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How To Stay Engaged Yet Indifferent

Episode #664

Are you looking to reconcile with your partner? You can do that with engaged indifference.

So…what does it mean to engage indifferently? 

It means setting a firm boundary and communicating a clear and non-negotiable limit to your partner regarding what you will and will not tolerate.

It’s time to protect your emotional well-being and work on yourself. 

In this episode, Doug and Tim discuss why setting a firm boundary is important and what you can do to maintain the connection with your partner because you deserve everything in life.

Hungry for more?

Head over to our BONUS page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man. 

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Doug Holt  01:05

Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. Great to have you here. Tim, great to have you here too, my friend!

Tim Matthews  01:12

Yeah, likewise, I missed you last week.

Doug Holt  01:14

Yeah, I miss being here. But you know, being at the Alpha Reset, leading nine men with the other coaches and staff. Those are experiences that you just can’t replace anywhere else.

Tim Matthews  01:26

Yeah, I’m with you. When the sun like an incredible one as well.

Doug Holt  01:30

I was just, these guys are absolutely amazing. I can tell you stories and stories. And you know how it is. So for those that aren’t aware that you maybe are new to this show. The Alpha Reset is a live event that we put on. And it’s not hyperbole, you can see the testimonials but guys will say it is the most transformational experiences I’ve ever been including marrying their wife, including having kids, which are huge accolades. One of the guys there Tim, is an older gentleman will mention his name. But his wife passed recently, right, so his wife passed away, which also guys a reminder, you never know how much time you really have.

However, he would describe it, I’m going to paraphrase that his marriage was horrible. I mean, absolutely horrible. He and his wife are disconnected as a sexless marriage for over 20 years, to give you an idea. And he found the powerful man who joined the activation method, which is our flagship coaching program, on how to save your marriage without talking about it. He decided to join it, and didn’t know his wife was dying, by the way, right? And he knew his wife, his wife had a serious medical condition. So she wasn’t well.

And for six months, he was able to reconcile his marriage and provide his wife with the marriage of her dreams, according to her that she had always wanted. Now, they’d been married, I think, for 30 years or so. Have kids together, kids are grown up, they’re adults. And she passed. And when she passed, she told him, she told their kids how amazing it was to have him show up, how have him show up as the man that she has always wanted.

So she was able to live her last remaining months on this earth, very happy and satisfied, to have him show up. And it was really neat at the Alpha Reset. His daughter shared that not only had it forever changed his life going through the program, but it had forever changed hers. And she thanked him by saying, Dad, the fact that you joined The Powerful Man and did the activation method was the greatest gift you could ever give to me because mom before she died, had said how amazing it is to have you show up in this way.

And so this is just one of the — it’s just one guy out of nine. The stories are endless, of course, as you know, to him because you you’ve done these. But these are real men, these are real men just like you the listeners that are going through this experience the Alpha Reset, we hold it tight. It’s very tight lipped on what happens there because it is an experience. It’s a very intense experience and the sense of transformation that occurs there. And one of the things is the guys will always say just go, just go. And all nine of these guys walked away forever transformed. They’re going to be better husband’s better fathers. Some of the men are going through divorce, right? Some of the men are still married. One is a widower, as I as I said, but all of them are going to go back to their communities and their families, better men and more importantly, more fulfilled for themselves.

Tim Matthews  04:29

Yeah, warms my heart and a major, major way. It’s why we do what we do. It’s incredible. Like you said, Doug, there’s lots of testimonials out there, you can always head over to thepowerfulman.com/results/. You’ll see a lot of them on there. There’s the ones that released. Yeah, it’s a true gift. To be in that experience with those men as they go through is just incredible. I always say for some reason, you know, TPM, self-employed tomorrow and never got to do this work again. Have died incredibly happy man. The things we’ve got to experience with the men over the years in the Alpha Reset and activation method, it’s just yeah was just do not come close.

