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The Objects In The Mirror Are Closer Than You Think

Episode #98

If you want to live the life of a powerful man, it is crucial to know WHO you are and make sure your behaviors and habits are aligned with that man.

The Powerful Man is ALREADY inside of us…we just need to know how to bring him out.

One way to step into The Powerful Man, is to be completely honest and vulnerable with your loved ones. Get feedback from them. Get clear on what it’s like to be in a relationship with you.

It’s time to stop lying to yourself. Remove the mask you’ve been wearing and throw out the skeletons in the closet. This is the KEY to gaining a real sense of EMPOWERMENT.

It’s time to live in alignment with who you truly are.

What you will learn in this episode:

  1. How to bring out the powerful man within you
  2. The importance of coming clean and getting rid of the mask and lies
  3. How to live in alignment with the man you are capable of being
  4. The importance of getting feedback from your loved ones


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Head over to our BONUS page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man.

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Episode Transcript

Tim Matthews  0:00  

It’s kind of like having a cheat code. When you’re a kid, and you play computer games, and someone says, “Have you just tapped the keys in this particular direction? You’ll unlock superpowers”. And all of a sudden, you’re this super badass move on your friend, and it just totally ends him. It’s kind of like that. You’re able to unlock something within you, and it’s always been there, and you’ve just not known how to access it.

Doug Holt  0:25  

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of “The Powerful Man” Show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host Tim, “The Powerful Man,” Matthews. What’s going on, brother?

00: 40


Doug 00:44

I love to laugh when I do that.

Tim  0:44  

I love it. Yeah.

Doug 0:46

You know you do, that’s why it’s funny to me.

Tim Matthews  0:49  

Yeah, it’s great. I mean, incredible.

Doug Holt  0:53  

Well, Tim, today is just a follow-up to one of our other podcasts we did. And I was thinking about it. And as we talk about a couple of things we talked about within the movement, one is the shadow stick man, and the other one is the powerful man. Or your powerful man. And the way that I approached this for myself, and I want to hear from you, is the idea of who I get to become. And so as we reflect on our lives, and me being a father. So I got a son, who’s about two and a half, and a daughter on the way. 

So one question I might ask myself is, who do I get to become to be just an incredible father to these beautiful children? Who do I get to become the husband? My wife agreed to marry six years ago—things like that. The “Who do I get to become to be the powerful man,” my definition of what a powerful man is, and I use that question to him, and I use it uniquely. We have something that we teach the men called “the coil,” which is a weekly review, very systematic, exceptionally well thought out in the sense that it keeps all the guys accountable and on track for a balanced life, in the way that they define it. But while I use this for is, “who do I get to become to be,” this “not idealized” version of myself, but pretty close without putting too many constraints on me. And then I break that down to “what does that look like? what does that guy do?”

Doug  2:28  

So Tim, do you do anything like this?

Tim Matthews  2:31  

I do. Yeah, I do. I view it a little bit differently in the sense that, instead of it being something outside of me and something in the future, who do I get to become? It’s almost as if I am stepping into it. The way that I like to think about this is, who am I?.

Because for me, I believe we’re all-powerful men. Even the people out there who use that power in dysfunctional ways to cause harm to other people. Often, they have tapped into the same power that you and I have tapped into, many of whom we work with. However, they are using it for different means, and we believe that there’s an infinite pool of power that is just waiting to be activated; you just got to know how to start it. It’s kind of like having a cheat code. When you’re a kid, and you play computer games, and someone says, “if you just tap the keys in this particular direction, you’ll unlock superpowers.” And all of a sudden, you’re this super badass move on your friend, and he ends him. He’s like, “Hey, what are you doing??” It’s kind of like that.

You’re able to unlock something within you that’s always been there; you’ve just not known how to access it in terms of “who do I get to become,” considering that you’ve already got this infinite pool of power inside of you when to be activated. It was very much like Michelangelo when he was carving the statue of David, chipping away and chipping away, chipping away it. David was already there. Michelangelo is famous for that quote, isn’t it?. “David was already there. I just have to chip away at everything that wasn’t him”. So I take that approach, if I believe that I am a powerful man, then it’s simply a case of, “Okay, what’s next? What’s the next step here?”. Then once I’ve identified that’s going to be, let’s say is, there’s a project in the Powerful Man business. We’re going to grow the business. 

And let’s say, we’ve been traveling the business year on year, haven’t we?. So let’s say that we’re going to map out next year because we are approaching the following year in our company. And we map out those projections, like Doug, you, and I, will then consider achieving that, “who are we?”. Who do we get to become? It’s a similar thing. Who do you get to become? Or who am I?. “Who am I, as the guy living that?” 

