He shared how he was having doubts about the relationship he was in.
“I’m not sure if she’s the 10 out of 10 I’m looking for“.
This is his pattern.
“Brother, look, you’re never going to get a 10 out of 10.
You’re looking for perfection, aint gonna happen.
However, you can find a woman who supports you, sees you, shares in your passions, loves you unconditionally and wants to have CLEAN FUN with you.
Wouldn’t that be a 10 out of 10?”
To cut to the chase, what came of this was that he was taking his frustrations out on her.
Frustrations that he felt towards HIMSELF for PLAYING SMALLER than he knows he can play.
He’s scared, and that’s OK.
And, instead of facing up to that, it’s easier for him to point the blame onto the woman in his life.
I’ve seen this pattern play out A LOT.
Men blaming their partner for THEM playing small.
Guys, it’s not them, it’s YOU.
And maybe, the woman in your life is playing up because YOU are not showing up.
She doesn’t want your presents, she wants your presence.
She wants to know that she can surrender and bounce around in, the masculine container that YOU are.
If you go to her with constant fears, insecurities and disconnect what do you think that does?
Take care of your side of the street before you judge your neighbours.
I’m guilty of this too, and I’m now grateful that I recognise this and can catch myself sooner.
Is this really Amelia or am I blaming her for my playing small?
Verse #1 of our creed:
A POWERFUL MAN is a man who takes ownership and can honestly look at his life and take responsibility.
Virtue #5 in our 12 virtues is:
Whenever I hear men share about problems with their partner, I often wonder what would the women say if I asked them their version?
Am I saying that your partner is perfect?
Does it help to BLAME her?
Does it help to take ownership and reclaim your power?
And watch happens when you do.
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