Doug Holt  05:13

I couldn’t agree more. So that’s why I was out last week and I missed you as well. And now here we are. So Tim, I got a sick kid. So guys, I’m a real dad, real husband, I do have a kid’s got a fever. My wife is taking my daughter to an ENT just to check out her ears. You know what’s weird, man is when kids are as young as my daughter. There’s nothing they can do. And they have fluid in their ears. And no procedure is nothing. So we are getting to a specialist just to see. So I do have a son watching cartoons, the bait the digital babysitter.

So if we do hear noise in the background, I apologize, guys. It’s funny, I had a meeting before this time with a guy in the UK. And I told him the same thing. And he said, Ah, he’s like, man, my son’s sick too. So he might come in as well. And we just commiserated on being dads who work from home, how much we get to enjoy this lifestyle, because I get to see and really soak in all of these nuances that I would miss if I was in an office.

But the same time, you know, my little guy might need me. So listeners, I apologize if you do see a little guy yelling and screaming. Right now it is knocking on my door just to let me know if the cartoon stops. Netflix does that for certain shows. Boba is on the playlist. But Tim, yesterday, I held office hours again, for the guys that don’t know, when you join the activation method, you’ll get individual coaching as well as group coaching. When I say individual coaching, your coach is going to meet with you to talk about how to get you orientated.

And then you’ll be put into a select group, small group of about eight to nine guys roughly. And in that group, you’ll get coaching and then you also have what are called office hours where Tim or myself or Arthur might jump in or another coach, and you get to ask any questions and men from other groups can come in, it’s a chance for guys to meet each other, but also ask some deep questions. So I got a follow up question from yesterday’s talk to him. I thought I’d throw that on the table. And we could do some live coaching here. How do you feel?

Tim Matthews  07:10

I feel great. Let’s do!

Doug Holt  07:11

Awesome. This gentleman’s name is Dan. And I’m going to paraphrase some of the stuff as I read through it. But he says, “Doug, thanks for today. You’re a much better coach than Tim. I was good. It was good to hear how engaged you are with the guys and stayed interested and show interest in all the conversations. I’m sure it’s hard, because I’m sure you generally are interested. But I comment on this because I can’t seem to show that level of interest to my wife, even though I generally am. I have posted this question before, but I’d like to get your answers. My wife asked for divorce for the first time in January without actually contacting a lawyer. So eventually, I realized it was a request for a change”. Smart man, right? He’s already seen that.

“Much like you were talking to one of the guys she wants to divorce from Dan 1.0. Don’t blame her. That guy was an asshole. Her requests admittedly elicited a reaction from me, but eventually, what I considered as a response. The problem is that she is so uninterested right now that I really don’t think she notices. I go out on my nights away, she doesn’t ask what I do, have completely changed my lifestyle. She doesn’t seem to care. She has a guy that she is interested in”. There we go.

“That she does all of these things with. She says it’s not physical, but refuses to stop when I say the relationship makes me feel uncomfortable. She’d negatively affect the safety of our relationship. She wants to stay together because she can’t afford to be a part. And this guy isn’t actually offering a real relationship or her an actual way out for her”. I’m paraphrasing because some of this is mistyped.

“He is offering escape. So I don’t really know what to do. I have a really hard time both being engaged and indifferent, especially when she’s around. If she’s left pursue this guy, I’ll be fine with it. I’d move on. But the way that she is going with getting her bucket filled by him and then constantly tipping mine has been difficult. I feel I’ve made progress. No, I’m not down 2.0 yet. Maybe I’ve upgraded to shitty windows 95. And the upgrades I’ve made are hurting our relationship. I guess I just wish I could get some credit for my efforts, which obviously shows I’m still very concerned with her reaction towards me. And obviously, like you mentioned, she consents it”.

It’s a long post. “But if you have any advice, I’d love to know how to increase my indifference. I would appreciate it again, you are much better coach than Tim”. So some of that is I added on but I’ll let you figure out which parts I did. So yeah, Tim so one of the things I was talking to the guys yesterday to give you context on this as I was describing myself previously as Doug 1.0. Right? And how you know Doug 1.0 just laugh at him because he shows up sometimes the old version of me. And so that’s what Dan is referencing here with the Dan 1.0 versus Dan 2.0. Anything you want to dive into there?

