The Powerful Man Show

A Look Back On A Challenging Year 2020

Episode #297

The Powerful Man pivoted big time in the year 2020.

The movement brought alumni together and tackled topics about thriving during the pandemic instead of merely surviving it. This helped the men discover how they could serve their business, relationships, and communities better.

While other people binged on Netflix, hiding out elsewhere, men from this group focused on how to thrive in 2020 and stepped up their game in their business and relationship.

One of the highlights is The Powerful Marriage Reset. Coaches provided information and tools on how men from this group could save their marriages and have their best business year.

Another highlight was the virtual retreat, which got everyone following the Alpha Rise and Shine Protocol. Through the movement, men realized that showing up in a big way is the best thing they did and allowed them to go from the impossible to a new reality.

In this episode, let’s review what happened in 2020 learn how the men from The Powerful Man were able to thrive, and how the movement was able to help business owners to show up and step up their game to serve better not only their business but also their families and communities.

————-

Hungry for more?

Head over to our https://www.thepowerfulman.com/the-alpha-reset/ page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man. 

Also, listen on:

iTunes
Sticher
Spotify
YouTube

————-

Episode Transcript

Doug Holt 0:00  

We talk about 2020. It’s easy to joke about how bad it was. It wasn’t right. But guys, it’s what you make of it. It’s like your marriage now today or your business today. And 2020 taught me something, Tim, that you hear something, you believe it. But until you experience it at an extreme level, like skydiving, for example, until you jump out of a plane, you don’t know what it feels like, what it is, right? You get it. You never forget it. 2020 was like that. For me, with the whole concept. You are the sum of the five people with whom you spend the most time.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host, Tim, “The Powerful Man” Matthews. What’s going on, brother?

Tim Matthews 0:43  

I am doing well, yeah, it’s not too bad right now, as you’re aware, we’ve moved house in between citing our offices and bedrooms and blah, blah, blah. So, I’m loving being here, man. It’s just a dream to be living here. Yeah. I love that.

Doug Holt 0:57  

Yeah. Good choice. You’re a big three hours away from Leeds now.

Tim Matthews 1:04  

Yeah, three hours. Everyone’s like, Oh, my God, you’re so far away. It’s like my mom was crying. Like three hours moments, it’s not Australia. 

Doug Holt 1:13  

Well, it’s a difference right between the states in the UK, it’s. One of the differences is we drive three hours regularly. It’s not exactly true. But three hours away wouldn’t be the end of the world. People would come to visit, and I had my dad and stepmom visit us for the Christmas holiday. I think they drove seven and a half hours to give you an idea.

Tim Matthews 1:35  

To give that context. I could drive from Leeds to Dundee, which is in a different country, and probably halfway up the country in seven hours less, and the UK is tiny, right? I think the UK can fit. I think California is four times bigger than the UK is more than that. It’s crazy.

Doug Holt 1:59  

Well, yeah, me as the United States, right. So kind of like the EU would be. Anyway, man, when I thought we did, we jumped onto this. And when we said, hey, let’s do a Facebook Live for the guys. But 2020 has been a joke for everybody. And also, with 2020, The Powerful Man is a movement we’ve seen so much. And we get the opportunity that most people don’t. We’ve talked to 1000s of business leaders, to the men who go through our programs, and are very well connected. There are great guys, and they’re going through a transformation. So we get the inside scoop on what’s going on. We also have The Brotherhood and the inner circle, which are long-term mastermind groups for men going through. So I thought, what we do, Tim picks a little reflection on 2020. We did a little bit with the team the other day. And so I thought we could dive into it a little bit. Also, give guys some insights on some of the things we’ve seen, some of the things they’re probably or could be going through, and give him some insights into how we can help.

Tim Matthews 3:05  

Let’s do it.