And then it’s a case of really diving into that and being with that, being with that process, okay, well, “Do my actions and habits today fit me? Ft a version of me, yes or no?”. “What are the habits that I would have living that lifestyle, leading that movement, managing those kinds of revenues? Okay? Okay”. “What are the relationships I have? Do my current relationships align with that?”. “Are there any relationships or habits that I may want to let go of?”. 


That’s really, as far as the gap goes for me because I will have identified what those habits are and my current behaviors based on the coil and my Google calendar. And it’s simply a case for aligning them and then choosing to be that guy, remembering that I’m already that guy. I do not believe that when we grow, we take a step forward. I don’t think so. Every bit of growth and expansion that we experience is a step backward; it’s a step closer to home. Because if you think of us as human beings, we are infinitely powerful. You’ve heard stories of people healing themselves from all kinds of diseases if you researched like the original Tesla, the stuff he created, the geniuses of the planet. 

When you stripped away from humans the conditioning of society, of parents, of the media,  all the fear that’s imposed, all the different things that we taught and taught in schools as kids when you strip all that away, what’s left is this magnificent, unlimited being capable of things far beyond the mind can ever comprehend. And it’s only when you almost the way I imagined it. It’s like those machines at amusement parks where you put your coin in his glass cage, and it’s full of teddys. You put the cash in, you get the arm, you try and direct it to a teddy, you put it down, and hopefully, it’ll pick a teddy up, and you win one. 

It’s kind of like doing that with your mind and just picking your mind open, getting out of the way so that you’re able to become a conduit for something much bigger than you and let life flow through you. And this is one of the Alpha Resets, and the men experienced these phenomenal shifts because he so experientially gets them entirely out of their mind of the stories and the fear and the procrastinate. All those things that they’ve been holding back, I get some utterly present in their body and their power, and they experience physically feeling something unlimited,  and it blows them away. And that’s what they carry with them afterward. Hence the significant shifts and the big results then come as from that. So yeah, it’s much more for me to realize that we are already it. We remember that.

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing?. Like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it? I get it. Go to the powerful man.com forward slash freedom right now to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies, ten men just like you, who have found the solution and found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you. Go over to the powerful man.com forward slash freedom right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Doug 09:51

I agree so much. Yeah, it’s true. It’s peeling back the layers getting to the essence of who you are. I mean that when I say like, for the fathers out there, that’s the present, loving man, that’s what a great father is. So with compassion, wisdom, band, who will be there for our kids? for their kids?.  And all these ideas? You mean, you guys are, you are already this powerful man, as Tim described. The layers have been imposed upon you, and how do you strip those away. So Tim, what are some practical actions the guys could do right now?. They know they’re not in a place where their ideal self right now; what a few things they could do are?

Tim Matthews  10:44 

What are a few things they can do? I’m doing my best to think of things that are not experiential. Involve another person because obviously, we see the most significant shifts with the men when we’re there with them, able to coach them and guide them to things. Okay, I’d say the first thing you could do is to come clean. Often lifts a lot of guilt and shame within myself, and the man we work with isn’t just coming clean with their loved ones around any shortcomings. I’ll use myself as an example. So the first time I came clean, was so interestingly received, “Are you in a cult? Are you going mental?” Like, my friends thought I was going insane, all because I was being honest. Crazy our society is. But yeah, I just came clean about how I felt. I felt insecure, and I didn’t feel good enough; I’d use business to mask it. I had a natural, confident exterior. But underneath it, there was a lot of second-guessing; I didn’t trust myself, I didn’t listen to myself, and it was a full mask. 

One day after a series of events, I decided that if you know my story, you’ll know what they are; I have to come clean about this. And I just shared it all through social media, I never used to put a great deal, and that’s extreme to go to. As well as speaking to my parents and the people in my life, I just started to share it all entirely on social media. Going from naught to 100 within a brief period, but it was very accessible, and it was like throwing all the skeletons out of the closet. I even went as far as taking pictures in my boxer shorts, just saying, “Hey, this is me.” Because by that point, I didn’t want anyone in my life that didn’t know who I indeed was and didn’t support who I truly was.

The easiest thing for me was identifying who those people were and getting those skeletons out of the closet. Doing so gave me a real deep sense of empowerment because I was living in alignment with who I truly knew I was capable of being away from all the lies and the masks and so on. So come clean. Well, whether it’s like that, or having a conversation with somebody you love asking your father, let’s say if he’s proud of you. 