Tim Matthews  10:11

Wow. There’s a lot, right? It’s kind of like 1.0 is deactivated. 2.0 is activated, isn’t it?

Doug Holt  10:22


Tim Matthews  10:23

So that, yeah, Dia versus Walford could probably fall into that too. One of the first things that comes to mind for me is the podcast number 663. A woman’s tech wide neediness is such a turn off. It’s great that that was done with a net. And with Mo and some of the insights they shared, we were really surprised. And it was, it was great to hear from a woman as well. So I’d really, if I were you go and listen to that. And obviously, you’re in the movement. So if you want to reach out to either those two women and have any questions, or the benefit of being able to do that, as well, because you’ve got communication lines with them.

Yeah, look, brother, the first thing I’m just gonna talk as I’m talking to you, the first thing that comes to my mind for you, brother, that is a fact that you get to get clear on what you want, just because you’ve been done, or whatever the name is 1.0, it doesn’t mean that you deserve to be treated in the way that you’ve been treated. Right? I get that a lot of guys want to take responsibility for the role that they play in their wife having some kind of affair. At the same time, in my opinion, I personally, and this is just my personal opinion, for me, that is not an excuse, or a reason that makes it okay to go and do that kind of thing.

For me, I just wouldn’t be accepting that. But that’s just my opinion and my approach. Now wouldn’t be waiting for her to stop that relationship, especially if part of the reason why she can’t be with be on a run rather, is because she doesn’t have the financial means to do so. I would not be in a relationship just because I provide some kind of financial stability to somebody, I’m just not going to do that. It’s not how I operate. It’s not the rules within which I would engage in a relationship.

So it’s a little bit different to engage in difference. But honestly, it gets me fired up. Just knowing that you’re in that position. And, and you honestly are allowing yourself to be treated that way might sound harsh, I get that everybody’s different. But the reality is, if you’re talking about engaging in difference, one of the big ways you can go about that is not tolerating certain things. And it’s not coming from a place of trying to be indifferent. It’s coming from a place of genuinely not giving a shit because someone’s crossed a line that you are not going to accept. And if they’re going to choose to continue to cross it, then cool, that’s their choice, there will be consequences.

And you are not going to wait around for them for the day, they may or may not choose to stop doing that thing. It’s just crazy, right? As you kind of think about it in that perspective. Because yeah, that is going to fuel some of you need and it’s the reality is you are being you are being needy right now. The fact that you are allowing her to behave in this way, and you’re asking for her to please stop, it makes me uncomfortable. And she isn’t, and there is no consequence. And you’re continuing to change. And you are waiting for her to give you a pat on the back and a nod of approval.

These are all examples of you need an external validation from her. And that is the complete opposite of engaging difference. Engaging difference is a point you arrive up on the journey while you continue through the work on yourself and you do the work on yourself for the right reason, which is I’m changing for me. Because I recognize that I want to be a better man for me. If you’ve got kids that might be so you can be a better father, to your partner might be so you can be a better husband. Right? Doesn’t mean you become a doormat doesn’t mean you need someone’s permission to change doesn’t mean any of those things.

And in the process of you realizing what it means to you, for you to become a better man for you. And you start to listen to yourself and do things for yourself and speak up for yourself and act in alignment with how you see yourself. All these things begin to build your self-image and the self-esteem that you have which in turn, fuels your level of confidence and helps you to detach from needing other people’s validation and approval. At that point, engage in differences, you just can’t, it’s not something you trained to do, it’s not a trick, or a tool, it’s just kind of who you are, and how you offer it. Right?

And you begin to recognize her mood is her mood and all the other things, it’s good to, you know, it’s good to understand the psychology behind it, which we cover a lot in the hidden motives technique, as you know, but I really want to emphasize for you to continue doing the work for you. And to continue to lean into what you want, not what you want, based on if she is willing to go that with you, you get to take control of what you want for you, and head in that direction, without waiting around. So whoever it may be, gets me fired up this really gonna swear that I can see you smiling. Just gets me fired up.