Doug Holt 3:07  

So obviously, 2020 started with a roar; we had some big goals for The Powerful Man is a movement. Now, guys, we think of The Powerful Man as a movement, not a business, because it’s more than us and beyond our control. And what I mean by that is we go out with them when they’re going to the programs, and we help them help foster the way the movements are going to move and grow. For Tim, myself, Arthur, Mark Franco, the whole team Ben, I can list them on and on Ryan. It’s really about serving the guys. And I’ll get into that. So we’ll talk about some of the things that we did. But we had huge plans, right? You’re talking about a bunch of men getting together and going; how can we make this the best year ever. And we rolled into the year that a whole list just like you would go for your business if you’re in a growth phase of what you would do and how you would get out there to serve more guys. And then COVID happens. It happened to all of us, and we had a little bit more of a head start to prepare most people because of the insights that we got ahead of time on the seriousness of what was going to happen at a governmental level. But again, that comes with access, right kind of who, but we had a pivot, we pivoted big time. And so we went from doing that to being able to serve even more men going through the program after COVID was it. One of the things that we did is we stopped all of our training. So one thing we do within The Powerful Man for alumni guys that have already graduated the program, men in The Brotherhood, is we usually continue continued education, right? So we go through five territories, which are self-health, wealth, relationships, and business. I know I said that fast, but we do deep dives on subjects. And what we decided to do immediately was a pivot to bring all The Alumni together. And we did. Gosh, Tim, was it two months of just topics on thriving through COVID rather than surviving.

Tim Matthews 5:09  

Yeah, it was. It was for about two months, from about April time to summertime to three months.

Doug Holt 5:18  

Yeah, it was cool. Because we look back and reflect, it seems so long ago. But we had guys stepping in and saying, “Hey, look, this is what we need to do.” We have one guy who involved in politics and lobbying to say that, and one of the things that he talked about was, “Hey, how do we help our first responders?”, “here’s what you can do, guys,” other guys are talking about, “here’s what’s going on in my business,” “We have shutdowns here in the UK,” “We shutdowns here in the States, it didn’t hit the states quite as fast, right, but we knew it was coming and what can we do to pivot?” and here’s what’s going to happen in relationships. And so we started tackling these issues ahead of time. So the guys going through could be proactive rather than reactive. And behind the scenes, it was quite a scramble. Because you have to imagine having a one-year curriculum planned and then completely wiping it out and going, how can we serve the men at their highest level to serve their families, serve their businesses and serve their communities?

Tim Matthews 6:15  

It was huge. It’s great to see all the guys come together like that as well, guys from different parts of the world, Canada, East Coast, West Coast, UK, Europe, and get to understand one another’s businesses and family dynamic and support, especially when they do the homeschooling a lot of the guys chipping in advice on that, which was cool to see. 

Doug Holt 6:42  

It’s right. 

Tim Matthews 6:43  

And it was great to be able to peel back the curtain on what we’d been the information we’ve been given, which was, I did. Honestly, I didn’t believe it—you were adamant. And I was like, “No way! Come on, guys. That sounds ridiculous.” But fortunately, we were prepared for what you said, and your shared camp came true. So it’s great to be able to share that with the man ahead of time. So they could almost bulletproof themselves, or probably two or three months ahead of other businesses within their area. Because obviously, they had information that other people didn’t. And coincidentally, what I say coincidentally, it’s no, it’s no coincidence, but the guys, the majority of them, they’ve had the best year in business.

Doug Holt 7:35  

Same thing.

Tim Matthews 7:36  

Yeah. It is not the best year, neither the best year in business but the best year as a family. Guys have been pushed to cut their hours down from five days a week to four days a week to three days a week, and then pursue their passions. And it resulted in guys Benavidez and going across the US. Guys randomly taking trips up into the mountains got all sorts of cool stuff. That previously, they were telling themselves. Well, when I get to that, that’s when I’ll do it, obviously, someday and ever arises is spoken about before. And they always believe that none of the business can’t operate without me, I’m the decision-maker, and then they realize, huh, five days a week and things are running better than we’re making more money. The staff is happier. Maybe I’ve got two-three days now. I’m in a bit of a nudge in a push to go to three days doesn’t mean that the tether I off the ball all they can perform better level focus on their zone, what the business needs from them. It doesn’t take five full days a week.

