passage, or the way that we describe the Alpha Reset is a rite of passage. It’s a rite of passage for many men. It’s the way the men describe it. And the same thing that comes up in terms of managing your thoughts, a big reason why we don’t tell the men what happens at the reset, these men fly from across the world to spend four days with one another and with us.

They don’t know what’s going to happen, we won’t tell them what’s going to happen. And it’s a big practice partly of them being out of control. They’re so used to being in control in every area of their life, and as a result, they get triggered. Thoughts come up, worries, concerns. It’s the same with the guys when they go and set these goals that are exciting and scary and they proclaim them to a coach, they proclaim them to the other men. And they know they’re going to be called forward triggers come up. Old patterns.

For one guy, who wanted to drink a bit, found himself drinking more on an evening. And why am I doing this? I don’t need it. I’m sabotaging myself. I wasn’t drinking this much before. Now I am. What is it? It was a way for him to keep himself small because he was a thread really of who he would become because he knew what it could become. But then what? Then what happens if I really release the bricks and allow myself to really be everything I know I can be? Oh, shit. And the guys know this. So, I think a big piece of this is awareness. You’ve got to have the awareness of when the triggers are coming up and the willingness and openness to be called out and called forward on those triggers and show up and be real with yourself when you are buying into them essentially.

Because it happened for all of us. It’s inevitable. You can change your thoughts around them, you can do various things. But for me, the point I want to make in this is, if you are not being triggered by a transition right now, my advice to you is that you’re not playing big enough. If you don’t have worries, fears, coming up right now, healthy ones, right, as a result of you choosing to play at the level you know you’re capable of playing at. Whether it’s to have the sex life that you want, the body that you want, the business that you want, the friendships that you want, the adventure that you want, the freedom that you want, the fulfill — whatever it may be, then my invitation to you is to play a bigger game.

Doug Holt  12:11

Love it. There’s a great book about transitions that I’ve given out to staff for the companies that I’ve either worked in as a consultant or an interim CEO, or what have you. It’s by Spencer Johnson, it’s called Who Moved My Cheese. And if you’ve read the book, you understand the premise, a very common book to give out to employees or people to deal with change. And essentially, as you go through the book, the premise of the book is you can imagine a giant maze that’s been built by scientists. They put the rat at the start of the maze, the cheese at the end. And the rats run through, finally find the cheese, right. It takes them a while. They hit bumps, they hit dead ends, etc. And eventually they find the cheese.

Next day, same rats, same cheese, same place, all that good stuff. Over time, the rats just know to zip through the maze and eat the cheese. And it’s great, everybody’s happy. The rats are getting fat, this is easy, no problem. And then all of a sudden, what the scientists do is they move the cheese, they move it to another part of the maze. And the rats gets so much stress and anxiety that they almost quit looking for the cheese.

Now, I haven’t read this book in a long time, so I might be getting a little bit of the details off. But the premise is that when you look at change through a transition or anything else, you need positive adaptations to that change. And the only way you get this positive adaptation is to abandon fear, and abandon basic self-satisfaction. So, like you’re saying, this gentleman who’s drinking more. It’s such a common thing with us busy business guys because we drink socially, we drink for business, we drink to remove anxiety. Hence every movie, almost, talks about businessmen having a nightcap and going through there. You could think of Mad Men. But that’s that self-satisfaction.

You get to set that aside temporarily as you go through this transition. And that’s where the mindset, Tim, really comes in for men, is we get to get rid of the fear, right? So, FEAR, False Evidence Appearing Real, or False Evidence About Reality, whatever acronym you want to use. But get rid of the fear that’s holding you back. And also temporarily set aside the self-satisfaction, right? The cocktail, the dopamine hit, or maybe it’s the porn or maybe it’s the TV show, or whatever it is for you. Just set that aside, as you move through this transition. Because a lot of it’s fear, and it’s false fear.