Doug Holt  16:00

Well, yeah, I mean, you and I have somebody that we’re really close to within the movement that went through something very similar. And I think that’s why it gets both of us very fired up as we see these guys. And unfortunately, sometimes being taken, oftentimes being taken advantage of, right, these are great men, called nice guys, but also great men who are getting taken advantage of by their woman, quite wet, honestly. And unfortunately, Dan, when he you know, I’m just gonna let you know that person that I think Tim and I are both thinking of somebody we love dearly. His wife also told him, it wasn’t physical, many, many, many times over and over again, until he found out that it was — just to be transparent.

So that does happen, believe it or not. People do lie. People do hide their out of shame, guilt, or necessity, their past, their transgressions. So I’m not saying your wife is lying to you, by the way. But it does have all of the ingredients of an affair that are there. She’s refusing to stop seeing this guy. She’s doing all the fun things with him. You’re a man, right? You’re a man? How often are you hanging out with women that are attractive and assume your wife’s attractive, or you hang out with attractive women that you’re having a lot of fun with, over and over and over again, with no hope or desire to be sexual with them. Doesn’t happen typically, right?

Now, there’s exceptions, we all have friends and things. If this man has a solid relationship, let’s just say or he’s gay or whatever. There could be possibilities here. But odds are it probably has turned physical, or it will. Now with that said, you know, Tim, you’re spot on. And I’m going to add on a couple things that I’m seeing right away. One again, I’m gonna go back to the odds that that probably is physical, it probably is. And you need to draw a hard line a boundary, right? And just say, no, this is not acceptable. And if she refuses to stop seeing him, then you need to protect your house, so to speak yourself. And if something’s not acceptable, you need to stop it right, or cut the toxic relationship out.

So Tim would never do this, but I’ll use him as an example. Let’s say theoretically, Tim starts lying to me. And that’s why being in a relationship with someone who’s lying to me is not acceptable to me. And so I say, I called him out on it. I’m like, Tim, you know, I caught you lying. You know, that’s not acceptable to me, that’s a boundary for me, you can’t do that. And then he continues to lie time and time again. Well, then I need to remove Tim from my life. Just, you know, if he wants to come back later on, we can talk about it. But he needs to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that, that is not acceptable for Doug, that is, if you want to be in relation with me or relationship with me, you cannot be a liar. You just tell me the truth, we’ll handle it. And it may not be something I want to hear, right? But we’ll handle it together. And we’ll have a conversation about it.

Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. But not a lie. A blatant lies is not acceptable to me. And therefore, it’s something that I will have to eventually cut that person out. So this is the same situation. So if my wife was spending time with another man, and I felt it was causing a rift in our marriage, then I wouldn’t be beholden to take the leadership position in that relationship. It’s my job to be the leader. So I will sit my wife down. So this is not acceptable. One is it’s not good for me. Right? It’s not acceptable for me. Two, I don’t think it’s healthy for you. Right? Because you want to be in this relationship with me. Three is I am the protector of the third entity, which is our relationship, right? So there’s three entities, there’s you, your partner, and the third entity of your marriage. And you guys are the protector of that.

Now, more often than not, as Dan is alluding to here be Windows 95 Upgraded or Dan 1.0 is oftentimes guys, we need to protect our marriage from us, from us. And that’s why we have to take massive action at the end of all these podcasts you’ll hear me often say with a moment of insight, take massive action, and that’s what I’m talking about. Right? Sometimes we are the person that we need to protect ourselves from our marriage. And that’s by educating ourselves as by taking actions by getting the tools. It’s like joining the activation method, going to an Alpha Reset.

It’s only a four day event that will change your life. 100% of men say that, and that’s no hyperbole again, 100%. So those are the things that you want to look at here, Dan, but you do need to draw a line in the sand. Hey, look, this is what I would do if I was with you in your situation. And I’ll talk about engaged in difference because I got a tip for you on that one, too. But I would sit her down and say, Babe, look, first and foremost, I love you. And I realize that you’re hanging out with this other guy, I just wanna let you know that that’s not acceptable. I, you know, for me as a man, as someone who loves you dearly, also for our marriage, the sanctity of our marriage, if you want to do this, I can’t stop you. I don’t want you to do it. But I can’t stop you. But I have to protect me and I have to protect our marriage.