Doug Holt 8:50  

Yeah, it’s so tempting to throw out names. Because we know these people intimately. But a lot of those guys, some guys felt guilty, right? Because of one guy, his business more than doubled. And he had built around it. And so we worked with him on that other guy who had their entire industry shut down. Yet, we worked with him on how to pivot that and make that a win. So while their competitors were closing their doors, they were opening up new opportunities. And again, you go into the relationship right now all of a sudden, and you got guys who some guys are struggling in their marriage or were struggling in their marriage. And now they’re home all the time. Like, oh, wow, now it opens up a whole can of worms. There’s no hiding. But they flip that script. We have one guy who got laid five nights in a row right after this and turned himself into the CFO of his family, rolling through where previously that wasn’t even a glimpse in his mind. Right. It wasn’t even a desire.

Tim Matthews 9:51  

I think it was five times in one night.

Doug Holt 9:53  

Is it five times in one night? 

Tim Matthews 9:55  

Yeah. 

Doug Holt 9:58  

Because maybe he went from a sexless marriage to five times a weeknight. So I mean, these, we talked about 2020. It’s easy to joke about how bad it was because it wasn’t good. But guys, it’s what you make of it. It’s like your marriage now today or your business today. And 2020 taught me something, Tim, that, well, I guess it didn’t teach it to me. But you hear something, you believe it. But until you experience it at an extreme level, like skydiving, for example, you don’t know what it feels like or what it is right until you jump out of a plane. And when you do jump out of a plane, you get it. You never forget it. 2020 was like that, for me with a whole concept I think Jim Rohn came up with, you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with, right? If we believe that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with, 2020 had people see who they’re with. And that’s where I saw the alumni and, more, in particular, The Brotherhood, and then the inner circle, guys, right, the more advanced groups, they excelled. And I think that was huge. I love to think it was us. But I think it was The Brotherhood itself that the guys are coming together. Now you’re spending time, even more so maybe with other men operating at a very high level who’ve been through the programs, who have reactivated, gone through The Activation Method, they’ve reactivated the men that they are the powerful men. And now you’re spending time with these guys. Virtually you’re spending time with them. And now you’re becoming the product of the five people you spend the most time with. And that’s why almost all business best years ever in business best years and relationships turned into themselves. Right? You always talked about flipping the triangle upside down, and they made themselves a huge priority. And everything started to fall into alignment. People rekindled all kinds of relationships. I mean, I feel I can go on and on. It’s fun to reminisce because you don’t stop and think about it until we do something like this.

Tim Matthews 11:55  

Yeah, and it’s, it’s easy to say, right? It’s easy. I speak to guys every day that apply to the program. And now I’m very grateful that the majority of those guys consumed a lot of our content via podcasts on the website to be in the Facebook group. They’re familiar with what we said, and if you’re listening to this or watching this, and you’ve been around us for any length of time, we do not see anything new here, right? It’s what we’ve spoken about in the past. So there’s a huge difference between knowing and doing this year 2021 is putting on a side note. Have you seen that film on Netflix, 2020?

Doug Holt 12:42  

I haven’t watched it. 

Tim Matthews 12:45  

2020 bothered me twice. Well, anyway, the point being is it’s been a magnifying glass. You talk about money. Please wait a minute, and we’re struggling here, Doug. We talked about believing in a magnifying glass that COVID has been a magnifying glass. It’s brought to the surface. If there have been fragilities in a relationship brought to the surface, that surface for judges in a business brought to the surface fragilities in your routines brought to the surface, right? It’s been the time when, as a man, we’ve been called to lead ourselves, our families, our businesses, our communities, more than ever, maybe before, especially post-war really. Oh, so my being is when we talk about flipping the triangle on its head and living from the inside out versus the outside in on the path of power versus the path of the boss. One guy presented the end of the year to his board of choosing investors and shareholders in the company. These were kind of old school guys in the 60s, some of the early 70s were around the block a few decades very well-schooled in business, and this company, and I know it 2x or 3X, but that is a record year. And they were saying to him, how have you done this? How do you turn this around? And he said. Obviously, it’s the first year I’ve spent more time focusing on myself and the business. And he was nervous about how that was going to be received by those guys easier than a Vestas, right? Yep. They were blown away by it. I love that you tell me more. Take on fitness challenges. And by the way, this guy has gone through a divorce as well. It came to the program and, unfortunately, a little bit too late to save his marriage. But he thrived through it. He continued with his brotherhood, and in his thirties, he drove the program about a year ago. And then he came out of the program around March time and then continued with his in The Brotherhood. Still, the point is the man he has grown into, the man that he always was right, but now he’s realizing for himself and growing into that guy, he’s been there for his daughter’s son during not only COVID. But when I say COVID, his daughter, they have to have time at home, his kid having to be homeschooled and a son rather. And it’s probably a lot of problems for teenagers. 

