Episode #975
What if the reason your life feels flat isn’t your job, your relationship, or your body—but the fact that you’ve stopped living on your edge?
In this episode, we dive into what it really means to live to your edge—not just physically, but emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and mentally. Tim and Arthur break down why so many men slowly drift into mediocrity without even realizing it, and how that shows up in a distant marriage, a dull business, or just waking up every day feeling a little… gray.
This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what actually lights you up—about reconnecting with the part of you that once felt unstoppable, confident, and clear.
You’ll hear practical ways men are challenging themselves daily inside The Powerful Man movement—from cold plunges and fasting to having real conversations and owning their truth in the bedroom and beyond.
In this episode, you’ll learn what’s really on the other side of discomfort—and why leaning into your edge might just be the fastest way to become the man your wife, your kids, and you remember and respect.
Because the guy you used to be? He’s not gone. He’s just waiting for you at the edge.
Feel like your wife barely sees you anymore?
Chances are, you’ve pulled back from your edge—and it’s costing you your marriage.
That’s why I want to send you a free copy of A Man’s Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It. No fluff. Just real tools that actually work.
I’ll buy the book. You cover shipping.
Grab your copy now—link’s in the show notes.
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You’ll discover exactly where things went off track in your relationship—and the proven steps to reignite the love, respect, and attraction you’ve been missing.
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Transcription
Arthur 0:00
So I think, check your beliefs, be open and curious, and chase what you’re passionate about.
Tim Matthews 0:11
You know, I love that. I’d also say, know thyself and own it. Yeah, you know, know who you are. Play to your strengths. I think so much time is wasted on trying to make up the weaknesses, or you could just double down on the strengths and go deeper, right? Inch wide, mile deep.
Welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. I am joined again with an amazing man, Mr. Arthur Magulianiti. So I want to talk to you about living to your edge. I have a feeling that most guys listening to this won’t understand what I mean when I talk about living to your edge.
To some people, this is different from the comfort zone, right? The way I see it anyway is different from the comfort zone. And I think most guys who are looking to get deeper levels of clarity, certainty—guys that kind of feel stuck, unclear—and it’s showing up as a lack of polarity in their relationship…
So I’ll be a bit more specific. Their sex is dwindling. Sex is kind of rare. Quite frankly, when you’re not living to your edge, compliments are even rarer. Your wife typically doesn’t look at you like she used to. Your kids typically don’t respect you. Business is a little bit meh, you know, just going through the motions. Could be making great money, but at the same time, you feel very disconnected from it.
Your body is kind of just a bit achy and rusty and just soft. And life is just a little bit gray. And nine times out of ten, in my experience, it’s because men have stopped living and leaning to their edge—sexually, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally—the five edges. They’ve stopped.
And the times in their life when they have felt the most alive, they have felt the most free, they have felt the most on fire, the most unstoppable—it has been… and you know this, as we’ve had the luxury of speaking with thousands of men. Not just work—well, if I talk about speaking with tens of thousands, right? Working with thousands of men.
And this is true in every case, right? I’ve seen this across the board with guys aged in their 30s, the 40s, the 50s, even into the 60s—from the U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, South Africa, other places in Europe—the moments when they reminisce on their life, right? The times in their life when it felt fantastic.
The one common denominator is they were always living and leaning to their edge. I think this is a little bit of a Pandora’s box that guys don’t realize has been working for them and begins to work against them. But when they actually start to tap into it and open Pandora’s box and start living and leaning to their edge again… oh my God, the transformations we’ve seen in the guys!
Think about the guys in the Inner Circle, when every week we’ve been grilling them: “How are you going to get uncomfortable in the next seven days?” And you know, they’ll give a response, and the first response is never what we take because it’s just typically a half-assed response.
It could even be, “Well, I’m going to have this honest conversation with this person.” Well, no, come on, you’re two years into the movement, three years in, you’re used to having honest conversations. It’s who you are. That’s not going to get you uncomfortable. That’s just the task that needs to be done.