So if you want to continue seeing this guy, then you have to move out. And I need a decision in the next 24 hours or less on what you want to do. And I wouldn’t do it from a place of just ultimatum but it’s almost like I just said I have a six year old that who is sick upstairs. And sometimes the sexual just wants to do stuff a six year old wants like he’s gonna want candy ice cream. He’s gonna want shows all day. Right? If given the opportunity, however, I as his father, I know best. And it’s my job to protect and be firm yet loving. I love the little guy. Love them. But I’m also going to be firm about certain rules. No, you can’t have an ice cream bar. Right?

Yeah, they’re delicious. Your dad wants to eat them all too. But you can’t have the ice cream bar. And I love you. So I will say the same thing to your wife. Look, you can’t go see this guy and be with me. And I love you. But you can’t do it. Those things are mutually exclusive. When it comes to engaged in difference, right? It’s obvious for most of us that this was happening to us we’re going to be it’s hard to be indifferent man. Let’s just call it what it is. When we talk about engaged in difference, we’re usually not talking about something that is blatant as a possible affair. Emotional affair, she’s definitely having. Physical affair, not a betting man will say no, I’m going to win. But I’m edge on the line that this is probably physical. But I don’t know that.

But definitely emotional, right? She’s having an emotional response to this is an emotional affair. So by all definitions, so what I’m going to do here is I’m going to realize that I am not going to be indifferent, I’m going to be emotional, I am a human, I am a man. It’s okay. One trick that I teach some of our clients, Tim is when engaged in differences very difficult for them. Especially when they’re collecting the berries, right? We talked about collecting berries a lot here at TPM. When they’re collecting the berries, sometimes what I say is, hey, listen to your woman, as if she was a good friend’s wife, not your wife, a good friend’s wife, that can remove the personal sting from it. Right? So as an example, Dan’s got a buddy, let’s just say Dan’s talking to my wife. They’re just having coffee talking. Nothing going on just having a conversation. Nothing to like, what Dan’s describing his wife’s doing. But they’re having a conversation.

Now if my wife starts talking about me, and the dumb stuff that Doug does, right, and I do dumb stuff, I’m a man. And the stuff that I do, Dan is not going to be triggered by it, he’s just going to listen, he’s going to be somewhat empathetic. Because he’s not going to know my side of the street, right? He’s just going to hear her side and just listen, not providing advice, not critiquing, just listening. And that’s the level of engaged in difference you get to do and sometimes you have to pretend that your wife isn’t a woman, you know, as well. Right? And you are not the person she’s talking about. And that for some guys allows them to get into the zone or the feeling of what engaged in differences like once you feel what it’s like, it’s easier than to slip into it, into a normal routine, Tim.

Tim Matthews  23:56

Love that. Little tip and yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head. Very difficult to be indifferent in this situation, right? You’re just not gonna it is not going to be indifferent. Okay, such a charged situation. I don’t think you want to, you want to come from a place of strength and not weakness. Weakness is the neediness, waiting for permission, waiting for her to decide with approval, waiting for it to tell you you’re doing the right thing, waiting for it to give you a pat on the back all those things. And you’re in a dangerous place, if that’s how you’re going to be because where does that end? You’re forever going to be waiting on something that one may or may not come in to you then put in your sense of worth on what she says. It’s just you wouldn’t do that in any scenario, nevermind with the wife.

Doug Holt  24:46

I’ve been in a situation like this with my wife. Long time ago, maybe 10 years ago, maybe or so. She was chat with a guy online. Right? And I found out about it. And I just confronted her and said, hey, look, this isn’t acceptable. And if you want to be with me, if you want to be with me, then you end this now, you actually get on a call right here right now in front of me. And you say, hey, look, I can’t talk to other guys. I’m married, period into story. If you don’t, then you’re gone. And we’re separating. And that’s okay, too, right? I’ll be amicable, I’m not going to be a jerk about it. But this is not acceptable in relationship with me.