Anyway, without going into detail, he’s been able to be there for his kids in a way that he wouldn’t have otherwise been able to be there for his business, taking on fitness challenges crushing his fitness, all when the odds were completely stacked against him. So a big lesson for me. Well, one of the big lessons for me in 2020, on this point, is, it’s been a magnifying glass more than any other year. And I’ve not yet reviewed this, and I’m going to do that over the next couple of days, because moving and blah, blah, blah, blah, but behind but anyway, point being is, as I reflect now, in this conversation, it has is how, how have you responded have you reacted or responded. And that leads on to my second lesson here with being flexible versus been fixed. There were times in this year where I felt like I was too fixed to a way of operating, which, had I continued to remain so fixed, might have gotten me in trouble. But feeding back to your other lesson in the power of me being around guys like you and Arthur and the guys on the team is in those moments where I wanted to resist and stay true to what I know, although I knew I worked in a completely different world. Suppose you guys have been able to be around me and support me in continuing to be flexible. This year, I’ve been so many times when we’ve had to harness that flexibility on a whim and go and just pivot. And that lesson thereof fixed versus flexed. And the people you’re around are, again, I knew it was coming into 2020. But what I mean, 2020 has been the magnifying glasses. Okay, all these things there. Right? Let’s see how you put them into practice. 

Doug Holt 17:51  

Yeah, I mean, we have something. You get the front lines. So you get to talk to a lot more guys than I do. I talk to them once they get in the program, or maybe through the Facebook group by doing things like this. But we saw so many commonalities with 2020. Right? I mean, the kind of idea people talk about is not a fun thing, but you see it with that reflection of the magnifying glass. And as Jeremy in the Facebook group said, Yeah, there’s no hiding. The divorce rate is predicted to go up dramatically once things open up. Unfortunately, we see that because we talked to guys, and you can predict it like, look as you walk in the rooms, your wife throws up, puts down her cell phone quickly, right. That’s a sign of an emotional affair that could be happening, maybe a physical one. Are you hiding out in business, and now you can’t, and guys not having a chance to reactivate themselves are going through what we shared. I’ll digress a little bit. One of the things we did in 2022 that I thought was cool is we decided to put on a free 30-day program. All they had to do for anybody that was interested was they had to be a business owner. That was what we stipulated to some guys; we let them in that weren’t business owners because we just decided to, but the only thing they had to do is raise their hand before a certain date, right? And we said, Hey, give you like a, I don’t know if we can we give him a two-week notice. If two weeks jump in, raise your hand, we’re going to throw you in a private group for 30 days, going to give you some coaching on the triadic connection, right, give you some basics. And some so many men showed up and stepped up. And a lot of those guys save their marriages. A lot of them didn’t charge a dime, didn’t charge a penny, didn’t ask it anything. Some guys continued with us, which is great, but we just did it. My point is what I saw was that some guys showed up big and played full out and jumped in. And those guys, not every one of them saved their marriage, but a lot of those guys did. 

Other guys hid in the background. We like posts here and there. We’re still active because Facebook allows us to see the stats. But that’s how 2020 was for some of us, and this is no judgment on anybody. And everybody had a hard time in 2020, right? I did, I’m sure, I’m guessing you did. I was like, “Fuck, and I just want to get out!”. You want to travel. But some people took 2020 as an excuse to binge on Netflix, to hide out, even more, to drink more to do whatever it was for them to cope through 2020. Again, no judgment. Other people looked at 2020 and said, Okay, how can I say, as we did, we did a whole two-month thing on how not only to survive 2020, or even we went into preparation, details of food and all kinds of things that you need for your family but how to thrive in 2020. And I saw that in the groups, right, and I see it in this group, too. We’re doing this life right now. Guys like Jeremy are stepping up, stepping up regularly. I’d love to see the rest of the guys come big in this community. There are so many amazing men here in 2020 was again, a magnifying glass of, of Hey, as you do one thing, you do all things. And if you’re out, you’re hiding in the background here, and chances are you’re hiding out else elsewhere too, and the guys that showed up the present for the other men for their fellow men in this community of what we call the world. Those are the guys that started repairing their marriage and their relationships, and their businesses. 