“How are you going to get uncomfortable in the next seven days?” “Well, you know what? The thing that would really light me up…” Okay. Now keep going. We’re now on the right path.
As we press people, and as it becomes their standard—for the guys, we’ll talk, keep it within Inner Circle right now—as it becomes their standard of living: I get uncomfortable, I seek discomfort, and thus I live and lean to my edge. The power that they’re then living—I’ll define power as autonomy—the level of autonomy and freedom they have in their life to be who they want to be is just unparalleled.
Arthur 4:55
Yeah. And it’s so refreshing, invigorating, and liberating to see these guys in the space that they get to when they do that. And that’s what everyone wants, right? Mm-hmm. It’s just guys are so scared of actually leaning into the edge for a bunch of reasons that mostly don’t really stack up when you actually dissect them. And yeah, I mean, that’s the only way to live, really. If that’s the only way—we were talking about making progress—you want to make real progress in your life, you get to lean into your edge. That’s… on the other side of that fear of leaning into your edge is that freedom that you’ve been wanting. It’s that passion, it’s that happiness, it’s that feel-good. It’s all of those good things, which is not where you’re at and what you have right now, no, if you’re not leaning into it.
Tim Matthews 5:56
Now, let’s talk about some examples of living and leaning into their edge, in the five edges, right? Let’s talk about physically. That’s an easy one. Give some examples.
Arthur 6:05
For the masculine, I think it’s important that we master our bodies, right? And just going to the gym three times a week and making it like, “Oh, it’s, you know, like taking a shower”—no. Own your body, right? Know what your body’s capable of. Make it a weapon. Don’t accept anything less than just the best for your body, right? That is, I believe, leaning into your edge. It’s really pushing yourself to achieve the best possible body, health—and not just the body, but your health, right? Holistically.I mean, obviously, that’s what we talk about. It’s not about the six-pack. That’s part of the whole picture. You know, it is about you being healthy. It’s making sure that… Let me back up. It’s really about—we’re talking about penetrating, right? The masculine gets to penetrate his life, right?
How do you penetrate your health, right? How do you get ahead of the curve? It’s not settling for average. It’s not settling for mediocrity. It’s not like, “Okay, I’ll see you in the gym at eight,” and, you know, we’ll hang around the cooler and we’ll watch our phones or whatever. No. You’re on a mission, and that mission is to conquer your health, to be ahead of the curve on your health. And so that’s diet, that’s exercise, that’s your biochemistry, right? Knowing all the values, and not just… It’s taking full responsibility for everything that has to do with your health and you dictating what’s right for you moving forward.
Tim Matthews 7:38
Yeah. Fasting—great one. I love that. Iron Man—he does a five-day fast every quarter. Not Iron Man as in the movie, like Iron Man in the movement. Yeah, I love that. I love that. Fasting is a great way, especially a five-day fast, right? Five-day water fast to live and lean to your edge—to penetrate. Stuff that’s going to come up during that process is going to bring some stuff up. The cold exposure—you’ve obviously just got back from Finland, where you were doing some of that ice swimming, and not the kind where you wear a wetsuit, yeah, a different kind. But yeah, okay, let’s stick with this, because it’s going to be a shorter episode. Exactly. Examples of living and leaning to the edge sexually?
Arthur 8:27
So yeah, this is a bit of a bugbear with me, because I think most guys are wholly unprepared to be really good lovers, right? And I think that part of that is a lack of education on their part, a lack of watching too many movies or the wrong kind of movies. But for me, it’s really about learning how to be a better lover and expressing that, and being open to expressing that with your partner. And so being able to take her to places where she’ll always want to come back. I often joke with the guys like, well, you know, if you finish in three minutes, right, why would she want to come back and say, “Let’s have sex”? She’s not, right? Because it’s not enough. It’s not enough. So becoming a master in the bedroom—alright—for a mutual connection of a higher level than just a three-minute job, that for me is leaning into your edge and being comfortable within yourself to be able to bring that darker side in the bedroom. Obviously, we’re talking mutual consent and all of that and respect, but being open to that and being expressive of yourself and owning yourself in that environment.