In fact, one of the most common things as you were talking, it just registered for me. One of the most common things that our advisors, so if you get on a phone call guys to find out more about what the activation method for relationships is really all about, you get on a call with an advisor. All they do is they ask you questions about yourself, your situation to see if it’s a good fit. A perfect example is one of our advisors Mo posted this, it was a screenshot from her phone and this guy basically said, hey, look, gosh, my marriage is horrible, but I can’t spend money like this. I got to talk to my wife about it. And Mo said great, just go — basically just go talk to her.

And I’m going to read exactly what this man said back to Mo, because what he did is he set aside his fear. And the fear was spending the money, and having his wife pissed at him. They’re already doing horribly in their marriage, so who wants to add gasoline to that fire? I certainly don’t, Tim. But sometimes you have to step up and do it. And this guy did. He said, “Hey, Mo. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be sending you texts, and I totally respect your time. But I just feel the need to tell you that, his wife’s name, he says that, her reaction to me having purchased this program. The text I got from her was I admire and respect and appreciate that you would take action like that for yourself and for our relationship. She told me that just moments ago with a tear in her eye, that I created a spark inside of her. So, already there is progress.” Right? And of course, Mo says, “Oh, man, send me texts like this anytime. Let’s celebrate.”

Our advisors have these guys back. But this kind of stepped into the fear. Like that’s scary. If you are in a bad place in your marriage and you’re transitioning, you’re looking to transition, going to your wife and saying, hey, look, I’m going to invest in a program for myself and our marriage, that can be scary. Because what happens a lot of times when marriages are going bad, guys, is everybody’s grasping for power, grasping for control, grasping for security. And oftentimes our wives really want to be secure around the money, right? They don’t want us spending money because a divorce, if that’s on her mind, that’s her money, not your money. And so typically, we get scared, guys get really scared of, well, I’m going to stir the pot.

And this is a perfect example of what we’re talking about that positive adaptation requires two things. You have to abandon fear, which this guy did, and self-satisfaction. So, this guy just abandoned fear and just went, hey, I’m going to go talk to my wife about this and just really tell her what it’s for. And if you look at it, it created what he said is she said it took a spark. She had a tear in her eye and a spark back in the relationship that they probably haven’t had in years. Because now his wife’s going, wow, you are committed to working on this marriage, you’re not just talking about it.

You’re not just doing things quietly reading or listening to an audiobook in your car, and you know, what have you in secret. You’re actually going for it. And we look at these changes and we transition from a winter to a spring then. We get to step up big and it requires big transition sometimes. Now, it doesn’t mean it has to be a big move, but we have to do something different. And your mindset gets to be like that we get to focus on what we want, rather than what we don’t want to happen. And that’s a huge shift.

Tim Matthews  17:40

Yes, I love that message. When you say abandon, well, you said abandon two things. One of them was self-satisfaction. Do you mean like self-preservation or self-satisfaction?

Doug Holt  17:53

Self-satisfaction. So, in order to make a transition or a change, right, there’s a reason we’re in there. So, let’s use the guy that you said that you were talking to that’s drinking — finding himself drinking too much, self-sabotage. He gets satisfaction out of drinking. There’s a dopamine hit, there’s a chemical reaction. Again, we can do a big thing, I’ve been going down the rabbit hole as you know, Tim on alcohol because one, I like to drink, so it affects my life. But it also affects the men that I work with. So, I’m really diving deeply on how to help men reduce their alcohol intake should they choose to or abstain completely, should they choose to. Not from a place of judgment, from a place of what serves you to your highest level?

Now for that guy, he has to abandon that basically filling his cup, so to speak with alcohol just temporarily. Or if you’re losing weight, right? You’re losing weight, you might have to skip that nightly ice cream, right, temporarily. You have to make a shift. And that’s where it comes in. I’m not saying by any means that you need to flog yourself or beat yourself up or any of that crap. All I’m saying is according to that book that I mentioned, Who Moved My Cheese, you have to abandon fear and self-satisfaction for a little bit on some things, not all things.