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing, like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it? I get it. Go over right now to https://www.thepowerfulman.com/bonus/ to discover the system that other business people, just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies, ten men just like you who have found the solution and found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you; go over to https://www.thepowerfulman.com/bonus/ right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Tim Matthews 22:13  

I’m talking about a Powerful Marriage Reset, right?

Doug Holt 22:17  

The Powerful Marriage Reset, but I’m also talking about how that correlates with even The Powerful Man group that we’re in right now.

Tim Matthews 22:24  

Right? Oh, oh, yeah. It’s so easy to look, guys. The reality is, if you’ve been around us for any amount of time, now’s were 250 podcast episodes, maybe approaching 300. This group here has been very active for a few years. Now. If you are not happy in your marriage, it’s not because you don’t know what to do. Because we plow information. And tools, they’re very different from the advice a lot of men are given. Many men are given that communication is the key and the answer, but we don’t believe it is; we believe it’s connection versus communication. Hence the trade-off connection that we did support the men to deploy within their marriages. And it takes guys literally from being on the brink of divorce to having sex again, quite frankly. But the point I’m making is so easy. It is so easy. I’m going to tie this into The Brotherhood boardroom that we did a couple of days ago. To give you guys some context, the guys in The Brotherhood, every quarter, we do a brothers boardroom where all the coaches write and review the course upon request, edit, and so on. And some of the guys were sharing in my particular room the idea of lowering the pain threshold. Something strong for a business owner is another lesson for me this year, 2020, when strength becomes a weakness; I think it’s such a great lesson. However, the light side has a dark side and vice versa. And we’re talking about the idea of becoming less tolerant, a pain. Something that serves you so well as a business owner in the early days of business has a high pain threshold, right? Because you persevere, you’re testing, and you try, you keep going when it makes no sense. But you’d do it anywhere. It gets you through that stuff and gets you into a good flow for the most part. Now, when that becomes a weakness is in the area of, let’s say, your marriage, right? Let’s see, listen to the podcast. 

You’re in the Facebook group. There are units within the Facebook group that contain about 15 different pieces of training. Create pieces of training, and they’ll help you understand both certain assumptions that you may have had about how to fix your marriage. They’re there for free. Just click the units, you’ll see them podcast episodes. But some guys don’t take action on these. Some guys with almost 300 guys in the Powerful Marriage Reset, as you said, took 30 days’ worth of support and coaching from yourself myself. The other guys in there didn’t take action. Why is that? In my opinion, one of the reasons for that is because they’ve become so tolerant to the pain and disconnect within the marriage. They’ve just grown used to it. And settled, quite frankly. And it’s not until there is an external stressor placed upon them that they then change, the divorce papers, I want a separation. Whenever there’s an external pressure placed upon you, you’re forced to change by something outside of you. It’s a tough place to be because you’re out. It’s out of control, right. And at that point, the mistake guys make the pendulums over here focused on business for years, and they realize there’s a problem in the marriage, it swings over to the other side, folks in the marriage, and in that position, usually become quite needy and desperate and push the woman away. Whereas if they were just a little bit less tolerant to pain, and they become more sensitive, “this isn’t who I am not going to do it.” One guy, in particular, I’ve put seven or eight pounds on, we spoke about the idea of the kind of like when you go bowling, right, you put the gutters up the Garland’s, you don’t get a strike every time, but some people put the gutters up to stop the ball from bouncing into the danger zone, let’s call it. 