Tim Matthews 9:51
Yeah, I’d agree with that. Fantasies—I think certain conversations, right, can be definitely leaning to the edge. So actually being very honest and open with your desires and what you want. There’s lots of conversations that can spin off from that, right? Lots of tools that we’ve given the men in the movement over the years: a yes/no/maybe list, all sorts. But all great work, great ways and great examples of living and leaning to your edge. The Master of the Domain challenge, right? That the guys do in the movement where they… well, basically abstain from—I don’t know, I don’t think they abstain from sex—definitely ejaculation, don’t they? Some of them have done it for months. Yeah, it’s incredibly impressive, but it’s living and leaning into your edge sexually, right? Because urges are going to come up still, desires are going to come up still. The guys even still have sex when they go through that.
Tim Matthews 10:53
Living and leaning to the edge emotionally?
Arthur 10:53
So I think for the emotional side, it’s being okay to express what’s happening in your life with the right people. Yeah, I think part of that is being vulnerable, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I think it’s all about communicating openly, honestly, with what’s on your heart, with the people that matter. Obviously, not everyone is the right person to be doing that with, you know, and so you—we’re talking about your people, right? The people that you trust. Being okay to open up to them, being okay to be accountable to people, showing up fully and sharing what’s on your mind, on your heart. And we have great success with that in our packs. You know, the guys form a bond with each other, and in our packs, whether it’s five or ten people, whatever it is, they become a family, and anything goes because you have that safety there. And being okay with being seen—I think that’s the key part to leaning into your edge on the emotional side.
Tim Matthews 12:04
I love that. Yeah, I would add in really making friends with—I mean, the darker side comes into this too—really making friends with your anger. You know, learning to have a healthy relationship with the anger that resides inside of you. Because I think, as men, it’s a primal energy. It exists on a spectrum, right? Ironically, a lot of the toxic masculinity that’s in the world—I’m not a fan of that term—but a lot of the issues with masculinity that exist in the world, where it results in unhealthy displays of aggression, be it through stabbings, shootings, whatever it may be, are because, typically, one of the reasons is because those people haven’t developed a healthy relationship with their anger. And therefore, as a result, it gets suppressed and shut down and pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed until it then erupts in a violent act, right? Anger exists on a spectrum. On one end, you’ve got someone that’s incredibly passive and has no boundaries and is a doormat and all the rest of it. On the other end, you’ve got somebody who commits an awful, violent crime, right? There’s a middle ground within that, where you can have a very healthy relationship with your anger, whereby you can very much stand your ground. You know, you’re very connected to how it feels. You think about 80% of communication is non-verbal, right?
Doug Holt 13:35
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Tim Matthews 14:28
Your posture, your facial expression, your tone of voice, how you carry yourself—they all say a lot about you and who you are and where you’re at in any moment in time. And as a result, somebody gets a real read on what you’re willing and unwilling to accept in any moment. But unless you’re willing to connect with that side of yourself without seeing it as something that’s bad or scary or whatever it may be—and it takes living and leaning to your edge to get to know that part of you and be okay with that part of you and see it as something that’s healthy and integral— If you are going to, to your point, penetrate the world… Because you know, and when we say penetrate the world, what we’re talking about with that is you showing up in the world in the way that you want to be without giving a shit. Like, yes, be ethical, yes, have morals, all that kind of stuff. I’m not talking about treating people badly. Treat people very respectfully. Treat people how you would want to be treated.
And when you are able to experience the kind of freedom that money can’t buy—which is the freedom to be who you want to be—not the freedom of time, not the freedom of money, not the freedom of location, it’s the freedom to be who you want to be. That’s what we’re all after. That’s penetrating the world. Because you say what you want to say, you do what you want to do. You play to win, you take risks, you enjoy the journey, you laugh at yourself. There’s an absolute freedom and authenticity that comes within that. But part of that living to your edge emotionally is this—it’s this darker piece too.