Tim Matthews  19:09

Yeah. It’s almost like the quote, get uncomfortable, right?

Doug Holt  19:14

Yeah, get uncomfortable. You also get to in a transition. I think when we talk about mindset and transitions, you really need to get clear on what’s going on. And guys that are out there that have talked to one of our advisors, I can guarantee that you’ve had an insight that you didn’t have before. That’s what the advisors are doing. They’re giving you insights. If you haven’t talked to one of our advisors, go over to the powerfulman.com, click the get started or just learn more. And you can schedule a time that’s convenient for you to get on a quick phone call with one of our advisors. You do have to fill out an application. This is not for everybody. We have limited slots. We want to be respectful of your time and we request you be respectful of hours.

So, with that said you could get an insight because you need those insights to transition. You just do. You don’t just automatically transition. Look, so it’s winter here where I live. I live in the mountains, I grew up in Southern California, so it’s new for me. Where I grew up, you can just plant seeds almost all year round and they grow. Here, we have a season. So, I have to time it right when winter transitions to spring and then I got to prep the soil, I got to prep the ground to plant the seed. There’s work to be done for that transition if I want something to blossom.

Same thing with my marriage, right? If there’s a problem in my marriage and my wife and I are fighting, I get to look and have optics on exactly what’s going on. I need to know what the problem really is. Is it me? Is it something that’s occurring for my wife? Is there something she’s going through and then taking it out on me because I’m the closest person? We all know we do that. Or is it something else? I need to know I need to have optics on that and I need to get my mindset shifted, so I can correct and solve the right problem.

Tim Matthews  20:49

Yeah. It reminds me of the four stages of learning, right, because in a transition, you’re going to learn something new. There’s going to be that phase where you’re just going to suck and some people want to avoid the phase where they’re going to suck because it’s too painful. They don’t want to get it wrong. They don’t want to fumble, kind of like the fear comes in at that point as well. But it’s like anything, you’ve got to be able to go through that phase where you suck in order to actually get to the phase where you kind of figured it out.

And then you’re actually getting to the phase where you know what you’re doing, right? Whether it’s through how to validate your wife, communication, having her feel, seen and heard. You talk a lot about women wanting three things, seen, heard, and desired. Whether it’s approaching your wife, whether it’s something in business. Whatever it may be, if it’s something in you, you are going to go through that phase where you suck. And if you take that personally and you want to go back to comfort, to your point, the self-satisfaction, then you’re going to want to avoid the pain, avoid the things that have been revealed to you about yourself, the opportunities that you have to learn and you’re never going to actually make it through the transition.

Doug Holt  21:58

Yeah, you won’t. And embrace your suck comes out of the military. That’s where it came from, the US military. And it’s very commonly used. It’s like, hey, there’s an uncomfortable thing I got to do, I’m going to embrace the suck. When you embrace the suck, it allows you to get into flow. So, as you know, Tim, I got injured. I tore my labrum and had a cervical spine injury, so I couldn’t work out for five months, almost, which sucked. So, and I didn’t — quite honestly, I didn’t do all the other stuff I could have done. So, anyway, I took some time off. I’m just getting back into it, signed up for CrossFit again. And I jumped into it and talk about embracing the suck. You know, they’re giving me my old weights, they’re giving me old times that I’m working out. I’m like, oh my God.

So, I’m going through this and I remember specifically I am doing exercises for the routine. And this one happens to be box step ups, 24 inch box, no idea what that is in centimeters. But 24 inch box and I’m stepping on with weights that are heavier than I should be doing coming back into it. And I know it, I know it, I’m a guy though. And I’m like, fuck, this sucks. And I just started laughing to myself. And I go, oh, wow, how grateful am I that I’m able to do this. And I changed my mindset to what I wanted versus what sucked. Right? What I want is, I know what on the other side of this, it’s going to take three weeks or so to get over this new soreness thing again. Doms is going to be horrible. And it is, by the way.