And right then, and there, my wife picked up the phone made a phone call and said, hey, look, I’m not talking to you anymore. I value my husband and my relationship far more than just having a chat. And I was there, I heard everything, I heard the guy’s response in the guy was like, okay, you know, so it wasn’t as convoluted as what Dan’s going through. But even then, to give you a point, Dan, I just put a hard line. So this is not acceptable to me. If you want to be my wife, my woman, then you don’t do this. You just don’t do it.

Bottom line, and I just, I made her make that decision, right then in there, I didn’t give her 24 hours and give her deciding period, I just made her this is I remember exactly where I was exactly what I was doing. You call right now, you contact this person, you call, I want to hear it. And you end up never ever talked to that person again, or anybody else online, like this ever. It’s a friend that you’ve had before a marriage, cool, we can talk about it. But no, it wasn’t out of a place of jealousy for me or anything else. But these are clearly defined boundaries that her and I set before we got married. Right?

We both were in the fitness industry. So it’s a very sexual industry, you’re talking to a lot of people, a lot of good looking people all the time. And Tim, you know, you were in this industry as well. So you just know going into it, what things could escalate to at some time. But at that time, my wife and I were talking about protecting the third entity. And what I saw was her not protecting it. So I came in said no, this will not work for me. And guys that have met me and know me, can be pretty black and white. At times like that. Not all the time but sometimes. And when I am I don’t I don’t budge. It just boom, this is it is one way or the other. And that’s there’s no two ways about it.

Tim’s laughing over there because you’ve seen me do this a couple times, maybe once or twice. But in this situation, Dan, I just registered a hard line. And I was fully prepared not to move out myself, Dan, I would not move out myself, I would have helped her move her stuff out. That very day, it would have taken me about an hour, I’m guessing because I would have been enraged, I would not have been different and I was very calm, and very deliberate. And what I said, so there was no misunderstanding from her the seriousness of my boundary. So whatever to be crossed. Again, if you’re gone 10 years, past more than 10 years, I guess at this point, it’s never happened not even close. She got the fact that I was protecting the third entity.

Now if she wants to be part of that third entity, then there’s rules to follow. There’s rules. If you want to be part of it, just like if you want to be in relation with me, you can’t be lying to me. You can tell me difficult things. You can tell me you don’t like me, you can tell me that I’m stubborn, you can tell me that I’m too aggressive or not aggressive enough, or whatever. You and I can deal with that with there’s honesty there. But you don’t lie to me.

And so Dan, this is where you get to draw a hard line in the sand. Engage in differences is tough for a lot of guys, especially when you’re triggered, I would encourage you to first and foremost set a firm boundary. You can choose to do it the way I did draw a hard line in the sand. Right? And just then in there, she has to make that decision. You can give her a short time period. What I’m concerned with Dan is we Tim and I have somebody that we know it’s we’re very close to someone who’s been involved in the movement. Then in the Brotherhood, great man, I mean, friggin salt of the earth great guy.

He drew a boundary, his wife crossed it. He drew another boundary, his wife crossed it drew another boundary, his wife crossed it. And you know, he was doing the best he can. So I’m not putting him down in any way, shape, or form. I did not walk in his shoes. And he ended up finding out that it was a physical affair. And he drew another boundary and his wife crossed it. And Tim and I had a watch this poor guy suffer through this. And I don’t want that for you, man. I know you saw me in the call even competent. I care. I really, really care about the men we work with. I care about the guys listening to this. I deeply care about the work we do. And I want you to have it all. And I do not want you to take advantage of, that’s why Tim was so pissed. You see how well Tim is enunciating his words? That’s how you can tell when Tim’s pissed he slows down his dock and enunciates very effectively.