Arthur 16:07
Yeah. I think, like, my definition of integrity is when you are—when you talk and you feel and you think the same thing. That’s being completely congruent. A lot of guys are not there. No, not at all. And I think if you can live a life where you are completely congruent in what you think and what you feel and what you say—and you think, “Did I say that?”—then you are living truthfully, authentically. And I’d say that’s living at your edge.
Tim Matthews 16:36
Definitely take a lot of risks when you’re in that spot, right? If you’re going to be honest—which is a big piece—you’ve got to be okay with upsetting people. Yeah. And you’ve got to be okay with realizing that how somebody takes what you say, their reaction to you, their response—that’s theirs to deal with. Yeah, right? That’s not yours. You can’t worry about that. Yes, obviously, again, you want to be ethical and all that stuff. I keep feeling the need to say that. I just imagine somebody taking this completely out of context, right? And I shouldn’t feel the need to say that, quite frankly.
Arthur 17:09
When we’re talking about sharing your truth, you’re not sharing like a hammer over the head, because truth can hurt, right? But it is sharing it with love, right? In a way, you can say the same thing in two different ways. One, you can really damage people with it. The other way, you can actually help people with it. It’s still your truth. And so there is a delivery aspect that we get to take into account as well.
Tim Matthews 17:33
So, living and leaning to your edge spiritually? Hmm, surrender. For me, it’s surrender. It’s getting out of the way. One of the biggest shifts for me in my life was realizing it was never about me, and it was about we. And when I chose to get out of the way and stop making it about me and make it about we, the thing that was flowing through me—and chose to surrender to it and follow what felt right—it was magical. It’s just a magical way to live. Yeah, whenever I make it about me, it slows down. Whenever I make it about we, it speeds up. You know, I’ve said it many times: I feel like I’m a guardian of TPM. It doesn’t feel like it’s my thing, you know? It’s our thing. It’s the world’s thing. You know, whether you call it God, the universe, whatever you want to call this thing that—not everyone—but people can typically feel, and people typically give trust to, you know? There’s so much power in that, at least for me.
Arthur 18:47
Yeah, and I guess it’s going to be different for everyone. I mean, I would agree with you. I think the more I’ve surrendered to life, the easier things have got, right? And I think other people will feel something different with regards to spirituality, because some people will take it to religion and things like that. And, you know, whatever is your thing—are you actively pursuing that? Are you actually progressing in that? Are you doing the work in that? That’s important. But spirituality is quite a confusing term for different people, right? Not confusing, but—what I mean is—people have different definitions for it. And so, whatever your definition is, are you leaning into your edge there? Are you penetrating that?
Tim Matthews 19:43
Big piece. The spiritual edge, as well, is doing the right thing. There’s so much overlap between these three, and there’s an intersection that exists between all these. But doing the right thing—it means to surrender, right? Doing the right thing when no one’s looking, because you know it’s the right thing to do. It’s not always easy. It’s not always comfortable. It would often be easier not to, at times. I guess—would I say that’s living and leaning into my edge? Probably not, actually. That’s just how I operate. But okay, the final: mental.
Arthur 20:16
I think living into edge is actually just challenging your belief system, right? And all the more important nowadays is allowing the opportunity for different perspectives to come in, because we get so fixed in our, “It’s this way,” and, “No, no, no,” and, “I’m not willing to entertain any other thought.” Well, if you’re not willing to entertain any other thought, are you saying that you’ve got the right thought on it?
So I think being open, being curious, definitely leaning into what is inspiring you and what you’re curious about—that, for me, is really important. And living to your edge, it’s more pleasurable, right? But it also allows you to progress more. So I think, check your beliefs, be open and curious, and chase what you’re passionate about.
