I was speaking to a good friend and old client the other day who used to be obsessed with trying to figure out “what to do”.
Whether it was in business – where he was constantly on the hunt for strategies and techniques to make sales and haul in leads…
…in the gym – where he was trying to find the best exercises and techniques that would get me strong and lean.
Or in his relationships – where he just wanted to skip all the conflict and figure out a plan of what to do.
(which led to extremely challenging relationships)
Whatever it was, his focus was always on trying to hurry up and figure out “what to do”.
And in many ways this mindset helped him grow…
…but it also almost got in the way of his relationship with his daughter.
Because “what to do” is not the biggest factor in creating real change in your life.
Change has less to do with your “plans” and more to do with who you are BEING to execute those plans.
Let me explain,
In his words he used to be a major “avoider”.
If he had issues that were bothering him, he’d mentally pack them up and tell himself he was going to deal with it later.
If he had a bill come in the mail that he didn’t feel like dealing with – he would leave it on the table and tell himself “I’ll open it later” (as if not seeing the bill inside, made it any less real)
When he would pull up to his driveway and he had rubbish in his passenger seat, he’d tell himself that he’d grab it next time.
Little did he know this was exactly how his was handling his relationships.
He avoided…he pushed things off and buried them until he felt like dealing with them (which normally only happened after the shit hit the fan)
He’d always tell himself he’d get around to “doing it” later.
But “later” hardly ever came – and as a result, his life began to unravel.
It’s cliché – but so true … “how you do one thing, is how you do everything”.
He quickly learned (after investing 10’s of thousands in coaching and mentors) that for him to get what he wanted in life – trying to figure out what to do was secondary.
He needed to figure out who he needed to become…
SO THAT HE COULD ACTUALLY DO WHAT’S NECESSARY TO GET WHAT HE WANTED, FIRST.
The things holding my friend back in his business and relationships were never because he didn’t know what to do.
It was because he wasn’t BEING the man who could actually pull it off.
In other words, he had to BECOME a man who didn’t avoid things or push them off if he wanted to get the results he said he was committed to.
And it started with picking up the rubbish in his car every time he parked it.
It started with hitting the gym and working out when he didn’t feel like it.
It started with opening up his mail and dealing with whatever was inside even if he didn’t feel like it.
It started with having difficult conversations inside his business.
It started with having real conversations within in his relationships.
Jonny knew that if he wasn’t going to BE like that in all areas of his life – He wasn’t going to BE like that in any area of his life…
…which meant he would continue to be stuck getting the same results…
…EVEN IF HE HAD A GREAT PLAN OF ACTION STEPS.
I bring this up because I talk a lot about how powerful the right strategies and systems can be for a man to unlock personal power whilst simultaneously having more sex, a connected relationship with his kids, a body that is on fire, and increasing his profits without burning out.
And it’s true.
But the reality for men struggling with marriages that are on the rocks, businesses that produce more chaos than cash, and sedating with food, drink, drugs, or porn isn’t a lack of a plan.
It’s not a lack of information either.
It’s a lack of BEING.
I’m sure there’s a Lil’ laundry list of reasons you don’t already have what you want.
Maybe you’re just feeling overwhelmed by the whole idea and don’t know where to start.
Maybe you’re still exploring your options and trying to get all your questions answered
Maybe it’s the idea of trying to build a life that works at the same time as working 60-80 hours a week in your business.
All of these are very reasonable reasons…
But there’s no amount of information that’s going to solve it or change that reality for you.
Being overwhelmed, scared, uncertain, and busy is just part of the game – you will never really be able to escape those obstacles.
The only solution is to BECOME the type of person who can do the things necessary to overcome them.
Whether that’s learning how to take action without needing complete certainty that it’s going to work (because that will never happen)…
Or whether you need to start shifting your mindset to one that finds ways to make things happen as opposed to reasons why they won’t work.
Whatever it is…
The point is, you MUST become that person and exercise those qualities in EVERY area of your life if you’re going to get specific results in specific areas of your life.
There’s no other way around it,
The good news is, you don’t need to go on a sabbatical to become some new person.
Just simply decide that you’re going to start BEING a certain way and look for opportunities to BE it.