But three weeks later, a month later, I’m going to be back maybe back to my old weights and times, which puts me very competitive for my age. And I go wow, if I keep this up, two months from now, if I’m progressing based on when I stopped, I will be considered on the way to be a competitive athlete at 46. So, I’m excited about that. But I got to embrace the suck first. If I skip the suck, I’m like, ah, so sore, this sucks. I don’t want to do this. I’ll never get there ever. This goes for your marriage. This goes for your business, guys. If you’re not willing to pick up the phone and make that call, never going to move, never going to move the needle if you’re not willing to have that conversation with your downline or anybody else within your company that’s not performing, you’ll never move.

In your marriage, if we’re not willing to do the work, if you’re not willing to do the activation method, use the triad of connection that we teach. Which we have podcasts, we give this away free for you. If you’re not willing to do the work, it’s not going to change. You can’t survive on hopium. And so many of us, Tim, we focus on what we don’t want. I don’t want to get divorced. I don’t want to be fat. I don’t want to have my business collapse or whatever it is, and we ended up getting what we focus on. Right?

Guys learn this so clearly when we do the Alpha Reset, which is our four-day immersion experience, which guys you got to go to. It’s the best. And you can talk to any guy that’s been there and I guarantee 100%, 100% of men will tell you it’s a life-changing event. So, you got to get there but the point is within a transition you’re mindset matters. That’s the key. You have to shift your mindset, your mindset gets to be focused on what it is I want. So, guys, here’s what I want you to do coming out of this conversation, and Tim, I’ll pass the mic to you. But one thing that I’m going to challenge you doing this, so if you’re listening to us on the treadmill, in the car, walking the dog, wherever you are, this is a direct challenge to you. It’s two parts.

First part, write down, I do mean write down, you can type it. Write down what it is you want. What did you want in the five territories? So, the five territories are a refresher. For those that are new, self. What do you want for yourself? Your personal self, your filling your cup. Self, health, what do you want for your health? Truly. Are you as healthy as you could be? Again, we talked — Tim, you brought about alcohol, which is something I’m diving deep into, and I’m learning so much that I thought I knew a lot and I did. But I’m learning so much more, which is great, which is taking me down all kinds of rabbit holes on health.

So, health, wealth, right. Wealth is more abundance, but also money. What’s your take on it? What do you want to be? Relationships, your marriage, relationships with your kids, your friends, where do you want that? What do you want in these categories? And your business. Where do you want your business to be, truly? If you release the brakes, which is the topic that we did for over 40 men in Cuba, it was an amazing experience. Go back and listen to the Cuba recap if you haven’t, but write those down five territories, self, health, wealth, relationships and business. That’s number one. I did tell you there’s two parts to this challenge.

If you are a member of our community, you are an alumni, you’re in a group, post your results, what you wrote down into our private community, you have access. Alumni, whether you’ve been alumni six years ago, or today, you still have access to that community. We make that available for you. If you need help logging in, just email Tim@thepowerfulman.com, and he’ll get back to you. And then what I want you to do if you’re not part of our community yet, one, I’d like to invite you to get on a call. Two, go over to the free Facebook group. We do have a free group on Facebook. I’m not on Facebook very much, you may not be either, no problem. But just jump in there. Look for The Powerful Man group, go ahead and get in there and post there.

Now why am I saying post? The reason I’m saying to do this is first of all, only 1% of you are going to do it. There’s over 100,000 of you listening right now, 1% or less will actually take action, privately. Not including the posting part, just actually doing the work and writing down in their five territories, taking the time of what it is they actually do want. And then there’s a smaller select group of you who are actually going to post your results. Tag Tim, tag myself, wherever you post it, I would love to see it. Those are the guys I can guess, and I’d love to hear your opinion here, Tim; those are the guys, whether they join our program or not, those are the guys that I would bet on are going to get results.