Tim Matthews 21:16
Yeah, I love that. It’s also “know thyself and own it.” Yeah, you know, know who you are. Play to your strengths. I think so much time is wasted on trying to make up the weaknesses, where you could just double down on the strengths and go deeper—right? Inch wide, mile deep. And so many people deny their own greatness. They play down their strengths because they don’t want to come across as being arrogant. You’ll never get somebody who is comfortable in their own skin calling someone arrogant, because they are also comfortable in their own skin, right?
It’s kind of like the idea—you’ll never get somebody who’s successful in business talking shit about somebody who’s just starting out in business. They’re always going to encourage it, right? Whereas somebody who’s never even started a business—typically those ones will be the ones that’ll be talking crap about the person that’s starting out, even though they have no idea what it takes, right? You know, living and leaning to the edge mentally would be really building what you said: really knowing who you are and being very good with that. Really owning that—owning the beliefs that you have. Question what you do believe to be true, right? Being very comfortable with that without bending all the time to please people or to fit in or to play small.
So often now, we’ve spoken with—worked with—tons of men who have dimmed their light. They’ve played small because they didn’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable. You know, it sounds so crazy when you say it that way, right? But it is so easily done. So the reason why I wanted to bring this up is because one of the core components of the Ascension Blueprint is the Edge Expansion Protocol. And a big piece within that protocol is giving the guys a tool to help them begin to live and lean to their edge every day. We’ve got the Edge Tracker that they’re going to be using. They’ve got threshold journaling that they do.
Because naturally, as you live and lean to your edge—you’ll know yourself—there are things you’ll learn about yourself at your edge, right? You also realize it’s not as scary as you’ve been making it out to be. And when it becomes a way of life, the freedom that you experience on the other side of it, the magnetism that you then have, the clarity—just everything begins to align. Because typically when the guys come into the program—before they come in—they’re stuck, they’re unclear. Life has become very mundane. They want to get back to being the guy that they once knew, right?
This particular piece is one of the ways in which to do that. And when they choose to live this way, it’s not easy—but it’s worth it. When they choose to live this way, they become magnetic again. The wife begins to lean in: “Oh, this is the guy I remember.” Business takes on a whole new meaning and a whole new level. The health transforms. The kids change around them, because who they are and how they’re operating completely levels up. It’s not that they become a different person—they just become who they once were. They remember. It’s like a remembering, right?
They’ve just lost touch with it over five, ten, twenty years, as they’ve had kids and marriage and they’ve built a business. And there’s just been a slow erosion, right, of who they are. And I just love seeing it come back. I just love seeing it come back to life, because the energy around these guys— I’ve been around these kinds of men who are living this way—is, oh my God, it’s infectious.
Arthur 25:03
It is, yeah, and it’s inspirational. I mean, how many of the guys just inspire me, you know, in what they have achieved. And interestingly, it may start off slowly, but there’s like a snowball effect as well. And the more you do this, then suddenly—wow, look, a muscle. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Things just start happening.
Tim Matthews 25:23
While you work the muscle, the stronger it gets, you know.
Arthur 25:26
Things happen rapidly in a way that—like, how many times do guys say, “I can’t even—I can’t believe where I am now. A year down the line, I don’t even recognize myself. If you told me I would have done this, this, this, like a year ago, I would have laughed in your face.” And here you go. And the funny part is, they’re only just getting started.
Tim Matthews 25:47
I love it. So gents, if you want to find out more about the Ascension Blueprint and how it might be able to work for you, go ahead and send the word ascend into VIP—that’s vip@thepowerfulman.com. That’s ascend to vip@thepowerfulman.com. Somebody on the team will give you a call, ask a little bit about your situation, and share about the program—and you can just take it from there. Either way, if this resonates with you and you don’t email us—just do something. Don’t stay on the fence. The worst place to be in your own life is on the fence. Like Dougie Fresh always says: at the moment of insight, take massive action.
We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.