Do you know that’s the Tim you don’t want to meet the dark alley? And he’s pissed because he wants is the best for you, and doesn’t want you to be taken advantage of draw that boundary, choose the timeline. But once you draw that boundary brother, do not let anybody cross it. And if they cross it, there’s consequences. And if you don’t enforce those consequences, she’s gonna trust you less, she’s gonna respect you less, and she’s gonna walk over you more. And that is exactly what you do not want. So being the lighthouse or being the wolf was just wise, open, loving and fierce. The wolf is wise, he’s open, he’s loving, but he’s also fierce. And he fiercely protects himself, his family, the third entity of his marriage, if he’s still married, and all the people he cares about that includes himself that includes himself.

Tim Matthews  30:44

Gonna reach out to this guy, and ask him a time to listen to this podcast. And I’m going to ask him when he’s going to do.

Doug Holt  30:51

Yeah, I’m going to drop him a raw video from this, that’s my anticipation plan. But I’ll do an a chat with both all of us where I’ll drop it in the general channel, so all the men can see it. So for those that aren’t in our general channel, we have a community of men, men alumni, guys, currently in the activation method, Alpha Reset, the Brotherhood, inner circle, one on one, all the programs that we offer, as we continue to expand and help more and more men around the world. I think there’s over Gosh, quite a bit of men in there for 1000 men. I don’t even know the exact number Tim, but I’ll do it, I’ll tag him in there. It’s a very open forum, very loving place for men to share.

So Tim, that way you can continue the conversation with as well.

Tim Matthews  31:32


Doug Holt  31:34

Gentlemen, if you find yourself in a similar situation as Dan, now it doesn’t have to be an emotional affair, it doesn’t have to be a physical affair. But when your boundaries are being crossed, when you are being violated or disrespected, it’s time to set those boundaries and set them firm. Now, when you set those boundaries, you can’t let anybody crossed them. And without consequences, they cross them, they get consequences, just like my son was watching a little show, if I walked over into that room after this podcast, and he’s eaten an ice cream bar, they’re going to be consequences, you can be assured of that.

And that’s why he’s not eating an ice cream bar. That’s why I have so much confidence that he’s sitting on the couch, he’s got an electrolyte drink. And he’s watching cartoons as he was allowed to do. And he’s got healthy snacks. And he’s not going to do it because he knows violating dad’s rules have consequences. And he doesn’t want to do that as a little guy. He tried it right, he tested his boundaries, as all kids and all women are going to do while people are going to do that. But when your boundaries are firm, people are going to respect them. But you got to hold firm boundaries. And sometimes you got to hold firm boundaries for yourself, and protect yourself and protect your relationship from yourself.

So guys, if you haven’t jumped on a call with one of our advisors, to see if the activation method is the right place for you, I’m going to encourage you to do so if you’re a married businessman, then what you want to do is go over to thepowerfulman.com, there’s a button there, just hit contact, or apply, it’ll give you the opportunity to fill up a short application. Right, and that gets you on a call with one of our advisors, they’re guaranteed to give you an insight into your personal life that will help you regardless, but they’re also let you know if it’s the right fit. Maybe it’s not the right time for you. Or if there’s another program or something else that they recommend that you do instead, depending on your situation because they know our program, they know who we can help.

And that’s why we have such a high continuation rate. And such a high success rate is because we know the guys we serve, we know how to do it effectively is a methodology, right step by step methodology. That’s what Dan was alluding to. That’s why he’s upgrading his software. He’s new in the program, and he’s upgrading. I love that about you, Dan. I love that you’re jumping two feet in and really going after brother. And I’m excited to watch your journey. And for those of you that have not begun your journey with us, I encourage you to go over.

Again that’s thepowerfulman.com. Just get on a phone call guys and get on a short 15, 20 minute phone call and just find out take action set a boundary for yourself. You deserve it. You deserve everything is like average is not for you. Tim always thank you for your insights, my friends, I know your work depth your pocket, and I’m gonna do some push-ups here pretty soon to get us out. Dan, just know that we got your back. We’re in your corner, my friend, and I speak behind. On behalf of myself, of course, Tim, the other coaches and all the gentlemen, as we always say in the moment of insight, take massive action. We’ll see you next time!