Tim Matthews  27:53

Yeah, I see guys that are just going to take imperfect action, burn the boats, right. I love it. Yeah, you raised a great point around controlling the narrative. Like you said, we did it, release the brakes in Cuba. It was a theme. There were a few key teachings, a few key core components really, that came out of that. One of them being the idea of controlling the narrative. We put the guys into various stressed positions and really got them to become aware of the narrative that was coming up for them, and then change it. And that’s exactly what happens in transitions.

It’s like yesterday, right? So, I go into my PT session with a trainer that I’ve hired and been working with him for a while and he’s an amazing guy. He’s an ex World Champion kickboxer and bodyguard, MMA fighter, all that kind of stuff. And we’re leaving here, this location where we live this year at some point, and I said to him, hey, we’re going to be leaving, and I want to get as much as I can out of this. This is what I said a few weeks ago. I want to open it to twice a week and I want you to push me and challenge me and just give me everything.

So, anyway, walk into there yesterday, bear in mind it’s only week two post Cuba. He said right, today’s session is going to be brutal. I want to get you to the point where you need a rest and you are crying out for a rest. And at that point, I want you to ask yourself do I want a rest or do I need a rest? I’ve got 10 rounds. Here’s the station’s bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, one minute rest. As we’re going through those 10 rounds, every time I’d like show a little bit less power or drop my guard a little bit or be a little bit slower. I’d go, want to rest or need a rest? Want a — and it was so empowering and energizing, right? You’re like fuck.

But by the end of it, I’m asking myself the question, do I want a rest or need a rest? Come on, keep going, keep push, push, push, push, push. And it’s that whole thing of controlling the narrative in the transition. In between each station there was a transition. I had to go at each station as though it was the last, as though another station did not exist and you gave it your all. The narrative that came up in that transition, in that one minute walking around, can I do it? I don’t have any — I had to control the narrative. This is why I’m here. This is why I’m here. This is what I want. This is why I asked for. And just reinforcing things and reinforcing things.

Was I perfect with it? No, not at all. But just being aware of the narrative and being able to lean into it just like you were with CrossFit, just like the guys did in Cuba, just like anyone is leaning into a transition, and doing the work is going to come up and being able to control it and continue to take that imperfect action is key. Otherwise, you’re not going to make it through the transition.

Doug Holt  31:03

It’s so true. And we talked about it. You know, look, guys, if you’re listening to this, a lot of you are and you’re having problems in your relationship, in your marriage, I get it. I was there. And I go through it from time to time. It’s not like my life is perfect all the time. Like, there’s no, you know, as they say, rainbows and unicorns coming out when I go poop. There’s none of that. So, life isn’t always perfect, but I have a great life and I’m very blessed because of that. And I want you to have it too.

But working on yourself, taking action, like this gentleman that said, hey, look, I got to ask my wife. And I don’t think it’s going to work. And he was talking to his advisor Mo, who’s an amazing advisor, by the way. Shout out to Mo. If you guys have talked to her, you know exactly what I’m talking about. She’s one of our advisors. But you know, he’s scared. Like, that’s hard. That’s hard to have that conversation. But you know what’s harder? What’s harder is being in a marriage that’s unfulfilling. What’s harder is being in a marriage where you feel like your wife is a roommate with a ring.

What’s harder is being in a marriage where you’re lying six inches away from your wife in bed, but you feel like you’re six miles apart. You don’t know if you can touch her or you have a story that if you touch her, she’s going to reject you. And she doesn’t want to be around you. And why is she on her phone? Is she chatting with another guy? What’s going on? That is hard. You get to choose your hard. You take the hard route of getting on a call with an advisor and actually making a shift and a change in your life. Or do you take the hard route where you just basically become a simp and just suck it up and decide, hey, this is — I hope something changes sometime. I hope it happens and live off hopium. One gives you the opportunity of change, one does not. Both are hard, choose your hard.

Tim, it’s always a great conversation. Thank you to the team for putting this out there. Make sure you guys as you’re going out of a winter and into a spring or any other transition you’re doing remember, it’s all about mindset. And how you change your mindset and show up will make all the difference. I’m looking forward to you one percenters and seeing your homework. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.