So the idea being is, how can you set those gutters in your own life? This guy weighs himself regularly so that he never goes too far, never puts too much weight on without realizing, and then becomes less tolerant to his pen. So that instead of being okay and settling with something, he allows that reflex to kick in sooner. It’s like a thermostat, this set points. We all heard that before, right? To create the change faster, save your marriage, and leave it to default, making the change isn’t going to be when you hand in divorce papers. Is it going to be when you’re asked to separate? Is it going to be when you discover an emotional affair? Or is it going to be when you choose to do it? And to be fair, a lot of guys do take that approach. The other guys will speak to the databases due back to the lesson’s topic in 2020. For me, one of the ones is about being aware of what a strength becomes a weakness and recognizing that and assessing that okay. This used to be a strength most when I choose to replace this with the other while I’m on a roll in seasons. This was a great one again that came up in the brother’s boardroom. We’re reviewing Q4 with the guys. And I still feel like I’ve had many choir members. I was thriving in Q3, Q2. But in Q4, I feel like I’ve hit a little bit of a plateau. And anyway, they didn’t start listening to follies rent wins, and you have the best Christmas ever as voted for by the family. I did the biggest deadlift I’ve done in my life. I grew the business by Expo said listen if all these wins, and I’m like, Huh. And it sounds like you’ve had an excellent quarter, maybe not as accelerated as others said, “Yeah, you’re right. 

But you know what? I just took my foot off the gas a little bit in q4″. Like cool. Wow. Like Yeah, I just felt like I could have felt like I needed to. Awesome. So recognize what season you’re in. Suppose you’re in that season where you’re just going to take your foot off the gas and take stock and let your business do work on itself and maintain stuff in fitness, knowing that in Q1 of the following year, you’re going to go again, awesome. Embrace that. Please don’t beat yourself up for saying I should have set higher goals. Impress that that’s the season you’ve chosen for that quarter and enjoy it as always, share as we were sharing that conversation, which was an amazing conversation, and thank you guys for reminding me of so many lessons as well. Rather than fighting the season you’re in, you create the season you’re in. But recognize what you are creating. If you were saying you should be doing something else, but feeling like you want to be over here and surrender to what you feel like you ought to be doing and do that. Well. Whether it’s in business, whether it’s in seasons, whether it’s marriage, whatever it applies to.

Doug Holt 30:06  

I think that’s so true. Something else that I picked up from 2020. And again, it’s nothing that we don’t talk about as coaches. But it came up in the boardroom. And it also came up when we did. So we did it. So everybody else that wasn’t available for all for alumni, The Brotherhood, the inner circle, we made a three-day virtual retreat, which was epic. It was such a great thing. It was how to plan for 2021. So it doesn’t end up like everybody else’s 2020, right. And in fact, it was while everybody else was falling, how did you rise? But what came up is that we noticed that when men start to struggle, it’s because they’re not doing their alpha Rise and shine. Protocol gets more advanced as the guys go through the program. Their chart of intentional living that we teach the coil was another thing that came up. And every guy in my board room breakout room that we did, I think every guy had one of those two things going to be their daily commitment that they knew would move the needle for themselves, their family, and their business Q1 and 2021. Right. And it’s kind of that I think, as men just as humans, but as men especially, we get comfortable, right? And we get comfortable, and we let our guard down because it’s comfortable, right? People don’t work out. Some guys never do and work out the exercises they think they might do in business, but most men do in their relationships, right or themselves. Okay, now things are good. We’ve saved so many of these men’s marriages now; things are good. Now I can stop doing my alpha Rise and shine, and now I could stop doing the journaling practice they taught me how I could stop you from getting the idea. And then they also realize, oh crap, that was the best thing I did. Right? Showing up in a big way allowed me to go from what was impossible, save their marriage, save their business, and save their family to what is now possible is a reality for them, which is thriving, but what else is possible? Right, and it just opened up so many doors we had guys that have never run it. One guy’s running a marathon in January to raise awareness for something. Other guys are doing some epic stuff that they never thought they could ever do right in their 40s or whatever the story is. And the point being Tim, to add on to what you’re saying is as men, we forget where we came from, right? We forget it’s just until we look back and wait a minute for the best Christmas My family has ever had; according to my wife, according to the kids a year ago, this Christmas wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t make a change.