That was again one of my biggest moments, having a conversation with him and sharing how I felt most of my life growing up; I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel loved. I was very free in conversation, and you can continue to go, asking your wife, “What is it like to be in a relationship with me?”. Asking your kids, “How can I be a better father?. Getting feedback rather than ignoring how your actions are affecting other people. Dare to get optics, just like anything in business; if you have to make a business move, you want to know what the optics are saying, get feedback, get optics, and come clean. There are other things we could mention here. Still, there are a lot more experiential, and I don’t want to be giving recommendations on how to go about those exercises without actually having somebody, a professional, there to guide you through them. Well, that’s one quick thing that you can do.

Doug Holt  14:11  

Oh, perfect. And I agree with you, and the experiential methodology is always the best way to go. But the important thing, right Tim, is actually to do it. To take action and do the work. 

Tim 14:24


Doug 14:25

And make sure that you get that clarity. It’s often said, we don’t lie to anybody as much as we lie to ourselves. We lie to ourselves to justify what we’re doing, our failures, weaknesses, and strengths to make us look better and feel better about ourselves. It is the ego playing a trick in allowing us the ability to make an excuse. We often talk about the whole “illusion of someday”.. “Someday I’ll get a chance to do this, someday I’ll be the man that I know I am, someday, someday, someday I’ll get help.” And yet, someday never comes like pointing out, go to your calendar right now and point to Sunday. Not Monday, not Tuesday, the 17th of November 

Tim 15:10

Oh, Sunday? Yeah. 

Doug 15:12

Where is “someday” on the calendar? Yeah, not Sunday. You can’t see it. I’m looking at my calendar right now. And I’ll be in the UK on the 17th of November for our Alpha Reset, so it’s not someday, I’ll be there. On this day, supporting the men who’ll be there., I’ll be coaching and co-coaching with the other coaches, the men going through the Alpha Reset. So guys, get rid of it someday; take it out of your folk vocabulary, and think about it like, “Wow, someday I wish I could.” No, pick a date, make it happen. This is your life. This is your time. We’ll talk about, “who do I get to become?”. Well, you get to become the man who leads your life. The man that is already there, as Tim so eloquently said.

Tim 15: 57


Doug 15:58

You get to become the powerful version of yourself, and you get to go back to that man.

Tim Matthews  16:03  

Hmm… I’m there too at the Alpha Reset and will lead the guys to that particular exercise, Doug.

Doug 16: 09


Tim 16:10

It’s fascinating because, at that point, they see themselves for the man that they are, devoid of titles or material possessions or labels, whatever it is. They get to meet themselves, really, truly see the man that they are. And the man that everybody else sees as well, they see it and not only that, feel it.

Doug 16:40


Tim 16:41

And words don’t even come close to describing this experience. If you’ve seen any of the case studies on the powerful man.com forward slash freedom, you can see the guys’ results about the huge transformations they have. And I know it may sound a little bit unbelievable, or maybe you’ve heard it all before or whatever. My advice would be to go over there and look and make your mind up. And you can even reach out to these guys in the Facebook community should you desire to do so. But the point being here is, these guys on day two, they’re done going and double or triple or quadruple their business. 

They’re done by a certain car, or they don’t grow an extra arm; they don’t suddenly become this rich Spartan. They don’t do any of these things to realize the power that’s inside of them, the powerful man that they are. It’s like the wing mirrors; maybe whenever I come to the US and a higher car, I always see a little sticker on the wing mirror saying, “Objects in the mirror may appear closer than they actually are.” But the reality of this is, the objects in the mirror are a lot closer than you think they are. It is; it’s right there just beneath the surface. If you wipe that fog off the mirror when you come out of the shower, that steam that gets on the mirror, then you see yourself, “it’s like ah, it’s the same thing.” Just wiping away stories and lies and the bravado that we so easily, frequently hide behind. I’m super guilty of that. But I was super guilty of doing that. I was a pro at that. I’ve heard so many horror stories as well, and I know you were good at it too. 

But it is right there, and it’s right in front of you.

Doug Holt  18:40  

Absolutely. So as we said, guys, today is the day. This moment is the moment. Never leave the sight of an important insight without taking massive action. With that said, gentlemen over to the powerful men.com forward slash freedom. That page is changing a lot, so we’re constantly changing it to give you guys new case studies, also new tips and tricks that you can look at, to help you get a shining light, to let you know that you’re not alone out there. There are other men just like you who have made it to the other side and saw themselves, the real powerful versions of themselves, for the first time. That’s it for us today. We’ll see you next time on “The Powerful Man Show.”