Tim Matthews 33:02  

He would like many levels; many of the guys with Seidel a year ago came out in the alpha reboot, didn’t it? A lot of the guys going about this time last year would be suicidal and said that guys, I didn’t even know if I would make it next Christmas let alone whether the marriage would make it. Part of the suicidal tendencies that were coming up was tied to the marriage breakdown as well. And that was affecting business was taking a slump well who am I for my business cascade of stories. But yeah, it was scary, but you’re right there went on to the family saying yeah, this has been the best Christmas ever.

Doug Holt 33:44  

Yeah, it’s amazing as we wrap this up because I think we can talk forever about 2020. After all, it did turn out to be an amazing year. I want to give the guys watching this guy that has been with us on this journey through 2020 guys new to The Powerful Man the movement that we are some insights of things they can do today, so 2021 isn’t Groundhog’s Day for 2020 I’m saying isn’t quite honestly another shit show for a lot of guys. So let’s push bounce back and forth for a couple of minutes here, Tim. What are some things these guys that you feel the guys can do?

Tim Matthews 34:26  

Can I share one more lesson?

Doug Holt 34:29  

Yeah, I’d be mindful of the time.

Tim Matthews 34:38  

The lesson that stood out to me was, and it feeds into what you just said a moment ago. That’s what sparked the memory of it was it’s harder to go from good to great and is from bad to good because when you’re in bad usually about external stress placed upon them, that’s triggered them to go into action right. Anyone myself, you And then that journey from bad to good is so driven and necessary. That must happen; I must save the marriage, get my health back, and go from bad to good. But then when things are good, it’s like, well, why bother? Why are things good? Why go to grad? Well, things are good, you’ve got, you’ve got more to risk, good than it bad. Because you’ve now got out of bad. So going from good to great often requires a lot more motivation. Because that motivation as a thing comes from within. Often going from good to great is down to your standards. It’s down to what you see for yourself and parlays. Going back to one of the earlier lessons you surround yourself with because if you surround yourself with people playing at that grid level and you’re good, you’re Hang on a minute. Yeah, look, they’re up there, that looks good of them now, and that’s within reach. But it requires just going from bad to good, a shift in how you operate, a shift in habits, a shift in identity for the most part without it’s not like you have to change. But by default, by changing your habits, you act differently, and you change who you are. It’s just how it works. But by being is, that was a huge lesson for me. Going from good to great requires more effort and focus and going from bad to good. So it’s so true.

Doug Holt 36:40  

Yeah, it’s the same in sport, it’s the same in all kinds of life areas. That it plays over so well, so with that said, let’s wrap up with a couple of things that guys can do going in from 2020 to 21. I’ll start and kick it off. And I think the first thing guys recognize to get off the sidelines, right? Get off those sidelines and get into the game of your life and make sure you’re stepping up, whatever that looks like for you. Right? That could be a lot of things. But getting into and stepping into that, whether it means taking on a new fitness routine or doing something different, or changing the way you’re operating right at home or in your business. So taking time to reflect and then really stepping into the game and getting off the sidelines. If 2020 taught us anything…and I’ve had people that were not people that were strict with COVID. No, and you did too, Tim – life is short, right? It’s unpredictable…and so it’s time now to step into whatever it is for you. That’s your greatness. Right? Please don’t wait for it to go bad. Try to get it good if it’s bad. Raise your hand right away. Let’s get it good, even if it’s good. You deserve great. And I think 2021 gets to be that for you.

Tim Matthews 38:06  

Um, yeah, I think one thing you gotta do guys here, you got to review. Yeah, for sure. If you’ve journaled this year or use the coil, go back and read through your coils. If you’re anything like the guys in The Brotherhood or The Activation Method, they review their week. So instead of having to review tons of journals, they could review 52 weekly reviews or however many they’ve done, I’ll give them a real snapshot of the year. The way that they’ll do that, in case you haven’t done it and you want to apply as to a year, is to look back and look at your wins, list them all. List your lessons, the main lessons you’ve had, and let’s see improvements you can make going into 2021 is important. And some of you might do this to me, you might listen to this, and then yeah, I’ll get into that. But if you don’t do this, then you’re going to go into 2021. And chances are, it’s going to be the same, maybe a little bit better than 2020 regardless of how good or bad 2020 was. From that review, you get to go and find people who have achieved what you want to achieve and go and be around them. However, you do that, wherever you do that go and be around them. Because it sounds cliche, but it’s true. Success leaves clues. And so much power in a community. I think that’s going to afford this in 2020 more than any time. Previously, we’ve all missed interaction with each other. When should we know we’re going to salt elsewhere online, and otherwise, so the community has become essential. To find it, guys. And yeah, however, 2020 has been for you? I hope it’s been a great one, and I hope you’ve learned a lot. And I hope you use those lessons to propel you into the next phase.

Doug Holt 40:12  

And I think that’s well said. I think the last thing I’ll say, guys, here is for many of us as men, I know I fell into this trap early on in my marriage. Are we getting to go from being the nice guy in the relationship? This is meant to be a jerk, to owning your power. What that means to you and being able to stand in your power normally, you’re not going to find it in an audiobook, guys, you’re just not. We’ve done it 1000s and 1000s of times; you need to experience it. It doesn’t have to be with us. I don’t know of any other place to get it, quite honestly. Because I certainly looked for over a decade. But you need to find it, and you need to step into your power. There’s no time to be the guy who gets stepped on in your relationship to get stepped on in other areas. And again, you can do this with grace, and it’s amazing, man. Right? Being a powerful man does not mean being a jerk. It’s quite the opposite. But once you reclaim yourself in the man that you are, you’ll be shocked at how your home life changes. So, guys, I want that for you. I want it bad. And it’s why we did the 30 days and Powerful Marriage Reset for a lot of you. And in some light, you guys tasted it, right, and you taste it, and it tastes friggin good. It tastes perfect. So guys, stick with that in 2021. Of course, if there’s anything we can do, or if there’s an episode you’d like to see us talk about. Several of you guys have reached out. The rest of you go ahead and go to the Facebook group, put a comment below. We are living right now. Appreciate you letting Tim and I reminisce here. It’s always fun with Tim moving and things that I had going on with my family. We haven’t had a chance to connect as much as we, as we usually do. So Tim, thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me and my family and men around the world and making 2020 again not a place to survive, but a place for men around the world to thrive. So thank you for all you’ve done.

Tim Matthews 42:09  

Thank you for that. Likewise, I couldn’t do it without you.

Doug Holt 42:13  

Very true. All right, guys, that’s a wrap for us. As always, guys, if this is your first time listening to us, and you’d like to learn more, we do give a free lesson or a bonus. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/bonus, pick that up. It’s going to be something we give out. We want you guys to thrive. This is a movement if you want to join the movement, help us really reactivate men worldwide, and reach out to us. And again, if you’ve been around for a little while, my request to you if you’ve been around for a little bit, go ahead and leave a review on wherever you’re watching this so other men like you can find this. And we continue to deliver this great work. We have families, we have things that we’re doing till we’re all busy, but I’d greatly appreciate it if you could take the time to do it. Make it an amazing 2021, guys. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man show.

THe latest and Greatest

Always Late

In this episode, we’re talking about how to deal with your wife always being late and understanding what the real trigger is. We get into how to make yourself calmer when this happens, how to set boundaries, and how to make your wife respect them.

Read More »

How to Release the Brakes

In this episode, we are going to talk about the idea of releasing the brakes, what can you do to achieve that release, where you’re holding back, and what can it do for you when you finally take the brakes off.

Read More »

Behind the Scenes With Ben Allen

In this episode, we’re talking about what the average guy is going through right now, why they feel stuck, and why they end up self-sabotaging. We’ll also discuss the importance of breaking generational patterns for yourself and your kids, top fears guys have, and how to make your spouse desire you again.

Read More »

Are you ready to change your life?

Get clear. Get unstuck.

Develop a passionate marriage.

Be a superhero to your kids.

And be proud of the man you see in the mirror.

Sign up now to start the rest of your life.

Reignite
Your
Relationship

Get this FREE Reignite Cheatsheet from The Powerful Man! Put the spark back into your life, your relationship, and your happiness NOW.